What gifts would you give the bridesmaids if they didnt help you?

Question

Of course I am a little frustrated that not one of my 4 bridesmaids helped with favors, invites, bows, or anything! I asked for help but ended up doing it all by myself. So what gift would you give in my position?

Answer 1

Your bridesmaids are not required to help you with any of that stuff. That's up to you and your fiance. They have to pay for their dresses, shoes, nails, make-up, etc., that's quite enough. As long as they attend the events and support your marriage, that's plenty good enough.

I would get them exactly what you would have gotten them anyway. mani/pedi gift certificates for after the wedding? Go to a boutique and hand-select each maid a unique gift. Anything you want that's in your budget.

Gifts are typically given out at the rehearsal dinner.

Answer 2

I got no help from my attendants either; we asked them to stand up for us, not to work.

I got them silver heart lockets, very beautiful.

http://www.exclusivelyweddings.com/Filig...

A pendant or pendant/earring set would be nice, give to them before the wedding obviously so they could wear them.

http://www.exclusivelyweddings.com/viewI...

http://www.receptionfavor.com/catalog/it...

http://www.thingsremembered.com/webapp/w...

Answer 3

My dear.  I am buying my bridesmaids diamond studded earrings to wear with their bridesmaids outfits, which I also bought for them.  It is my wedding, so I am providing my wedding party with everything they need, and I have a wedding planner who is also planning my bachelorette party, and my bridal shower, and everything else.  It is my wedding, so I really only expect my bridesmaids to come and have fun with me.  So, I would buy your maids whatever you originally planned, and just celebrate with them.

Answer 4

So, I have this issue too, kinda... My bridesmades all have situations that weren't there when asked them to be my bridesmaids... My Matron of Honor is 7 months pregnant, my maid of honor just bought and moved into a new house, a bridesmaid just bought a house and is demolitioning it, and the other is just kinda... whatever... I made my bridal party my family, but I have friends that are doing more than my bridal party! And... MY FAMILY are ALL under the impression that when asked to be in the wedding, they are obligated to help with favors, invitations, etc. They EXPECT to do these things. They came to my house for two hours and did some stuff, and that was fine... but as far as a shower and Bach party... my MOM is having to do ALL the work. I made her happy by putting who she thought would be right in my wedding party instead of my self. Now, SHE is stuck with the work and costs. I bought my girls a whole bunch of GREAT gifts. I bought them two shawls that both match the dress, a Canvas LL Bean tote with their names on them, crystal necklaces, and gold slippers for the reception. They will all get these gifts no matter what, but they would NEVER not come to rehersal. That is just horrible and I feel so sad for you. This is YOUR wedding... not theirs!!! I would wait until after the wedding, and they tell them how disapointed you are with how they treated your wedding, but in a not rude fashion. Be the bigger person. Hope I helped!    

Answer 5

While I think it is rude that they didn't help you out - especially since you asked them - just remember that they had to pay for their dresses (the ones I have had to buy were over $150 plus alterations and shoes).

Also - you're gift to them is thanking them for standing up with you and supporting you and your husband-to-be.

It doesn't have to be expensive. A friend of mine gave us fake pearl necklaces to wear in the wedding. She gave them to us at the rehearsal dinner which is typically the case.

EDIT: I just read your extra details - no one is coming to the rehearsal? Or just the dinner? (Well, either way - that is EXTREMELY rude). You should tell them this. One wanted to go to a party??? They can't be very good friends if this is how they are acting.  

I would tell them that if they do not want to attend the rehearsal then they clearly don't want to be involved. It is YOUR wedding and there is no reason that you should be stressed or insulted like that.  

Answer 6

When my mom got married she gave her bridesmaids a shower set, you know, a scrubbie, shower gel, lotion, bath salts (you can buy them at walmart for 15$ already packaged). She gave them their gifts @ her bachelorette party.

Give it to them before the hair appointment, like in the parking lot!

=:)

Hope I helped!

Answer 7

The phrase "coal in their stocking" comes to mind.

I know they've been flakes with these last few important details, but how have they been the rest of the time?  If they've been pretty decent, then I would give them something and I would do it during the hair appointment or after the wedding...you have the ultimate excuse if they have all chosen to not have the rehearsal.  

I have to ask, did you tell them that you wanted the rehearsal or were you kind of wishy washy about it and they took you up on it?  I just cannot imagine that you had a set dinner planned out and everyone bailed on you because of a party.  Sometimes when we are more casual and laid back about something people take it as not caring, so they take advantage of it and do what they want.  Is it possible that you're just a laid back bride and they don't think it really matters to you and that you don't mind?  If that's the case, then I would call one of them up and tell them that you are hurt and you want to have the rehearsal and that it is important that everyone be there.

Good luck - no matter what they do, have a great day and congratulations!

Hey - everyone is being rather harsh on you with what the duties of a bridesmaid are.  If you are in the US, the duties are to buy their dress, attend ALL functions on time, and help the bride with anything she may ask for.  Now this doesn't mean that you have to do everything the bride asks for, but if your friend calls and asks you to help, you should find the time in your schedule to help.  And Sunny, while you may be giving diamond stud earrings (which for some reason I doubt, sorry) most give a token of their appreciation.  That's anywhere from a gift certificate for a mani pedi, a necklace, etc.  My cousin gave me one of those precious moments statues...I have to find that and throw it out.

So if these ladies don't buck up and come to the rehearsal dinner, I think it is perfectly acceptable to say "your gifts were at the rehearsal dinner" and give a little something (again coal comes to mind) at her leisure.

Answer 8

You usually give the bridesmaids their gift right before the wedding, while you are getting dressed.  You can give it at the hair appointment if you are all going to get your hair done together.  If you don't feel like the bridesmaids are fulfilling their duties, then the gift doesn't have to be anything fancy or expensive.  Usually it is just a little token to help them remember the day and something to wear for the wedding.  Earrings or a necklace are common, or you could give them hairclips or something like that.  I gave small pearl earrings to my bridesmaids, but they did not have to buy their dresses as we had those made for them.  If they had to buy their dresses the gifts are usually a little more valuable.

Answer 9

They don't have to do anything for you.  You asked them to be with you, not so that you could make them do your bidding.  It is your responsibility to plan your own wedding.  If I was your bridesmaid and you asked me to any of that (without me offering to help first) I would've told you where to put your bows, favors, and invites. I don't have time for stuff like that.  I have not asked my bridesmaids for any help, and don't intend to, as I can plan my own wedding.

That does stink about the rehearsal dinner though, but most people can walk down an aisle without rehearsing.  Get them nice gifts for standing by you, and give them out the morning of the wedding or something.

Answer 10

I would give them the same as what I actually gave them, pearl necklaces. I did not expect my bridesmaids to do anything other than stand up for me at the ceremony. They were not my party planning b!tches.

Give them the gift either at the rehearsal dinner, or while you all are getting ready before the wedding.

Answer 11

I feel your pain! I have 5 bridesmaids who haven't lifted a finger to help me. Only 3 of them even made the effort to come to my shower. Regardless of how disappointed I was, I'm still giving them all gifts. I ended up buying each of them a personalized jewelry box and jewelry to wear at the wedding. I decided that I still wanted to give them gifts because I wanted to be a gracious bride. After the wedding is another story... I'm planning to put as much effort into our friendships as they put into being my bridesmaids.

Answer 12

Nothing. Same thing she gave you!!!  

Answer 13

You don't give a GIFT as a payment!! You asked the girls to be in your wedding party. They have accepted, got dresses, cleared their days, etc. You buy them all a gift and present the gift to them the night before at the rehearsal - especially if it is jewellery to wear at the wedding - so they can tuck the paper/box away and not have things to carry at the wedding. You planned the wedding, you asked the attendants to take part. If you selected girls only as servants, then it's your mistake. If you asked them to take part because they are your friends, then you need to also be a friend and let annoyances go!! It's your wedding day. Be happy!! Get them all equal gifts, perhaps the jewellery to wear on the big day, or a manicure the day before.  

Answer 14

I gave all mine their jewlry for the wedding

Answer 15

i have 9 bridesmaids and no one really helped me with anything.. but never the less i am still giving them a gift. i bought them jewlery to wear the day of. (from overstock... necklace and earring set) anyway, im going to give it to them on the night of the rehearsal so they have it for that day. i kinda let them know that i got them jewlery so none would go out and spend money that they didnt have to.

good luck.  

Answer 16

a bag of rocks

Answer 17

I would give them a thank you card, and maybe some body stuff from like bath body works or something. Nothing to big.  

Answer 18

Who's wedding is it?  They have given you their word that they would be in the wedding and that includes the rehersal.  I've usually gotten the gifts at the rehersal, but if you dont feel like they deserve it, then I would'nt give them anything.  Or you could give the gifts after the wedding and say something like " I was going to give this to you at MY rehersal, but since no one thought it was important enough I forgot"