What game is he playing at? 10 pts?

Question

my ex and i have a very confusing relationship. he asked me the first of the month to spend a week in his city which is 5hrs. away with him for his bday. he is with another woman btw has been since the breakup. but she is a secret to everyone becuase of her religion and other things. he can't even tell his fam about her. i just found out that at the end of the month him and his friends are leaving there apt. and low and behold she is asking for him to move in! and only after dating for 2months!!! my ? is during this visit we were always around each other holding onto one another kissing and he even showed me off proudly to all his friends. he said on the last day that half of him is tired of hurting me and the other half thinks he is crazy and wants me back! then on friday i decided to see if he wanted to get back together agian and we texted for two hrs. he kept saying he felt tons of feelings for me and he cared so much for me but, he can't act on them. then i finally got a job in his city yesterday and now he is all excited! he called me immediatly laughing and wanting to talk. now he is saying that when i go up for my interview in 2 weeks he wants us to spend time together and he wants to find me the perfect apartment. wtf!? idk what is going on here!?

Answer 1

The game he is playing is:  I Want To Have My Cake, And Eat It Too.

Let's face it here, he can't be that into you if he's a) stringing you along for his own personal reasons, b) has another girlfriend, c) can't even decided if he want to be with you or not.

AND in the mean time he's causing you all of this confusion and heartache because you're just waiting for the day when he will 'wake up' and realize that you're the girl he's wanted all along.  Yeah, I did it too and guess what?  I wasn't the girl he wanted all along until he DID realize it -3 years later and it was already too late because by then I had already moved on.  I got tired of waiting.  And so will you, you just haven't gotten a "belly full" of his BS yet...but you will.

Take it from me, I got the job and the apartment where he lived, in a city where I didn't know anyone.  And it still didn't make a difference in the end.  He never even made it official, and kept doing the same thing that he was doing before I moved there.  I had to face it, he was just not that into me.  And this guy is just not that into you, and you will save yourself a lot of heartache and trouble if you just completely cut him off.  And it will be hard, and you will probably drunk dial or do silly things like that, but TRY to move on.  And by TRY I mean don't take the job, don't move, don't call and when you think you are going to cave into him, remember what you've been through and that any real man that is worth crying over will never make you cry.

Answer 2

I feel like I should get a college credit or something for reading all that.

I was most annoyed when you put the question mark symbol instead of spelling it out...like that saved you tons of time.

Answer 3

ok well if you have feelings for him why not give it another try?

Answer 4

It's so hard to listen to your brain and what it is telling you and than your heart tells you another thing.  He right now has the best of both worlds because he is with her and still has you.  I think he cares for both of you and can't make up his mind.  As long as you make yourself available, talking on the phone, text messaging and seeing him you are hurting yourself..and making it easy for him NOT to make a decision.  Why don't you make it for him right now and see what happens..what I mean by this is stop all communication and cut him off immediately.  Sure I know it's going to be extremely hard for you to do this and stick with it..but if you do he may make a decision to commit to you.    Since he is hiding this other woman and taking you into public I think it may go exactly the way you want it to.  Absence

makes the heart grow fonder and I do believe that will happen if you just move on for a while.  Good Luck!

Answer 5

Drop that zero sweetie you can do bad all by ya self plus you are an Important,valuable,& lovable person so don't waste your time on him & his foolish games ok..I wouldl like to be your friend ok sweetie~1~!!!

Answer 6

I know you have feelings for him but I think you should take these two weeks before your interview and not talk or text or email him at all...give him up completely and see at the end of two weeks if you really miss him...all his confusion is making it hard for you, and you need to do what is best for you...

Answer 7

IDK

Answer 8

It sounds like he is playing games.  Hes trying to have his cake and eat it too.  That's pretty selfish of him, and unfair to you.  I know that it will take a while, but moving on will be your best bet.  It will take time, and it's hard I know, but it's probably for the best.  Good luck!

Answer 9

Sounds like he is burning the candle at both ends. Maby you both want to move on but still feel some comfort when you are together. He needs to figure out what he wants b4 you move to the new city. And he would REALLY need to get rid of her if he cares.

Answer 10

Well, just get the job and the apartment, and wait. Dont ask him his feelings or share any feelings. If he asks you if you want to go out again, Then say that you'll only go out if he breaks up wit his girlfriend or else you and him can only be friends.

Answer 11

he is a d*ck

just quit talking to him.

i know its hard but he doesn't deserve you. he is picking tickets over your. forget about him!

Answer 12

what it is, is that he has to hide her and wants a real relationship he's probably feeling I don't want to hide and sneak around any longer.  So b/4 he ends it with his girl-friend now he wants to stay close to you as well basically he wants it all, you & HER.  He sounds like he wants to keep tabs on you. since he want to find a place for you.  I wouldn't do it. don't tex him any more. go about your business don't answer his tex's or phone calls.  You said you wanted to move on. go for it girl-friend. since you have a new job you don't need him trying to bring you down and getting mixed up with all of his drama. put your full attention on this job. you might run into a nicer guy that will not take you for granted or though so many hoops.  Don't give him personal information about you.  He will stalk you.  don't go there.  please don't go there!!! Good luck to you and your job and apartment.  

Answer 13

ahha, So he wants what he can't have.

Okay, so obviously this guy still has lots of feelings for you. &by what i can tell you stilll have alot of feelings for him but seriuosly girl, he.. can't act on his feelings?

don't wait for him.

he has feelings for you. but what his intention is..? i d k. showing you off to his friends and kisses you when he has someone else he is with?

you kno..

and i kno that that isn't right there.

can i give you some good advice?

and for some reason i think you should move on. and keep him as a close friend.

i mean he can be your bestfriend, but he will never be anything more.

quit waiting.

Answer 14

he does not want you but does not want anyone else to have you take care of you