What do you think when you hear the word "Birthmother"?

Question

What kind of a person is she? Who are "Birthmothers" in your minds?

Answer 1

I must be a birthmother too because I gave birth to the 3 kids I'm raising

It's a disrespectful term coined by the adoption industry to make adoptive parents feel like the 'real' parents

Answer 2

A birthmother is exactly that.  The woman who gave birth to you.  It takes more than labor pains to make a mother!

Answer 3

Your birth-mother is the women whom carried you inside of her for 9 months, went through labor and delivered you into this world.

Answer 4

Birthmother= a term coined by social workers and their ilk to lessen women who have relinquished a child. As for not killing their baby, do we call women who have had abortions "Aborted mothers"???????

Answer 5

To me it’s a woman who gave birth. Regardless if they kept their baby or placed it for adoption, or were a surrogate.

Answer 6

Pain, depression.

A normal, everyday person who doesn't need to be put on a higher level then anyone else.

I hate the word but it is what I am and I hate it!!

I hate people who keep going on about being brave.  Step in my shoes and deal with the pain.

Answer 7

I am adopted and when I hear birth mother I think thank god for that wonderful woman, she gave me a great life I wouldn't have had as an unwanted child.

Answer 8

oh I must be a birthmother then because I loved my child enough not to kill him.

That makes me feel so warm and happy inside.

Answer 9

A woman who, for whatever reason, was able to bring a child into the world, but was wise enough to know that she could not handle being a parent, for whatever reason.  

It is a very difficult decision, one of the hardest a person could ever make, and I have a lot of respect for women (and girls) who know they can't raise the child, but are willing to carry the child to term so he or she can have a great life with a loving adoptive family.

Answer 10

I think of an amazing woman who had the strength and courage to make a choice for her child to be raised by someone else who might be able to better provide for the baby she gave birth to.  Many people think of birthmothers as women who didn't want their children. But thats not really the fact in my opinion. As a future adoptive parent I realize that most birthmothers would love to raise their children but either lack the financial or emotional support to do so.  I have a  very high regard for birthmothers, not a day goes by that I don't consider the fact that without these women I myself could never become a mother.

Answer 11

Desperation

Answer 12

birthmother is simply the woman who gave birth to a child.  It does not necessarily mean she is any kind of mother to the child.  from my understanding it is generally a woman who gave a child up for adoption or was only a surrogate and she is not raising the child.  I don't think you have to be related to a child by blood to be a mother to it, as long as they are being raised with tons of love and support and good morals and such.  Those (among other) qualities are what make a good mother, not just biology.

Answer 13

A "birthmother" is any mother that has given birth to a child. It is a word usually used when there is an adoptive mother also.

When you ask what kind of a person a "birthmother" may be, you will find that they are a varied group of people, the same as any other human beings.  

If you are an older person, you must realize that having a child out of wedlock was once considered shameful.  This is why many young women back then gave up their children.  Also, many "birthmothers" were very, very young and adoptions were more or less arranged by parents, even though their daughters complied.  

There are so many reasons for adoptions and, in many cases, the "birthmother" could almost be considered a victim of circumstances.  We are learning so much about this, about the importance of mothers and their children being eventually united, etc.  Maybe it will be much easier for future adoptees and their birthmothers.  I sure hope so.

Answer 14

When I hear the word "birthmother" it tells me more about the person talking than it does the person they are refering to

Answer 15

Birthmothers can be anything from loving and caring enough to know that they can't take care of their child the way the child deserves, so they give them up for adoption so that they can have a better life, to evil, sadistic, horrible, abusive women who deserve to be steralized so that they can't cause harm to another child.

My "egg doner/womb carrier"(she doesn't deserve the title of mom, in any way) falls into the last catagory.

Frankly, most of the time when I hear "birthmother" I look over my shoulder to make sure she hasn't found me again.

Edited to add:I'm curious as to why I got 5 thumbs downs, when all I did was tell my personal experience?

Answer 16

The women who gave "birth" to you! I don't know if you would call you her mother.... your mother is a person who takes care and loves your from birth on... but your birthmother is the women who gave birth to you!

Answer 17

A very brave person. Many times young and making the most difficult decision of her life.

Answer 18

I think of my son's first mother.  

I hate hate hate the term birth mother.  I agree that it's a term coined by the adoption agencies to put these women into a lesser place.

Answer 19

Someone who gives not only the gift of life, but also the ultimate gift to an adoptive parent(s).  Selflessness, unconditional love, strength.

Answer 20

I think it's so important not to generalize and stereotype people that I have trouble answering your question honestly. Of course, I have my own assumptions and prejudices about what I think a typical woman who would give her baby up for adoption would be like. For instance -- young, poor, probably uneducated, perhaps desperate, perhaps against abortion for religious reasons, maybe even ignorant. However, I bet there are lots of women who have given their babies up for adoption who are highly intelligent and educated and financially stable and older and know what a wonderful gift they are giving to a family by having a child for them. I'm not sure what the purpose of your questin is but, no matter what I would try to minimize generalizing and preconceived notions and think of every birthmother as an individual with their own reasons for wanting to have a baby and giving it up for adoption.

Answer 21

A woman who gave up her child to adoption or even the biological mother of a foster child

Answer 22

A woman that cared enough not to murder her child. A woman that got pregnant and delivered a baby. Nothing more or less. Everything is a personal basis. Some are wretched humans and some are wonderful people. They are all different.

Answer 23

In my mind a birthmother is a woman that gave a person the best gift that anyone could ever give.

Answer 24

The biological mother of an adopted kid.

Answer 25

It depends on the timing as to who she is....

If one stands to profit on her signing away her parental rights she is "selfless, wise, mature, wunnerful, giver-of-the-greastest-gift"

Once her child has grown a bit and either expresses the separation trauma by acting out or behaving contrary to the hopes/wishes/dreams of adoptive parents then the birthmother becomes the scapegoat. She damaged the child in-utero with her smoking, drinking, diet, drugs....whatever - she is the reason for any flaws in the child

When the adoptee grows old enough to express a desire to know her she becomes the woman who abandoned, didn't want/rejected the baby - she was a s**t or worthless/young/unwed/carless and  has surely moved on with her life and doesn't need to be bothered with her past showing up. In fact at this stage some actually believe her privacy should be protected - but that's just another way of trying to ensure the forced separation continues.

Answer 26

What is your reason for asking?  Are you a birth mother, and adopted mother or an adoptee?  or are you just curious?   I am adopted and when I think of birth mother I think of the person who gave me life but nothing else.  however, I have just found my birthmother a couple of weeks ago and as I get to know her "birthmother" sounds indifferent and now I am not sure what to call her.  I dont want to call her by her name, I dont want to call her mom...I already have one.  I cant go around calling her "bio  mom" or "natural mom"  and for the record biological or natural mother doesnt sound any more approiate than birthmother when speaking in general terms

Answer 27

Birthmother is

A mother is the natural or social female parent of an offspring.[1] In the case of a mammal such as a human, the mother gestates her child, which is called first an embryo, and then a fetus.[2] This gestation occurs in the mother's uterus from conception until the fetus is sufficiently developed to be born.[3] The mother then goes into labor and gives birth. Once the child is born, the mother produces milk in a process called lactation to feed the child.

Mothers have historically fulfilled the primary role in the raising of children, but since the late 20th century, the role of the father in child care has been given greater prominence in most Western countries.[4][5] The title mother is often given to a woman other than biological parent, if it is she who fulfills this role. This is most commonly either an adoptive mother or a stepmother (the biologically unrelated wife of a child's father). Currently, with advances in reproductive technologies, the function of biological motherhood can be split between the genetic mother (who provides the ovum) and the gestational mother (who carries the pregnancy), and in theory neither might be the social mother (the one who brings up the child).

Answer 28

the woman who gave birth to someone but had to put them up for adoption

foster mom- she takes in kids from adoption

birthmother- the one who gave birth to the child the foster mom is caring for

Answer 29

To me I think that it is someone just like myself.. Loving, caring and wants what is best for their unborn child.. A birth mom is not different from you or me really.. I really don't understand why they call them birth moms.. But they are people too and deserve the respect also... They are strong, brave, unselfish and loving to be able to help someone out that can't have any children or no more children... To me I have a special place for them in my heart, they have placed their child to give them more than what they could and they should be rewarded for that and loved and not looked down on by society... This is my opinion though...

Answer 30

I am a birthmother. I had to make the most difficult decision that I will ever have to make. I wanted what was best for my child. I put her life ahead of mine. She means the world to me and I wanted to do everything in my power to make sure that she had the best life possible.

So when I think of other birthmom's out there, I think of bravery, sadness, tough times, emotional, emptyness, sadness, caring, and loving. It takes a lot to give up a child and to put their needs in front of your own.

Answer 31

Birth mother is the woman who brought a child into the world.

I like to think that my daughter's birth mother is a woman who loved her very much.  She is a woman who was devastated that her child was born with special needs.  That she was heart broken that she couldn't care for her and had to put her up for adoption, in hope that the state would provide for her until her forever family adopted her.

I thank her for having her and doing the right thing (putting her up for adoption) so I could adopt and love her.

I like to believe that it was the hardest thing she every had to do because she loved this child with all her heart.  This may not be true but it is a nice thought.