What football headlines WON'T you be seeing next season ?

Question

@ff..........loooool

Answer 1

liverpool wins title and tempts cristiano ronaldo to join them

Answer 2

Arsenal ends three year trophy drought

Scolari promises NOT to spend above £5m in the next transfer window

Benitez to fans: "I will stop rotating"

Alex Ferguson thinks Rafa has done a good job with Liverpool

Man City top of the league for 5weeks straight...

Answer 3

Messi joins Arsenal

Answer 4

"Ferguson and Wenger praise referee"

Answer 5

Sir Alex a week sober

Answer 6

Rafa Benitez tipped to be Sir Alex Ferguson's successor

Answer 7

"Cristiano Ronaldo FINALLY decides who he wants to play for"

Answer 8

liverpond's miracle to beat the odds of winning the premier league for the first time since 1989

Answer 9

We won't be seeing this:Liverpool look set to win their 1st Premiership Crown.

"Arsene Wenger passed by my school the other day"

"Sir Alex will stay for a couple more years."

Answer 10

"Manchester United survives the group stages of CL"

Answer 11

"manchester wins the premiership once again"

"ronaldo wants to stay in manchester united for another season"

Answer 12

"Manchester utd win title again!!"

"Rafa decided to stop eating all those Mcdonald"

"Arsenal fall short again for the 2nd time"

"Tottenham get the 4th spot of champions league" (lol)

Answer 13

"Abramovich decalres himself bankrupt"

Answer 14

"Spurs finish in the top 10"  

Answer 15

England played a good passing game...

Answer 16

"Benitez decides to drop rotation policy after disaster at Cottage"

"Benitez given 50 million war-chest to pursue targets after American owners lost their mind"

"Wayne Bridge hands in transfer request for regular football"

"Kuyt scores his first ever Liverpool Hat-trick"

"Drogba stayed on his feet after challenge- pigs seen flying in London"

"Arsene Wenger to break transfer policy for 30 year old midfielder enforcer in multi-million pound deal"

"Fat Frank told to shed some weight by Fabio"

Answer 17

"Steven gerrard comes out of the closet"

Story "Born Stephania Gerrard, the Liverpool captain underwent cosmetic surgery aged 16, after realizing that unless she was an ugly Scouser with a thich accent, she was not gona pull that hag of Alex Curran-Gerrard, his current wife.

Alex is said to have found out about Steven's birth-sexuality the night of their wedding, having decided to abstain from s*x until married. She has stayed close to her man or erm, shall we say, woman, knowing full well that withuot his wealth she could not afford her daily manicures, pedicures or facials, nor her shopping trips to cricket, fashionable Liverpool store.

Stephania's agent was not available for comment whilst coach Rafa Benitez is said to have said when questioned by Sky Sports last night, "I do not care about Steven's sexuality. Man or Woman she has a buttock, and that is the only hole I care for"