What do you think so far?

Question

I'm writing a new poem based on the old ones of HP Lovecraft. I came up with the first stanza a while ago and just had it repeating in my head and I really want to flesh it out into a full poem. I've come up with 2 more stanzas. This is a very rough unfinished draft but I wanted opinions anyway as my brain has decided to stop working.

In the spaces, betwixt stars

Slumber manxome avatars

There colours born in outer space,

a thousand eyes and yet no face

lemur's wings and peacock horns,

impossible cyclopean forms

That's it. The 2nd and 3rd verses I just came up with. Overall the only stanza I really like is the first one. Thanks in advance for any input or constructive criticism.

Answer 1

not bad at all, get the rest done could be great don't rush it though

Answer 2

its....new..... very linguistic!

Answer 3

I like it :) This is bloody fantastic! You have a rare talent. Oh my, this is just so evocative!