What do you think should be done about "open" adoptions that are closed?

Question

I am speaking specifically about AP's who you picked because you knew that you would be able to have whatever specifications both parties agreed on (and it varies with every person). Then they cut off all contact. This is not unusual. It almost ALWAYS happens. Mine was a textbook case, literally. Two years after it happened I came across a book that described these scenerios and until that time I kept wondering, "What did I do?" I was devastated. This was the first and only book that had "open" adoption mentioned in it. Now alot more has been written about it. I hope this helps clarify.

Answer 1

I think that there should be offender registries for people who close adoptions (on either side) that flag them as people who should not be trusted in adoption agreements.  The offender registry could be used as a standard for anyone who is considering adoption.  This would help to weed out the liers in "open" adoption.

Answer 2

Like what is it your trying to ask? If the child KNOWS they are adopted or what? please clarify!

Answer 3

Open adoption is an arrangement facilitated through licensed private agencies, lawyers, or other professionals. The birth mother and the adopting parents apply to the agency and receive education, counseling, and assistance throughout the process, including the legalization of the adoption.

Answer 4

I think that if either the AP's or the FIRST PARENTS walk away that an open adoption should be upholdable by the courts. Unless its unsafe for the child, like always.

Answer 5

Open adoption agreements need to be enforceable by law.

There need to be penalties (for BOTH sides) and mediators to adjudicate conflicts.

The most important thing to remember in an open adoption is that it is not the adults feelings that are important, it is the child.

Answer 6

Can you call the adoption agency and tell them your story?  You know what?  I would still send your child birthday cards with letters and photos.  Do the same for x-mas, mothers day any holiday you choose.  Then one day you can tell your child how hard you tried to keep in contact.  If the aparents see the consistency and that you aren't going away maybe they will at least send you some photos.  It seems so inhumane.  I don't know how they sleep at night.  Big hugs to you. GL

Answer 7

I believe it is dependent upon the reason that the open adoption was closed.  If a child is suffering for some reason, I believe that the adoptive parents have a right to protect the child.  I am by no means saying that all bio parents mentally or physically abuse kids - I know that it is rare in open adoption situations.  But I still feel that there needs to be "some" type of protection there for the child.

Also, if a bio family chooses to close the adoption, that poses a whole different set of issues.  We were supposed to have an open adoption with our son's parents.  They chose to walk away from that immediately after signing the papers.  We do, fortunately, have an open relationship with my son's grandparents, but not with the first parents.

I believe that the only way to close an adoption should be through a legal hearing to determine the child's best interest.  Perhaps even appoint a child advocate for the hearing.  I also do not feel that bio families should be forced into keeping open adoptions if they find it is too hard for them, but I think something should be put in place to insure the child receives information when they become an adult.

Answer 8

Honestly I think if is an open adoption and the adoptive parents fail to meet all of the agreed on guidelines they should suffer legal consequences.