What does it mean, when?

Question

I was putting up with unpleasantness from Dad, and my mum's only answer was, " you should move out, I can't move, I'm married to him.." What does she mean, and what does it say, about the nature of marriage, that it's binding, and you can't leave it, that there's real estate and property involved, too?

Answer 1

Well, your mum gave it to you straight. Reading between the lines, I would say your dad is a lot worse than unpleasant. I can imagine that you are 24 or so. Take your mother's advice and take your time, but settle elsewheres just to get away from him. You will be happier. It plays on you all day long, doesn't it? He picks on you, rubbishes you

and belittles you in whatever way he can. He is not going to stop. He hurts your mum, too, by doing it. Why should you leave your home?

You'll be happier if you do. As things are going, you probably have no inclination to meet anybody of the opposite s*x to have romance in your life because of what negativity you are experiencing at home. I don't blame you.

But, even if you did, you wouldn't want to invite them home in case daddio decides to put on a show for whoever's benefit. And you know he would.

It is not cheap to live by yourself but look up "share-rentals" for your area on the Internet and you will find several. You can begin your own wonderful love life, too, as an added bonus. That would be impossible at home. You can always keep in touch with your mother to know that she is okay.

Okay, the answer you would want to ask is why should you move if she doesn't want to go with you? Simply, that's the way things are.

Consider the alternatives, if she were to go for divorce, would she really benefit? It is easiest to presume that your folks are just like most other folks, managing to get by with what they have and not super rich like on the movies.Well, that split down the middle gives two zeros.

Your mum still loves him. She remembers when things were fun and he made her tingle just to think of him. Her heart is so big that she forgives him. He may be afflicted with a fatal illness that he doesn't want anybody else, even you, to know about for reasons of his own.

Your mum loves you and she has given you what she considers to be the best advice she can.

Life doesn't balance out. It won't work if you try. You can go. Take it steady. Make friends when you do. Enjoy your new emancipation. It is not going to be easy but just do not make it hard.

All the best!

Answer 2

In the words of Shakespeare WEIRD!

Answer 3

she should see a solicitor  if there is abuse  involved.

Answer 4

err..

sounds like she's pissed off with your Dad and understands that you're putting up with him. She thinks that your luckier than her, as in soon you can just move out and get on with your own life while she's stuck with your dad.

Unless she was just joking around..

I'm not sure.

Good luck =] xx

Answer 5

The priest doesn't drone 'for better or for worse' for nothing. Your dad is probably having one of his worses.  

Answer 6

do what you can but seriously you can't just leave every time you have unpleasantness, you'll be moving your whole life. if it really bad do what is best for your physical and mental health, but if it is abuse than report it you might help your mom

Answer 7

i think she was joking.

but since you ask, i'll try to come up with some answer.

when one marries another it is considered a everlasting bond with each other. just like the priest says from sickness and poor blah blah blah. which is a responsiblity most married couples must keep.

of course you do have the option of divorce. but most are affraid of what comes from divorce. such as second thoughts, being alone again, and other emotional stress they must go through.

there is also the materialistic side to it, where one is afraid to loose their home or is unssure if he/she can afford the living expenses withouth the support of their spouse.

there are thousands of reasons you could come up with.

if you really want to know why don't you ask her yourself, everyone has their own reason.