What does a mom do when the kids grow up?

Question

My girls are 15 and 10, I have been a mom since I was 17, I've always been needed. Now, not so much. I mean I have found myself setting there "waiting to be needed". My husband is a trucker, so he's gone, my mom and dad have remarried other people and are wrapped up in their own lives, I have no siblings, my granny is dying with Alzheimer's in a nursing home....I don't know what to do w/myself. Someone said I needed to do what I enjoy, but I don't know what that is anymore.How do I go about finding myself????

Answer 1

most stay at home moms come to this point

you can go to school or help at a nursing home or hospital or even a library

Answer 2

well, i know of two women who divorced when her kids grew up.

Answer 3

First off take a vacation to a spa or someplace where you can get some down time. Then evaluate your life on the whole picture maybe get a hobby, go out with girlfriends, take in a movie, go shopping or whatever else you fancy to give you some time to really discover who you are. I wouldn't worry so much about your girls because they are soon going to also get to the age where you will be invaluable to them.  

Answer 4

find a hobby whether it is something physical and you can join a gym or a book club....now is the time to do something for you.  Just start trying things until you find what it is that you enjoy, it may be something totally different than what you use to enjoy because life changes people and you need to find your nitch again.  You'll always be a mom, just in a different way.  My kids are still very young but I just recently went through this but on the opposite end of you.....I am the daughter of the mother (well grandmother who raised me) who finds herself in the same spot as you, she is now joining a community thing where she can take tours of places and go to the local place here and do different activities.  We still spend alot of time together, like shopping or lunch but she has a little more time to do things she enjoys also.  Good Luck!

Answer 5

You can involve the children in activities and join them.

You can be on the PTA and help with fundraisers and chaperoning dances, etc...

You can put the ten year old in dance or self defense classes. You can stay with her in dance class & join her in self defense classes.

You can also start a teen/parent club in your neighborhood.

The parents can work together to collect money (car wash, candy sales) to take the kids on field trips...for ice cream, to the zoo, to the waterpark, to the amusement park, etc... It will keep the kids out of trouble and be fun for the parents as well.

Best wishes

Answer 6

Help them find some activities that they enjoy doing. Join the school groups they have for parents also just let your girls know your there when they need you. Be open so they feel open to talk to you about anything. In the meanwhile, talk your girlfriends or go out doing different things like bowling or movies. Go shopping and give yourself a new look. My mom did that and surprised me.

Answer 7

How selfless of you to give so much of yourself to your family for so many years. It must be really hard to watch everybody move on with their lives and "leave you behind"--but that's the thing! You would never expect everyone to just drop everything in their lives and cater to the way you're feeling, right? So you've gotta get out there and experience what life has to offer! What makes you happy? Is it helping others? A church is a great place to do that. Many churches have different organizations and even missions trips devoted towards bettering the lives of others. You might want to do some research online also as I'm sure there are thousands of women experiencing the same feelings you are now. I'm sure there's a group out there designed to help woman that are in your position find their purpose. Good luck to you!

Answer 8

You will always be a mom, and your children will always need you, but as they grow older they will need you in different ways.  They will continue to need your love and support and encouragement and trust, but they won't need your active daily protection and assistance and involvement.

As they grow older and go out into the world to discover who they are and who they will be, so should you.  Being a mom from a young age postponed an important time of exploration and discovery for you.  Soon it will be your time, so start experimenting.  

Go to your local community college and sign up for some classes; check the rec center for fun classes.  Try everything at least once; you don't have to commit to it for more than a few months.  Who knows?  Maybe you'll discover a passion for Italian cooking or Japanese art or African music.  Maybe you'll find joy in dancing or accounting or literature or landscaping.  Maybe you'll be bored to tears in some classes, but at least it will give you a better idea of what you DON'T like.  

Keep your ears open for fun groups and events in your area.  Get involved in volunteer work for causes that are important to you.  Again, you don't have to commit, but maybe you'll discover a passion.  You won't know until you try.