What does he actually want from me??

Question

I was speaking to my ex (who dumped me) this evening and i brought up a guy who took me out..my ex then brought up this girl he likes. I told him the guy i met was nice and genuine and my ex replied saying maybe im just a **** then for dumping you. Later i asked him why he had even asked to meet me again while his family is away..he said because i wanted another chance and that he would give me a chance..nothing else. afterwards he said he was now considering changing his mind though cus i was going on and on about why he dumped me. Does this mean he actually wants to give me a chance or what? he also stayed up until 10:30 to speak to me when he said he would otherwise have gone to bed at 9? n he says the age gap is a problem im 16 hes 19?? im in the uk so im legal too..

Answer 1

id say he wants u back.. why else would he have contacted u again.

from my own experience guys dont tend to stay mates with ex's!

the age gap mite not be a problem to him but he mite have got stick of his mates cos ur younger than they are an as hes 19 he can out to the pub or clubbing where as when hes with you hes limited to what he can do as ur not yet 18.

brining up the guy would have made him jealous an the girl he brought up probably doesnt exist.

try meetin up with him.. sum where social but not like a date.

talk to him in person.. its easy to say stuff over the phone/txt/email but alot harder to say it to sum1s face cos u can usually tell if their being honest when its face to face.

failing that tell him to get lost.. he lost his chance when u broke up an now uve moved on so he shud too!

Answer 2

Okay first, you brought up a guy to him (bad idea)

Im sure that made him really jealous which is why he brought up the girl(which im sure doesnt exist) He probably mentioned a girl to make you jealous.

He DOES actually want to give you another chance. He is just being a typicall guy.

Plus an age gap? How is three years an age gap ? That weird that that bothers him.

Answer 3

Hello,

(ANS) I would say, after reading your posting that when relationships fail or fall apart there are frequently a really complicated mixture of emotions & motives on both sides.

**There are going to always be regrets i.e. if only I had said X or done Y may be he would have felt differently about me,etc

**I don't think its at all helpful given the present situation to chase after him, I think its time to cut your losses and let him go. Its his loss anyway as far as I can see.

**Men have a different emotional process to women, their emotional rhythm is often completely different from that of females. Many men don't have much emotional empathy or sympathy & that can lead to many misunderstandings.

**When a person is in their teens & twenties we are still really just learning about "who we are ourselves" and what relationships are all about and how they work. Therefore there are bound to be many starts & stops in relationships, ITS A LEARNING process at best. At worst its a very sad & painful hurtful learning.

**It sounds like you both had a good deal of uncertainty about each other? and about what you wanted from him & vica verse. Remember relationships are about getting deeper emotional needs met, & on that basis some people will be a better match for you than others. A sign of a successful relationship is the ability of the partner to full fill your needs.

Ivan

Answer 4

its not about what he wants its about what you want

Answer 5

I dont think i really followed the deatails of your question but from the general gist of it would say that you are better off distancing yourself from him.

The relationship will never wrok out if he is only 'giving you another chance' because you said you wanted one. If he doesnt want to be with you and doesnt love you then the foundations arnt strong enough to sustain a healthy long lasting relationship.

I never though I would sound so old but i have to to say also, s*x complicates matters very quickly, if your feeling confused and maybe a little vunerable then whether your legal or not s*x isn't going to achieve anything very positive.

I think you should have a little bit more self confidence and be an indpendant woman. Dont let your ex push and pull you around and let him him keep changing his mind about you. He is messing around with your feelings and your love and they are very precious things to give away to somebody who cant make his mind up about whether he wants them or not.

be brave and strong. get to a place where you dont need a man. That way the right man will be there because he wants to be not because he thinks you need him.

good luck hon, x

Answer 6

OH PALEEZE!!! He is a control freak! Let him go. don't meet with him or take his calls, just move on. He will forever be playing this game of dump her and watch as she comes crawling and begging for him to come back. Giving him a feeling of superiority and control. If you p**s him off he will dump you and then give in "just to make you happy" and take you back. Don't set yourself up for heartache and enable this abuser. All you will do is be forever the victim, demoralized depressed and miserable. If You found another guy that treats you with respect courtesy and affection then keep the prince and let the jerk go find another patsy for his ego games!