What does it mean when he tells i'm falling for you? but i'm really scared b/c he goes out alot?

Question

This guy and I are 23 years old. We've had our share of painful relationships in the past, but this time, we feel like it's so different. It's incredible. We've been only talking to each other for 2 weeks and we already have a strong connection. I know 2 weeks is short, but the connection we have cannot be explained. It feels like we've known each other for ever. We talk to each other every single day for hours and hours especially b/c it's long distance. We know long distance relationships doesnt work out and there will be a lot of issues involved, but we are aware of this yet we are so willing to try. Yesterday he tells me he's crazy about me, and asks me if i think it's weird since it's been only a short period of time. He tells me he's falling for me and feels like fate brought us together b/c God always has a reason. He says he feels like we're meant to be etc..and hopes I feel the same way and if I don't I should tell him. He says he's going to try to overcome this long distance and will show it through actions. We;re also both students so he said he's going to try his best so he can go to graduate school near me. He said he's never been happier. He tells me not to go away and he promises me he wont ever hurt me. What does it clearly mean if he says he's falling for me? I know it's not love yet, but what is it...?

he also says he knows that i'm going to be the mother of his children later meaning he's going to marry me (NO, HE DOESNT HAVE CHILDREN RIGHT NOW, NEVER MARRIED). i tell him isn't it too fast that he's thinking all this, but he says if he knows he knows, and i'm one in a billion, he doesnt want to ever lose me...

he said he knows it sounds all crazy b/c it is quite fast and he never expected this, but i am perfect for him. he says i complete him. we just have to work together on this relationship. he tells me everyday hes falling deeply for me, he likes me so much, but hasnt said i love you yet...is he getting there?

also i know we are both very young, but he and i have different personalities. he's very outgoing, social butterfly, goes out alot, parties etc.

i'm quiet, laid back, just like to enjoy quiet time with friends. i guess that is what makes us a good match. however, when i hear that he is going out with his friends to clubs b/c of his friends birthdays, i get jealous. i guess it is b/c i'm not there with him, and he tells me i shouldnt get jealous b/c im the only one for him, but i feel a little insecure about it. i told him i dont like him going out to clubs but he said i shouldnt worry b/c he wont think of other girls since he has me. what can i do....i dont want to be hurt again like how my ex bf hurt me befoere...

Answer 1

You're smart to recognize that it's not love yet.  It sounds like infatuation.  That's not too bad; it can turn into love if you two spend enough time together.  Love takes time to root, grow and develop.

Everything is great right now because, well, you've only know each other for a couple of weeks and you haven't spent that much time together.  He has you on a pedestal; he's not seen any of your faults, nor have you experienced his yet.  (We all have them.)

This high adrenaline rush, excitement and energy you're both feeling now typically lasts 18-24 months when you're together.  Since you two are apart, it could last a little longer.

You are wise not to rush into this blindly.  It doesn't mean that it won't work out--it very well could.  I know you really want it to (and who wouldn't?), but try not to get so entangled in the romantic talk.  Be a little more practical and realistic or you could easly step over into relationship fantasyland.  The "other shoe" could still be poised to drop, if you know what I mean.  You're going to have to be the grounded one, because he's clearly ga-ga over you.

Wait until you two can see each other and spend time together on a regular basis.  In the meantime, don't get to bent out of shape when he goes out.  For him to be well-balanced, he needs to have a life.  If he didn't, he'd be in his room growing obsessive and that's not healthy.  If he happens to encounter and fall for another woman when he's out, well, then, it would be better to know that sooner rather than later, wouldn't it?

Answer 2

PLAYER! Plain and simple, he's using you and setting you up and leading you on. Now, he may be just immature enough that he doesn't fully realize what he's doing to you, but that's the bottom line, believe me. Concentrate on your studies and keep your head clear. Tell him you want to take it much slower, (really, it's very weird that he's saying these things.) There could be issues like control and anger with someone like him. Keep your options open, you're still so young and have your whole life ahead of you. Hit the books and stay off the phone so much.  Don't sit around and miss out on life because he's saying this stuff to you. He wants to tie you down and control you, you must be able to see that, without even being with you. What will it be like if you two get together? I would be worried about that if I was you.

Answer 3

Well my dear.

I am reading a ton of stuff describing how he feels.

But I don't see anything about how you feel about him.

Do you feel the same way he does?

I know you talk for hours, and you are overwhelmed by how he feels about you, but you don't say anything about if you feel the same.

This "connection" you talk about, could it be just very good friendship?

Do you see yourself mothering his children?

Something like this where marriage is mentioned needs to be felt equally on both sides, him and you.

He is raving about you, telling you how great you are and how he thinks his relationship with you is now a life long committment.

If you don't feel the same way, you better speak up before you find yourself in a situation you don't want to be in and have to hurt his feelings bad