What else can i say to her.....?

Question

i've been chatting to this girl for ages we met about a year ago then lost contact but have started talking again. we've both admitted to liking eachother not just a small amount like she's even asked me to come out to my mum (no way am i doing that till im 16) well there's one problem she had a past relationship that went horribly wrong she lost her virginity to him an all so as you can imagine it was heartbreaking for her BUT now if someone says 'i love you' to her she literally back tracks the situation and pretends it didn't happen and she tells me not to say it. Also she wants to meet up and watch movies together is this a good idea? i meen im in my last year in school but i don't want any of my friends finding out who and what i like and especially if i'm going out with a girl (all girls catholic school not at all permitted to tell people your sexuality) so anyone got any ideas of how i can sort this situation out and make her realise i would never hurt her?and that i think i actually love her?

i hate the word 'love' coz its so overrated but i feel so strongly towards her its hard to ignore the situation.

any advice would help! thanks in advance x

Answer 1

You're not permitted to tell people your sexuality?  That's crazy.

I don't see why you shouldn't hang out.  You have to just give her time to realize that there are people that can be trusted.  Let her make the moves so that she feels like she's in control of the situation and that you aren't just trying to get with her or something.  People aren't going to know you're g*y if you're just hanging out, and you don't have to tell them if you're doing more.

Answer 2

Why are you ashamed of who you are? Who cares who knows at your school, they cannot actually punish you for it, anyways just tell her how much she means to you and care for her etc.

Answer 3

so you're not yet 16 but you're in your last year of school?  i assume, then, that you'll be going to a different school next year.  sounds to me like a waiting game. every one gets hurt in a relationship gone bad. but for her to keep you from saying 'i love you' means either she just doesn't want that kind of commitment or she's not yet capable of realizing what a relationship is all about.

i think going to the movies is ok - treat it like a gurl's night out or something.  in my opinion, you should avoid even thinking about love, since that's something that develops over time with trust and security in the relationship - that's my opinion. so to that extent, she's right - you shouldn't say it - probably even to yourself - until things are sorted out.

you can never say 'i'll never hurt you' - you may mean it, but in all relationships there's some give and take and pain is part of the process.