What exactly does a man mean when he says he needs "space"?

Question

I met a man through a well known on line dating website. We conversed back and forth on line for a while until we felt comfortable. We started talking on the phone more and more and found we both shared an enthusiasm for wanting to meet in person. We text messaged each other several times a day up until we met. That Friday night was magical. We sat and talked for 5 hrs about life, about loving and losing, about our previous spouses and the roles they played in our kids' lives, and most importantly about our faiths. It was a refreshing type of intimacy..nothing sexual, but rather deep and emotional. When we finally said goodnight, we couldn't wait to see each other again. So we met two days later and the excitement was still there. He suggested we take my two year old son out for pizza and ice cream. We did and he kept remarking about how incredible my little guy was. He also remarked that he was honored to get to know him because he was such a loving, well behaved child. After we finished the ice cream, we said goodnight and he went home. That is when it changed. He stopped calling. When I finally got a hold of him, he told me he couldn't get my son off his mind and that he had prayed several times that my son and his father could develop a better relationship. I explained that I had tried effortlessly for over 2 years and that it wasn't happening. He then told me he felt strongly about that and it was more important than our relationship and that he needed space. He also said maybe we would have the future but I needed to work on this for my son's sake first. I have absolutely no idea what to think except that I know I have walked around in a fog for days and have never felt so kicked in the gut as I have since then.

Answer 1

Hi Mom,

  Sorry Dear but he is wanting his space and he wants to call off being together or friends.I know it hurts but better he does it now and wait until you got really serious over him My Friend.Try to find someone who isn't afraid of getting into a relationship with you and also your son.

Good Luck and don't worry you will be fine.

Your Friend,

poppy1

Answer 2

To me ...it makes me think that he is trying to find a easy way to blow you off. To say he is really not intrested . If I were you I would not try to call him. Not to be mean but don't make that effort in someone when he is not trying to do the same toward you. Good Luck to you  

Answer 3

Sounds like a nut job. Run!

Answer 4

no comment fr wife

Answer 5

didn't even read the rest of your question, just the title... he broke it off w/ you, dear.  start getting over him.  

Answer 6

You described an absolute gentleman, who after seeing your child and spending time with both of you,was able to give more serious thought to the relationship, and put your son before the relationship.  It would have been awful had he not said anything. Sounds like you got lucky actually.  I think most guys would wait, until it's too late and way more painful. I hope you feel better soon.

Answer 7

First of all, as a father he probably sees the merits of having a true role in his child's life and he can probably see himself waltzing in to fill that with your son.  However, he feels guilty for stealing that from your ex.  He sounds like a really nice guy and all.  It sounds like you're both religious, which is cool for you, and that may have something to do with that.  He may feel guilty about wanting to be a better father than your son's dad is, and wind up making him  hate his dad.  Give him some time, and try to keep in contact.  Maybe no more outings, but you can still talk online and keep each other updated and learn more about each other, which isn't a bad thing when you have children to consider.  

Answer 8

Sounds like he's not ready to be a daddy, and even though it hurt, at least it didn't go on long enough for the breakup to hurt your son...  I know that's probably not a BIG consolation, but still...