What does my family do?

Question

My son is about to start school next week and we just got back from our parent teacher meeting. This year there is a child in school that has an allergy to nuts/tree nuts. Therefore all nut products are banned from school. No big deal, we aren't big peanut butter eaters and my son prefers cream cheese and jelly sandwiches. So it will not be a problem at all. But this part is. The parents of this child are now demanding that we not eat any peanut products or products manufactured in a plant that manufacture nut products. These people are actually telling us how to eat in our own homes. If I want to bake a batch of chocolate chip cookies for an after school snack for my kids, I can't. If I eat a granola bar before picking up my son from school I have to shower and change clothes. These parents are refusing any type of compromise regarding the peanut products at home.

Now there is another family saying that their child is allergic to milk/wheat, they now want to ban dairy products and wheat products from lunch.

Another parent has a child severely allergic to pet dander from cats/dogs, and want families to now put their children's school clothing in plastic bags and also put their backpacks in bags as well so their child doesn't get exposed to pet hair.

What are we supposed to do? I am all for protecting these kids, but is this going too far? I have two children that I am responsible for and now I'm responsible for the health and well being of all of these others. What am I supposed to do? If I send the wrong thing to school I can kill someone, and now I am responsible for that.

Do you think that maybe we should home school our children so that something they eat doesn't kill someone? What should we do?

Answer 1

For starters, My niece is allergic to peanuts and imablaze-you can die from it-same as people who are allergic to bees. So I am all for the peanuts being banned AT SCHOOL. At home, no-that is your business.

As far as the wheat/milk/pets-you can not do that.That is nuts.

Answer 2

there is absolutely no way that the school/superintendents office will grant this request. i can understand the no nut thing, or not cooking on things that contained it. alot of schools, including mine, do that. allergies to nuts have become a big thing nowadays. and like you said-no big deal, you can give it to him at home.

as far as anything else you said, that is a violation of privacy, and rights. what are they goinf to do?? stop you at the door and say: did you shower after that granola nut bar???  and milk is a needed source of calcium-alot of kids need more than others.

if anything, the school might have to do something special to accomodate these children, just like they do for hadicapped children (not that i am saying they are, just using that as an example)

there is no way the school has the time or money to check parents for these things. milk has been the national school drink for over 50 years-they aren't going to stop that because of some child that is lactose intolerant-his parents will have to make his lunch, period.

if it makes you feel bettter, make sure you watch the local paper and school newsletter for any kind of public meeting they would have on this, and regardless of what happens tell the principle your opinion, or even write a letter. good luck, but i seriously wouldn't worry about it at all!!  

Answer 3

Wow, yeah, that is pretty crazy, if it that bad, the student should be homeschooled, not all the rest of the kids.Not having peanuts or peanut butter at school is ok I guess, but the rest is just absurd.Where do they go to school?

Answer 4

Are you serious?

I can understand the peanut allergy, but all these other parents need to relax.  You should relax too.  Just don't send peanut anything in your kids lunch and be good with it.  How are they going to know what you eat in your home?  They won't.

I personally feel if a child's allergies are THAT bad (case by case of course), that their parents should homeschool them.

Answer 5

Dont send any of the allergenic stuff to school, but do whatever you like at home. They can't stop you from doing anything. Seriously though. Who the heck do these people think they are?????

Answer 6

They have no right to tell you what you can and can do at home.  That is violating civil rights and won't fly.

Answer 7

What are they going to do? Demand to be let into your home to see if you're doing what they want? No. You can do whatever you like in your house. Just don't give your kids peanuts to take to school and no one will say anything. They can't tell you what to do in your own home. I wouldn't change schools because of this. Just continue living your life and ignore the crazies.  

Answer 8

I would approach the school principal about it.  If that doesn't work, I'd go to a school board meeting.  It's a good idea to get a few parents together that agree with you too.  I can understand not bringing peanut products to school and to even be careful with what snacks are brought in.  But, dictating what you eat at home is ridiculous.  How would they even know that you are doing it?  And if they think you are, are they stopping all the other precautions they should be responsible for?  Sounds like a dangerous situation to me.  I don't think they can really ban dairy and wheat and nuts from lunches.  What the heck are you going to eat?  The kids need a separate table to eat at.  That's how they've done it most schools we've gone too.  I think they are more careful about the nut allergies since a reaction is usually extremely quick and potentially deadly.  I've never heard of a pet hair allergy being deadly.  The milk and wheat I'm not sure about.  Maybe you can research some info on it before you go to the school or ask you doctor to help you with some facts.  If it doesn't work, I think it wouldn't hurt to consult a lawyer.  I know homeschooling would kind of solve your situation, but I think there's got to be other parents that think this is crossing the line.  Sometimes you just need one person to stand up and say something.  

Answer 9

You can do what you like in your own home. These parents are being unreasonable. It's perfectly fine to ban all nuts/nut products from the school, but they can't tell you how to live your life. I'd think about changing schools if I were you, since the school doesn't seem to have any qualms about appeasing these psychotic parents.

Answer 10

It should be those other parents that home school their children. NOT you home schooling yours. Its a public school right?

all those other parents should put their kids in a bubble and watch them constantly.  

Answer 11

I believe that it is very important for these parents to teach their children how to properly care for their special needs. It CAN be done from a young age-my son had a best friend who was diagnosed with diabetes as a toddler. At 4-5, he could tell you what he could and could not have, and cook test his own blood sugar (when he got frustrated with me because I was nervous about sticking him).

While I could see prohibiting peanut products in the classroom, the demands for home are outrageous. Yes, in these cases it would be best for the children to be homeschooled if their needs are that severe. Do they not take these children to a public playground, Wal Mart, etc. where they might run into someone that just had a peanut butter cookie or has a pet?

I do appreciate their position, but encroaching on one's home life is going beyond reasonable. They can not enforce it, so never mind whatever demands they make. I would print up the laws regarding homeschooling (you can find them at http://www.HSLDA.org) and hand it out if they continue to be so uncompromising.

If you do decide to homeschool YOUR children, contact me (you can email me via my profile) and/or Yahoo! has a homeschool section here under the Education and Reference tab.

I wish you the best!

Answer 12

That is a HUGE overkill. I can see the ban on peanuts, but everything else is outrageous. You shouldnt be told what you can eat at home or oustide of the school at all for that matter. As for the pets allergies their expectations are ridiculous. There are stray cats and dogs running all over the place are the parents gonna protect their kids from them too?

Answer 13

ok we all had allergies growing up, but our parents sent us to school and i never heard of anyone dyin because their best friend ate a PB&J sandwich beside em...its hard enough raising your own kids without the worry of other peoples. if they have that much concern then keep em home...put em in a bubble and let them watch life pass em by.

Answer 14

I'm a teacher, so I have a behind-the-scenes opinion to share.  

Banning nuts is common and I think everyone agrees it is a reasonable request.  The rest is not.  What you should do really depends on how far you want to press the issue.  

You could simply disregard their requests and live your life.  Or you could approach the principal, who is most definitely already aware of the situation (even if s/he pretends not to be).  If the principal supports the crazies, you could then approach the superintendent or the board.  Problem is, once you start stirring the pot, regulations start falling into place.  Regulations are usually a bad thing.  People will come out of the woodwork (like is happening at your school) saying, "My kid needs this special accommodation..." which will force the board to create policy after policy.  You then have less freedom.  

So I recommend taking the "grin and bear it" approach.  Put on a happy, compliant face.  Be observant of the nut ban and tell your kids not to roll their backpacks in piles of dander (haha) - but live your life.

Perhaps I should mention I'm a believe in "survival of the fittest".  I don't even put my child in one of those can't-touch-a-single-germ cloth grocery cart covers <gasp>!  I believe in reasonable protection (wearing helmets, getting time-proven vaccines - not the new c**p like HPV - caring for illnesses like diabetes, heck- maybe even the occasional cleansing wipe on a grocery cart!), but also in letting kids and families live their lives without fear of death.  I don't keep my kids out of sports for fear they might get injured or drop dead on the court.  I let my kids climb on top of the monkey bars.  I even let them fall over time and time again when they're learning to walk!!!  I guess I'm a bad mother.

Stupid overprotective society.  

Answer 15

Okay the no peanut rule  in school I can understand... but the rest of it is just absurd.  How could they possibly enforce what you eat at home anyway.  Also the peanut allergy is deadly, while the pet dander allergy will cause sneezing and coughing - I really think that one is way out of line.