What does it mean to be "just the baby's mama".?

Question

Ok, after asking a question (on yesterday) about how should I handle my unborn child's father, I have new questions. My unborn baby's father is not supportive of me through this pregnancy. Please go back a reference my previous question for more details. The moment that he discovered that I was pregnant he became very cold and mean toward me. Earlier today, I called him to ask him about the money that I loaned him. He is aware that I had to resign from my previous job due to medical reasons. I am now working only part-time and need him to repay the money. I am always praying that God touches his heart and that he become interested in the baby at least. Because of this, I called him from the hospital to tell him that I had acquired an Ultra Sound Photo. He did not appear to be interested. He only asked me about the gender and whether it was one or two babies. He once again mentioned to me that I am not his wife or girlfriend, but just the baby mama. I am not familiar with certain terms and do not understand what he is telling me. What does "just the baby mama" means. What should I expect of him? Should I seek his support during the pregnancy? Is it wrong for me to ask him to attend doctor's appointments with me? Is it wrong to ask him to help me with purchasing the baby items? Does this mean that he now has a change of heart and now desires to take care of his baby? Is it wrong for me to feel hurt because he has other women? Does “just the baby mama” means that I am totally worthless to him? Please help me out once again.

Answer 1

Basically "baby mama" means that you just have his child.  Mostly he won't be supporting you.  If this guy is such a jerk you need to leave him, find a support group and do it on your own.  If he has no interest in his child then s***w him.....  he's so not worth it!!  Good luck!

Answer 2

Just the baby momma means he does not want any kind of relationship/friendship with you.  It also means he probably wants none with the baby.

So he is "just the wallet".  He made this baby and he must support this baby.  But no one can force him to be there emotionally or physically (although he should do that to)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baby_mama

A baby mama (also baby-mama and baby-mother) is a mother who is not married to her child's father. The Oxford English Dictionary defines baby mama as "the mother of a man's child, who is not his wife or (in most cases) his current or exclusive partner".[1]

The term originated in Jamaican Creole as "baby-mother" (pronounced "biebi madda"), with the first printed usage appearing in the Kingston newspaper, 'The Daily Gleaner' in 1966.[1][2] Another Daily Gleaner use dates from November 21, 1989.[2] Peter L. Patrick, a linguistics professor who studies Jamaican English, has said of the terms baby mother and baby father, "[they] definitely imply there is not a marriage—not even a common-law marriage, but rather that the child is an 'outside' child".[1] The term "baby-mother" in Jamaica is most often used to describe any pregnant woman or any woman with a young child. For example on a crowded bus you may be admonished to give the "baby-mother" a seat. However in this case no judgement is being made about her marital status and literally means "the mother of the child".

Baby mother and baby mama had entered wide use in American hip-hop lyrics by the mid-1990s.[1] The Outkast song "Ms. Jackson", released in 2000, was dedicated to "all the baby mamas' mamas". American Idol winner Fantasia Barrino released a song entitled "Baby Mama" in 2004. Planet Earth, an album by Prince released in 2007, features a song called "Future Baby Mama".

Originally, the term was used by the fathers of children born out of wedlock to describe the mothers of their children, but the term is now in general use to describe any single mother. Since entering currency in U.S. tabloids, the terms baby mama and baby daddy have even begun to be applied to married and engaged celebrities.[1] In 2008, Universal Pictures released a comedy entitled Baby Mama starring Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Poehler plays a woman Fey hires to be her surrogate.

Answer 3

sounds like he has moved on from you... from the sound of it you shouldnt be too broke up about it. he doesnt seem to be a great guy if you ask me. i would interpret "just the babys mama" from him to mean that he probably wont be involved in your pregnancy and probably wont help you until you have a court order for him to pay support. hopefully he wont feel this way toward the baby too though. hopefully he will love his child atleast.

dont be too down about it... being JUST the babys mom has its perks. you are the one the baby will look to for comfort and support. you are the one that will be putting in all the late night hours and changing the dirty diapers, but that wont go un rewarded. your baby will have a great bond with you. you can never be JUST the babys mom.. you are the babys mom, but you are so much more than that. (for the baby.) dont forget it.

Answer 4

it means your not together, but you had his baby..

Answer 5

well it means that you need to get some support from the state cuz the dad is not going to do it. then when you have the baby hit him up for child support. you need to just get over the fact that he dont care about you, and start running his pockets, cuz thats the only way you will get any help from him...by the way next time try not to get knocked up by someone that is not that into you. that will prevent all this in the first place

Answer 6

Him telling you that you are "just the baby mama" means that he doesn't want a relationship with you and he doesn't sound like he wants a relationship with the baby.  From one single mom to a soon-to-be single mom, I can tell you that if you are smart you should count on him for nothing.  If he wants to be involved, he needs to let you know.  You are legally entitled to child support and you should pursue that as soon as the baby is born, but don't expect anything else from him and you will be better off.

Answer 7

He told it to you straight. You should have no questions. You are just the mother of his baby. Not his girlfriend. Not his wife. Just a lady with his baby. He's telling you not to get your hopes up. He apparently doesn't want to be with you, and the baby only complicating things. I'm sorry that you are in such an unfortunate situation. But it will only make you stronger.

Answer 8

it means that he does not see you as anything but the babys mum and that is it so in other words he doesnt see you as ever been his girlfriend or anything like that, just tell him when th appointments are and if he turns up good if not it is him that loses out on seeing a beuituful child growing up, he prob like the attension of you ringing him all the time dont give him the satisfaction, good luck

Answer 9

Unfortunately, he is a jerk and is pretty much saying that to him you are just an incubator for his child. Don't chase him and try to make him be a figure in your child's life. You and your baby deserve better treatment. However, once the baby is born, take him to court for child support. Just because he doesn't want the responsibility of being a father does not mean he can leave you to be the only one to care for the child he helped bring into this world. Hang in there, you will be ok and  much better off with out him.

Answer 10

No its not wrong of you to ask this but realize you won't get any help.  He is only going to give money when it is court ordered.  Its not because he wants to because he doesn't.  He doesn't care for you so I can't see how he can really care all that much about a child being raised by you.  Not to come down on you but just for everyone who reads this please be careful who you make children with because it will affect the child.

Answer 11

You can ask him to help you all day long and pay you back as well but this "man" is not interested in helping you or being a part of this process.  "Just the baby mama" means just that you are nothing more to him than an incubator for his child.

Answer 12

It just simply means you are not together but your going to have his child. He seems like a complete a*****e. He may not want to help & be in the babys life. If thats the case you will never get anything fro him unless you take him to court for child support and thats deff what I would do if I were in your shoes.

Answer 13

Ok, I was with a guy that I was pregnant to.... 4 months later I lost the baby plus him. Ok I was only a baby mama too him. I was nothing!!!! He didn't love me, nor when I was pregnant. NEVER WILL. He broke up with me, and now I have to look at his ****** face EVERYDAY!! So please watch yourself and your baby. He was Latino, and they use women for babys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 14

he is saying that the child he will support some what but you are nothing to him and all your doing is caring a child he does not seem to want. you need to separate from him completely he will just hurt you. He seems selfish and cold and stop trying to make him care he doesn't. I don't think the child needs that kind of person that needs to be pushed on him/her. Hurtful people are possible they usually never change.

Answer 15

He means that you two are not a 'couple', you are the mother to his unborn child, but nothing else.

What a jerk.

Answer 16

sounds like you chose quite a guy to have a baby with.  but anyways, what is done is done.  He is making it clear that he does not want any kind of relationship with you, I don't think he wants any kind of relationship with the baby either by the sounds of it.  You cannot force him to bond with the baby, unfortunately guys get off far too easy in this cases.  It's not like you have a choice as to how involved you want to be. That doesn't mean that he gets off scott free.  I would absolutely make him responsible financially,  It is the least he can do, and if he is not willing to do it on his own, (which I suspect he won't be) then you may have to pursue it legally.   Don't allow him to walk away from his responsibilities, if he can unzip his pants, then he can pay the consequences.  However give up all hope of having a relationship with him, besides, from what you've said, he sounds like an awful, selfish person.  You should not want to be with someone like that anyway.