What easy steps can I take to prove my husband's infidelity if I have to take him to court?

Question

This is hard but I just want to be prepared if it gets bad. He is an awesome father and good husband. He treats me well and is a good provider. Unfortunately, I think he is cheating on me again. I forgave him once when we were two years married. And now at 14 years of marriage, I think he is doing it again. All I have is a voicemail from the other woman, where she says I love you and miss you and cant get enough of you....Anyway, I am also worried about my financials since he makes 3 times what I make and we have two children. Confused on what to do....I actually saw ourserlves growing old together, but now with this again, I am not sure I can forgive him again...I love being married but need to respect myself as well and not let this happen again....Suggestions/comments please.

Answer 1

you know what that really sucks! why did you stay with him if he cheated on you once already? I am very sorry to say but when he did that the very first time you should have stood your ground and left and you have unfortunatly set yourself up to be cheated on again! Be strong and know that whatever love you have for ur current cheating hubby you can have for a good man that will be faithful to you and love you truly! I wish you strength and selfmotivation to get up and stand up to yourself! I really think that if he didnt like his relationship he should have been a real man and not a coward and stood up and told you i have found someone else or whatever it may be not act like a cheating jerk!

Answer 2

Each State has it's own divorce laws, so nobody can give you a perfect answer (best to ask a lawyer).  However, a good number of States though are "no fault", which means they don't give a c**p about the reason of the divorce (adultry) and it won't play a part in the settlement.  

If you are thinking about a "divorce", than before you pull the trigger put aside some of that marital money to pay for a lawyer BEFORE he finds out and tries to cut you off from the cash.  He will try to leverage himself into a better position by getting a lawyer and hoping you are stupid (or broke) and enter into Court with-out a good divorce lawyer.  

Answer 3

If the relationship is all good as you say, except for the infidelity, then maybe you should consider marriage counseling. This sort of thing doesn't just happen unless something is missing in the relationship. You might want to evaluate (with or without counseling) whether or not you are sexually compatible.

When it comes to marriage, playing the blame game gets you no where. You have children together and he treats you well in every other way, but obviously you don't want to see this continue.

In a divorce the only people who make out are the lawyers. It sounds like you have a lot to work with as far as the relationship goes, he's not abusive and he's a good father. The cheating is just a symtom of something that is missing, nothing more. I will probably get a lot of flack for saying this, but there are worse things in life. Get help, talk to him one on one, be open minded, and I think you will get a more satifactory result.

It's most likely that he loves you but, doesn't know, or is afraid to tell you certain things about what he needs or wants. Keep it open so he can tell you what's really going on inside himself, make it safe to say anything. you will probably be surprised by what you hear, but at least you will find out what you need to know so that the two of you can work on getting your relationship where you want it, or perhaps you will both find that, you can modify how you believe the relationship "should" be. The important thing is to be on the same page, no matter how things change, and change is inevitable, so be flexible.

I hope this helps you, and good luck on your journey

  

Answer 4

In the state where I live it would be 50/50 and a waste of money trying to prove that.

Answer 5

You have some important decisions to make....and they are not easy ones.   14 years of marriage and children  is a long time to just walk out.  But you do need to demand respect and honesty. You may not be able to ever trust him and you have to decide if a relationship without trust is for you or not.  Your marriage is damaged now no matter what.  Your relationship has been changed now forever.  It will not be the same.  

You need to get a very good marriage therapist.  Even if he wont go, you go. Your self esteem is at an all time low.  You need a profesional to help you sort things out.  This is not a decision your friends or family should help you make, you need to see a professional.  Make sure it is a psychologist or psychiatrist not a MSW or other lower level counseling degree.  

Good luck and do something for you today like a nice warm long bubble bath.  If you have time read these websites....