What do you with this child...help

Question

my bf's niece will be 5 soon...her parents are always yelling at her, they never just talk to her, she's a mis-behaved child because of it...the other day she snuck out of the house to play with her friends while she was punished...and i dunno how they punished her for sneeking out, but they probably just hit her and put her back in her room........we try to consult them on ways to improve their parenting skills, but they just seem to brush it off and dont listen....they also have a 1 yr old whos the highlight of their life, the mother doesn't even show affection to the almost 5 yr old....just yelling....and i just don't know what to do anymore, their not taking our advice, and the childs getting worse....but when me and my bf take her places with us, it's like she's a totally different child, she's well-behaved, she's nice, friendly......what can i do?

Answer 1

Tell them that their five year old AND their baby both need love and affection, and that it should be balanced with good discipline techniques.  

Answer 2

It's a very difficult and touchy subject when trying to tell a parent what they're doing wrong with their children. I think even worse when you attempt to tell them what to do.

The only thing that you CAN do is to be there for the child.

A child will respond to his/her environment either negative or positive.

The child acts different around you because she knows and feels the attention is positive and loving.

You can be there for the child as she ages and developes and hopefully you and your boyfriend will be able to counter act what she's getting at home.

Keep on loving her as you are and you may be surprised on how much she will want to be with someone that is loving over her parents.

Good Luck I know it's a hard thing to watch.

Answer 3

The parents need serious help, maybe mum suffering post natal depression.

Maybe parents need to tackle something from their own pasts.

Could also work with them to help them find out what triggers them to behave like this, get them to think about what makes them cross and see if they/you can help them find alternate ways of managing their behaviour / time outs etc. They also need to work together  as parents and if they that cross tell child to take time out then come back to putting in discipline when calmer, and when everything has calmed down, give the older child time to talk about why they chose to behave like that and ask the child if/how they could deal with it next time.

If you want more outline on what i have put forward please mail me and i will send you some info free through email attachment.

Good luck

Answer 4

This is so sad!

Answer 5

Sad.  Maybe you could SHOW them what they are doing. Not when the little girl is around, but basically one of you act like the little girl and the other act like the parents and show them how bad their behavior is.  Sometimes it takes actually seeing seomthing before you can recognize it.

Sounds like they treat her like a dog.

Answer 6

take her out with you as much as you can. at least she has someone who cares about her, and with whom she can be herself.

but you cannot really interfere with someone else's parenting, unless they are asking for your advice.

it would be really bad if they got upset with you telling them what to do, and then stopped allowing you to take their daughter out. i guess as long as the kid is not in physical danger, all you can do is be a friend to her.

Answer 7

Stop trying to "consult" them on how to raise their children.  It's not your child and you're not even family, so they may see it as invasive.  Just keep setting a good example with your own child... you DO have a child of your own, right?  If not, you definitely shouldn't be doling out parenting advice to them.  They most likely see it as extremely offensive, especially if it's coming from someone who has never been a parent.  

Again, just set an example with your own child.  Unless they are doing something that would warrant a visit from CPS, there's not much else to do.