What does forgiveness mean to you, any belief set...?

Question

Most people regardless of their beliefs can agree that forgiveness is a wonderful principle, but what do you think it entails? Do you believe that in order to truely forgive you have to be extra specially nice to a person, buddy up to them, act as though they had never done what you forgive them for? Or do you feel it's enough to just try not to think of payback, and definitely not act on any thought of it that does cross your mind, maybe even wish them well, without breaking your own back to foster that well-being?

Answer 1

I think something in between the two works best. Not thinking of retaliating is of course an essential step and the first one. And I think showing the person a measured amount of kindness will probably help clear the air.

There is one exception. If the person who has wronged you is a sociopath. People with this personality disorder have no remorse at all. Once they have done damage in a person's life, the wronged person needs to forgive them enough to not think of retaliating and get away from their poisonous influence as soon as possible.

I know it sounds terrible to say. But people like this do exist and the only way to live is to get away from them.

Answer 2

Forgiveness is just letting go of the grudges and giving that person a fresh and new chance. I will tell you it feels great to not have grudges and to find peace with that person, because then you find peace within yourself because you aren't carrying something so heavy and ugly as a grudge.

Forgiveness is difficult but it is well worth it. I have forgiven many people. I will talk to them, I will respect them, but many times I am very shy of them knowing that they can make the same mistake again

Answer 3

There are two forms of forgiveness - forgiveness for the person and forgiveness for yourself (Now i don't mean forgiving yourself for doing something)

The first form of forgiveness when you forgive someone else for doing something can only be given when they ask for it. Therefore if you had a friend who stole 20 dollars from you and they never apologized or asked for forgiveness - you cannot actually forgive them in this way. It's a mutual thing. If it becomes mutual then you can be friends again is not you'll just part ways.

The other form is to heal oneself. That person who stole 20 dollars and now won't speak to you because they won't admit they've done anything wrong. They were a good friend and this hurts you. If you hold on to it, it will hurt you more. So you forgive them in your mind and your heart so that you can move on and so it can no longer hurt you. It's in a way letting go. After this no, you do not have to be 'buddies' but its nice to be polite, but thats it.

Answer 4

I don't believe in the concept of forgiveness.  I believe I have a right to revenge any wrong done to me.  If someone punches me, i'm going to punch them back.  If someone stabs me in the back, i'll do the same. If they lied to me, I'll lie to them (or break promises made to them).

Actions like this, tells people not to s***w me over.  And it works.

If wrong has been done to you,

let thy wrong be known

and fall upon your enemies straight away.

Give to others as you see

them give to you

a gift begets a gift

pay back laughter with laughter

and lies with lies.

- Havamal

Answer 5

Forgiveness is really just permission after the fact.