What dou u think of my essay?

Question

Lessons that I have learned

Throughout my whole life I have learned many lessons some are good and few are bad. The lessons that I have learned have helped me too become I person I am now. Manny lessons are hard to overcome, however you have to face them and accept the result off them. The again some lessons may be hard and make time to overcome them and learn from them. The experiences that I have gone through are not that bad but they have taught me a good lesson.

One lesson that I have never forgotten was when I got kicked out from Vikings high school for ditching. The reason I had problems in school and the best way to avoid them was by not going to school and going with the friends. Well schools dean called my house and told my parents” your son Andres Gutierrez hasn’t attended school for a month are you guys aware of this situation”. So the principle sent me to another school all the way to Hollywood. Now I had to wake up early in the morning and take the bus to school, I had to wake up at five in the morning and take the bus to school at five thirty. The lesson that I learned was, the result of not facing my problems in school and talk about them result of me getting kicked out of school and not begin with my real friends.

An additional lesson that I have experienced was when I went to go play soccer with my team rather to go to work. It was a Saturday and I had to work from nine in the morning too six o’clock pm. Well the game was at ten in the morning so I left home around eight thirty, the game ended at twelve so I got home around two o’clock. I was planning to go at five to work and tell my boss that I thought I was scheduled from five to ten, so I told him my story that I saw five to ten in the schedule that day before. My boss ended up telling me “, go home and you’re suspended for the week,” because someone had told him I went to play. When I got home from work and my sister was getting there also and she told me that they called from work and she told them that I had gone to play a game. So I ended up not working for the week and didn’t have money either, plus I forgot to tell my sister to not answer the phone if they called from my work.

This is a lesson that my friend Julio learned the hard way ending up in the hospital. Well one day my friend Julio text me “pick me up in the back of the school,” so I went o go pick him up like a good friend. So I get to his school right and I see him jump the fence, but when he jumped it he fell so I laughed nonstop. Then I heard him scream in pain so to see if he was faking, it ended up that he broke is ankle. So I got him in the car and took him to the hospital so they could heal him. The doctor ended up fixing him and a week later he had surgery. He told his parents and the doctors that he was playing football in lunch and his foot got stuck and they tackled him. He ended up staying at home for a month and having the cast for six moths.

I believe that all the lessons that people go through in life are for a reason. So it could make you a better person and prepare you for the future to come. You could also pass on your experience to other people or even help them to overcome their problems.

Answer 1

Apart from a few errors in punctuation, sentence structure and paragraph breaks which would look better with a blank line, this is a good attempt. It sounds like a confession you might make to a priest, and from your name one assumes you are probably Catholic.

You are convincing in what you are trying to say, being open and candid about your mistakes and the lessons you say you have learned from them. Maybe you should summarize what mistakes you made, the lessons you learned and why you won't repeat the same errors of judgment, which could include how you want people to think of you as a person.