What does gone cold mean and she has a boyfriend but tells me she has feelings for me?

Question

What does gone cold mean and she has a boyfriend but tells me she has feelings for me?

Hi, please help this girl has been in a relationship for 5 years and ive known her for about 1 month, every day we speak for ages until 1am and she tells me she if she split up with hery boyfriend she would ask me out, she also told me many times she has feelings for me, AND IF SHE WAS UNHAPPY IN HER RELATIONSHIP SHE WOULD ASK ME OUT, SHE ALSO SAID I REMIND HER OF HER CURRENT BOYFRIEND, HE WORKS LONG HOURS AND THEY DONT LIVE TOGETHER, she told me she likes the attention of men because in school she was overweight and now she is attractive, she told me that I have gone cold on her yesterday and if i be like this she will not speak to me again, please help what do I do?

She also once told me she has lots of guys every day asking to date her and asking for her number, she told me that guys stare at her in the street and want to date her. Im upset I dont know what to, she is a nice friendly girl, Thanks

we are all ages 23-24 years old

Answer 1

I say back off and leave her alone. Sounds to me like she is not sure what it is she wants and could get you caught up in something you dont want to be involved in

Answer 2

She sounds like trouble to me.

I generally find that if you're relying on a girl to split up with her current boyfriend before you can get what you want, then you probably want the wrong thing.

It sounds like she enjoys male attention (cf. her comment about her weight in the past) and you are someone willing to give it to her in spades. However it doesn't sound like she's unhappy with her current boyfriend, and you're not in a position to ask her to do so.

If she has low self esteem (which is very possible, her being a girl!), she'll cling onto anyone who can make her feel good about herself. Hence her willingness to talk to you on the phone for hours a day. BUT: Her low self-esteem means she's not going to risk leaving her current boyfriend which means you need to either:

a) wait patiently for things to get worse between them, then move in to pick up the pieces.

b) try and convince her that she's unhappy in her current relationship, suggesting things that might be less than perfect.

c) accept that nothing good can come of flirting with a girl in a relationship, unless you just enjoy the flirting and want nothing more from it.