Maria had just gotten married, and being a traditional Italian she was still
a virgin. On her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was very
nervous.
Her mother reassured her;
"Don't worry, Maria, Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of
you.
Meanwhile, I'll be making pasta."
So, up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed
his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama,
Tony's got a big hairy chest."
"Don't worry, Maria," says the mother, "all good men have hairy chests.
Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his
pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother.
"Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!"
"Don't worry! All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs
and he'll take good care of you."
So, up she went again. When she got there, Tony took off his socks and on
his left foot he was missing three toes. When Maria saw this, she ran
downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!"
Her Mama said, "Stay here and stir the pasta."
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