What effects could food have on my unborn child?

Question

I believe I might be pregnant. I look a litter rounder at the waist and being a devoted catholic I appear to be the 2nd immaculate conception.

However this morning as I took my third coffee and cigarette I began to worry what effect my diet might have on my baby. I heard someone say you can't have nuts while pregnant. I love nuts, is it true?

Answer 1

The Immaculate Conception does not refer to the Virgin Birth..if you are a devout Catholic you'd know this!  

Answer 2

Coffee, Rosy?  Whatever has got into you, it has settled in your brain and not your uterus.  See a doctor immediately for a teamination.

Answer 3

"being a devoted catholic I appear to be the 2nd immaculate conception."

are you trying to say you haven't had s*x?!  because come on, theres no way your pregnant then!

if not, i ate nuts when i was pregnant. its not recommended in case of allergies. but there is no history of nut allergies in mine or my partners  family.

too much coffee isn'tt recommended, and i think you should know the affects of smoking....

Answer 4

Supplement, Supplement, Supplement! It's quite clear from your description that a baby is impending. The bloating, the worry, the cravings for nuts. It's no wonder, with you being such a fertile beast. I'm sure an evening involving a smooth chocolate mousse had something to do with it. Let's concern ourselves about the spawn's origin later; right now you must focus on creating a hospitable environment for the laddie. Whatever has been your dietary regiment before today, you must double to account for the parasitic miracle that is feeding and growing within you. I've never encountered this myself, but I've seen it in a movie. You'll be craving the usual, rare steaks and chicken hearts, liver and such. Just as long as you supplement with a little garlic and echinacea, the vodka and cigarettes shouldn't have any negative effects.

Beijos!

Answer 5

You can't claim immaculate conception just because you don't remember the drunken s*x. Too many of us could claim divine paternity if that were the case. As for nuts - eat all you like! Unless of course you're severely allergic, in which case - avoid at all costs! Hangover is best avoided by drinking a glass of water and orange juice and taking an aspirin at bedtime or just prior to passing out. Coffee may upset your tummy. Do try to cut down to no more than 2 cups/day during pregnancy.

Of course, the rounder tummy could just be from overindulgence.

Good luck in either event!!!

Answer 6

there is no such thing as immaculate conception either you had s*x and got popped or you are as crazy as your picture looks

Answer 7

Madam, I believe the nut argument to be bogus.  How must monkeys carry on, if not eating the brazil nuts or monkey nuts?  Perhaps during gestation, they scoff quiche instead.

However, I digress.  You may eat whatever you like, apart from cigarettes.  Especially if they are lit.

p.s. good luck in finding three wise men.

Answer 8

This is hilarious!  Thanks for the laughs and points! No need for a serious answer.

Answer 9

You'll be ok. Just eat out at fast food everyday all day and your baby will be nice and fat.

Answer 10

Though the details make me a bit exasperated on this question, I'll answer it anyway. Yes, you can eat nuts. You should be more worried about the coffee and cigarettes.

Answer 11

It was nuts that got you in this situation my dear.  However, food is the least of your problems. I predict you will be turned away from the maternity ward due to lack of space, and have to deliver the messiah in a barn. Not only this but you will need an as$ to take you there (your husband should make sure he is available).  Toodle pip.