What do you think when hear about someone having attachment issues?

Question

My boyfriend just recently told me that he is having issues with getting emotionally attached to me, and if there is one person he wants to change for, it's me, I'm so confused, because at the same time he goes on and on about how crazy he is about me. WTF? Can anyone give me some insight on what he means by this.

Answer 1

It means he is struggling with having attachment issues which were present before he met you, he's having them still but because he loves you he wants to get over that.  

Answer 2

Just ask him what he meant by it.

Usually when I think of attachment issues I think of clingy people - who are too attached, and bordering on co-dependent.  It can also go the other way though, he could be feeling detached from you and wants to feel closer.  I'm not sure what he meant by it.

Answer 3

It's hard to say because I don't know you and him but it could mean a few things.  He could just be saying this stuff so you know he is not into committing to you, and he feels like this is sufficient warning so he won't feel guilty.  How well do you know this guy?  Also, he really could have been hurt before, cheated on, or something which is something that only he can work on.  People usually come around, learn to trust again, just give it some time, but don't get caught on the losing end of this stick.

Answer 4

Either he has spilled superglue all over himself, or else he is trying to say that he is afraid of commitment.

I hate it when I glue my head to the couch.

Answer 5

always listen to your instincts, other wise you will still have this conversation 5 years from now. You feel that he is not attracted and he is trying to talk you out of your feelings and instincts.  

Answer 6

he is probably just scared. and he doesn't know how to open up to you about his emotions. guys really don't like to talk about there emotions so it is hard for him to get emotionally attached  

Answer 7

your issues are too much for me, I cant do it, too fragile and too concirned about myself because you have not shown any concern about me. If in a relationship I must take care how to protect myself from you, I need not to stay. You are just the same as anyone else Why you then?  

Answer 8

He’s not looking to be in a serious relationship. He’s saying he really likes you but he’s warning you that you can’t expect chocolates and flowers every month. Maybe he was hurt in the past – maybe he wants to keep his options open (if you know what I mean). I think you should tread with caution here because his attachment issues might become your heartbreak issues. Take it slow and see where it goes, but set a personal deadline for how long you’ll wait for him to commit.  

Answer 9

Make sure you get your space early in the relationship. Make sure you're out with friends, and doing your own thing from time to time. It will be almost impossible to have that independence after 6 months into the relationship because it'll seem like you're cheating.  

Answer 10

Well, this could be 1 of 2 things...  1- hes had some past negetive relationship issuesm, whether it was growing up or with a past gf.  2-  Hes hes playing really good mind games with you, and is really just afraid to break up with you.  Id have a sit downwith him an try to really find out whats going on with him.  Goodl Luck!

Answer 11

HE IS TRYING NOT TO COMMIT TO JUST YOU,,BUT HE IS TELLING YOU U R CHANGEING HIS MIND  CAUSE HE DOSE LOVE YOU SO MUCH,,,SO TELL HIM TO COMMIT TO JUST U,,OR U WILL START DATING OTHER GUYS,,I BET HE WILL COMMIT TO JUST YOU,,,,GOOD LUCK,,,PEACE

Answer 12

A girl has hurt him once in the past and this has caused his heart to be uneasy.  

Answer 13

He can't be as devoted to you as he'd like to be. Give him space to figure it out. Sometime absence will make him realize what he's lost.  

Answer 14

Red flag. He has strong insecurity issues and is attaching himself to you. Be careful.  

Answer 15

hes confused hes problebly loved someone before you and still holds sum love for them but he likes you at the same time just once in a while tell him you love him and that you wont let him go  

Answer 16

He is afraid to get to attached to you.  It sounds like he is insecure, and afraid you will break his heart.  Try to reassure him.  xox

Answer 17

first off he shouldn't want to change for you he should want to do it for himself and if he can't get emotionally attached to you then how is he crazy about you sounds like he is confused and he don't know what he is saying

Answer 18

Sometimes people have a hard time giving 100% of themselves to someone they love and its not unusual. Everyone feels vulnerable in a relationship and there is always the risk of giving your heart to someone and being hurt, betrayed or rejected later. Has he had experiences like that in previous relationships? He might just be doubting the bond between you, so you need to talk to him and explain how much you care for him and that you never want to hurt him. Breaking down that personal wall can be hard and it can take a while but as long as you show you are supportive and loyal, he will eventually feel safe with you and be able to trust in the fact that you two can make a loving, healthy relationship last. Ask him what he needs from you right now, emotionally, physically, supportively, etc... With good communication and TLC, I'm sure he'll open up. Good luck!

Answer 19

He is probably afraind of getting hurt if thngs don't work out.  Has he been hurt before?  He means that he loves you but afraid to put his heart in it.  I think