What do you think this is???

Question

My son is 3 he will be 4 in oct. I have a 6 year old girl and a 1 year old girl and he is very playful and outgoing with his sisters and me and his dad. But when we are around any other people he is very withdrawn. He isolates him self and doesn't play with any other children. He won't say Hi or talk to ANYONE else but when we get home he'll talk all about it ( like if we went to a birthday party he won't talk to any kids or play with any kids but he will talk about it when we get home) Sometimes he isolates himself at home like he will go in his room and play by himself. This really worries me because like his aunt will tell him Hi and he won't say anything back. And some people look at me like "what is wrong with your kid" Has anyone had this happen with their children? Do you think he is just super shy and he will outgrow this? Or do you think that something might be wrong and if what?

Thanks for all your help!!

Answer 1

In my opinion he is just really shy. I was very similar as a child. If I didn't know someone or didn't see them a lot I would not talk at all, and stay very close to my Mom the whole time. Whereas if I was around someone I knew well I was very talkative and outgoing. Again this is just my opinion,  it could be something else.

Answer 2

Does he go to preschool?  If not enroll him now.  He needs to socialize which is what preschool is for, to prepare them with social skills and other information they need for starting kindergarten.  My son use to be like that but he is much more open now since spending 2 years in preschool.  

Answer 3

I think that at this point, pre-school or daycare would be too traumatic of a separation for him.  What I would do is enroll him in a program where YOU would go with him and help teach him to interact, such as a Kindermusik or a TKD class, etc.  You go along and help him learn to introduce himself, etc.

I think he's just shy and he'll come out of it.  

Answer 4

Honestly it sounds like anxiety.  Specifically selective mutism.  I would not wait it out.  If it is selective mutism he will have a difficult time with preschool, esp. without treatment.  With selective mutism, it isn't that the child chooses not to socialize, it isn't possible because the anxiety is so high.  I would make an appointment with a pediatric neurologist.  This appointment will probably not be happening this year.  They book out 6-12 months in advance.  Keep the appointment, you can always cancel later, but I would keep it anyway.

My son just finished kindergarten this year with a child who has this.  Now I have seen this before, but in a clinical setting.  His selective mutism caused him to be paralyzed with fear the entire year.  He would look anxious and cry even if anyone was looking at him just taking his coat off.  He did not socialize and his skills fell behind.  He is repeating.  

I did attend his birthday party at his home.  He was a completely different child.  I had never seen a child with selective mutism in the home environment and I was shocked.  He was appropriate, social and anxiety free.  He came in and said Hi Shane, are these your brothers?  What are their names?   Want to see my swingset?  I was like WOW!  He did get dx late, age 5, and did start taking meds in the middle of the year.  Not all kids with this need meds, but they do need treatment to function.  The mom wishes that she had gotten him into a specialist sooner.  He was born a few weeks early and everybody kept telling her he would be fine.  She told me that she became very worried at 2.5 years.  And that the pediatrician minimized the issue.   This kid has no delays and is average intelligence.  Sometimes there is a family history of anxiety disorders, or irritable bowel, colitis-both anxiety based, ocd-anxiety based