What does it mean to be an "adoption advocate"?

Question

Let me be clear. I do think adoption is sometimes necessary. I don't think all APs or PAPs are evil, horrible people.

But to advocate for it sounds a little odd? In order to promote adoption, wouldn't we need more children being relinquished by (or abused and then taken away from) their original family? Adoption cannot take place without relinquishment. So advocating for adoption would seem to be advocating for either unwanted children, mothers giving birth to children that they cannot care for, or children being abused. How can anyone advocate for that? (I assume no one advocates for that. My question is, what could "adoption advocate" mean if not that?)

I have blocked no one, so bring on the answers.

Answer 1

Hi Phil,

I have heard "adoption advocate" used to mean several different things.  For instance, it's been used to refer to people who recruit babies for those who want them.  I have also heard that term used by professionals when referring to making the adoption process cheaper and faster.

I believe that adoption should center around the wants and needs of the CHILD, not the adults.  Therefore, I believe that true adoption advocates should be those who look out for the best interests of the child, not those of the prospective parents or APs.  Thanks for asking.

julie j

reunited adoptee

Answer 2

I too think you have asked a very interesting question.

I am also new to this, so please bear with me and my response.

I believe that to be considered an adoption advocate means that one would have to chose one option over the other.

That being said, I believe the options on this particular table would be "adoption" vs. "abortion".  I am in no way judging anyone in any choice they have made, one way or the other!

But, I am certainly blessed that my b-mom chose to give me a life with another family, rather than terminate my life and any chance of a reunion at all.

Answer 3

On this site "adoption advocate" would probably mean those who support adoption for children who need homes and family. It doesn't at all mean one supports relinquishment.

I don't think anyone advocates for relinquishment but the reality is that there is always going to be a need for adoption whether it be from foster care or a choice made by a birth mother who desires a certain lifestyle or environment for their child or who simply cannot, or chooses not to, parent.

Answer 4

I have seen pamphlets written from the POV of an "adoption advocates".  Some of the advice is for adoptive parents on how to deal with family, schools, whether or not to tell the child, forms, etc.  In those cases, I think "adoption advocate" is a misnomer.  I think that "adoptee advocate" might be more appropriate as there is some recognition that raising an adopted child is different than raising a biological child.

Some of the "adoption advocacy" stuff that I have seen is very defensive on the part of adoptive parents.  A lot is wrapped around pushing "positive adoption language" designed to diminish the role of the natural parents.

The National Council for Adoption (NCFA) openly advocates to separate parents from their infants.  They run training classes on "Infant Adoption Awareness" to train health workers to shove adoption down the throats of vulnerable mothers.  They are pushing hard to get into schools to teach young kids that "adoption is the loving option" as opposed to abortion and parenting.

ETA - and what Lillie said.  I am all for advocay that finds homes for children who are already here.

ETA - opedial wrote what I was trying to say.  Some adoption advocates work to remove stigma from adoptees.  I still think it is a misnomer.  Should be "adoptee advocates" so the focus is on the adopted person not the act of adoption.

Answer 5

Interesting question, Phil.  

I'm struggling to put my thoughts into words here, so forgive me if I come across incorrectly or "choppy" in my thoughts.  

I agree with you that people do not advocate for more relinquishment (or at least I hope not), however, I can see people who support "the choice of adoption" considering themselves an "advocate".   For example, I personally would NEVER advocate (promote) unnecessary relinquishment.  However, I would support adoption in cases where a child was in danger or when a bio parent truly wanted to choose that option.  

I also have caught myself referring to adoptees who are seeking reform as "adoption advocates".  Not necessarily supporters of the adoption system as it exists today, but people who are promoting the importance of steps to be taken in the process of adoption to make it better for future generations.  

I hope my answer doesn't sound too confusing - I'm just finding it hard to put my thoughts into words for this one.  : )

Answer 6

I don't advocate for Adoption but for the Children....and for the children in Foster Care waiting.... I also advocate for Post Adoption Support for families parenting Special Needs children...

***Added: CAM I suppose I miss the point on some thing... but, agree No One (here) or any place I have met in real life belives they should Advocate Adoption as an only option...or sieze babies.... Advocating for Open Records...Advocating for Good Laws that protect mothers from being conned... I support those who do this.... No Problem I agree....

Answer 7

Hi Phil,  I do understand what you are asking.  I believe the folks who use the term "advocate" mean that they advocate adoption when they see it as necessary.  The problem is, necessary gets defined in a variety of ways.

I think that people should be supported in raising their children if that is what they would prefer to do.  Splitting up families is not to be taken lightly, yet some don't seem to see a big deal in swapping children between families.  It is, however, a very big deal.  

If someone is abusing a child, of course the child needs to be protected.  That may ultimately mean the severing of parental rights, leaving that child available for adoption.  If parents really do not want to parent, then it's not in the best interest of the child for them to do so.  I will advocate for alternate family members to take the child at that point.  If that is not possible, stranger adoption should be the last choice.  

However, I don't believe society should advocate for people to place their children because the parents are young and/or don't have much money.  I believe that we should advocate for those who feel they cannot raise their children due to finances and age, but who would actually like to do so, to be supported in doing so.

ETA:

Thinking on it, I'd like to say that I like being an ADOPTEE advocate. For example, I advocate for equal treatment under the law for all adopted citizens.

Answer 8

An adoption advocate for me means someone who advocates for chldren in care who need homes.  It is to normalize and remove stimatization that adopted children are not less than.  To advocate adoption I think of advocating for adopted children and adopted families.  I don not think it is to advocatre the promtion of giving up children, but to advocate for the rights of those whose families have been formed in this manner.

Good question.

Answer 9

I thought an adoption advocate was someone who helped a family find a child, however, I found this article at adoption.com

Seminar on Adoption Advocates for Parents

"With many adoptive parents facing financial ruin as they struggle to care for their special-needs children, a local nonprofit agency is stepping in, teaching parents how to advocate for better family services"

another aspect of being an advocate for adoption

Answer 10

I agree with the others, in that an adoption advocate is someone who advocates for adoption from the foster care system.  Meaning, for kids whose parents' rights have already been terminated for whatever reason.

This is also the whole purpose of "National Adoption Month" - to highlight the importance of finding homes for those kids who already are in need of a home, not so much for bringing attention to separating children from their families if it's not necessary.

Answer 11

I assumed by the people using the term in here that it meant pro adoption, or pro adoption reform. I really wasn't sure, but am curious to see what answers you get.

Answer 12

IDK, but I guess someone who wants to see more perminate placements vs. temporary placement after temporary placement. Maybe one who fights for a womans (eta-parents) right to place. Or a person who acts on behalf of adoptees, infavor of reform or something. Thats what comes to mind when I hear it, but I honestly never heard that term before YA!.