What good reasons would there be to Not have another baby until my husband finishes college?

Question

we have a 6 yr old and a 2 yr old right now. We want another one. Hubby wants to wait another yr to conceive. Im okay with that, but would not mind speeding things up a bit. He just enrolled for College. for the next 12 mths, he will work during the day, come home for dinner, and be at classes until 10 pm. I will still be a sahm to my two kids, and I also do some babysitting from home. He'll prob need to go another year of school after this one, and possibly even two more after that. I dont really want to wait 4 more yrs........... IT seems to me that I should be fine being pg, w/out him being around so much, but perhaps I am missing something?

Answer 1

I have a number of good reasons- tuition, technology fees, books, additional materials like computer applications, library printing fees, student parking fees... Individually, they may not be a lot, but it really adds up. The average cost for a college textbook (used) is $70, and that's the bare minimum just for one class.

Plus, your husband will have to study when he gets home, otherwise he'll just be burning money on tuition if he doesn't do well in school- most schools have a minimum GPA requirement to graduate.

It's very difficult to study if you've been  working all day, and you come home to a crying baby.

Answer 2

The child will also grow up without their father being involved as much as he could be if he wasnt in college. The other 2 children have had him for at least 2 years, the baby thats to be conceived wouldnt. Also, maybe he wants to be more involved and knows that the demands of work and school would require more from him and he doesnt want to miss out... those are both good reasons to wait. Or, compromise and have him either go for a 2 year degree or start trying during the 3rd year, so that if you got pregnant, the baby would be due in the 4th year and neither would miss out (the baby or the husband). You have to look at the overall picture. Yes, its important that you would be able to raise 3 kids without physical support from your husband for 4 years, but its also important to the father and the baby to have interaction with each other.

Good luck!

Answer 3

maybe your husband wants to be around and not miss a thing.  of course he works, so he will miss some things, but not everything.

Answer 4

Another good reason to wait is that the financial obligation of going to school for two to four years is quite substantial, add to that the cost of raising yet another child and it raises the financial burden even more.  

It is difficult to have a full time course load and work a full time job all the while maintaining good grades and sanity along with a good relationship with your children.  

Even if you are a stay at home mom your children deserve to have their dad around to and if he's spending thirty-five to forty hours a week doing school work (which is the average amount of time one should be spending in class and doing homework if enrolled for 15-18 credit hours) and forty more hours earning wages that leaves very little time for him to develop a relationship with the children you already have, let alone a new one.

Answer 5

I think it is best to wait.  Not only is going to college stressfull enough for him, but having another baby would just add to that.  It doesn't matter that you will be a stay at home mom or not.  There are still responsibilities that your husband will have that he didn't have before.  With each additional child comes more responsibility.  

I've seen this happen with my brother-in-law.  He had another child right during winter break (#3) and finished out the term with not so hot of grades, costing him a really good job.  

I understand how you feel, but you need to think of your hubby.  You want him to be done and finish as quickly as possible.  

Think about it this way too:  The more he is around the less stress there will be for you....your children will be happier as well!!  

Just my opinion.  It's your life and you have to decide what is best for your family.  

Best of luck and God bless.

Answer 6

Yes, wait until he is finished.  College you have to pay for books & silly fees.

You can always "protect yourself" if you want to make whoopie.

Hope my suggestion is helpful.

Answer 7

It sounds like he already has it pretty tough working all day and then school.  Give him a little break and wait a few years, you may be ok the first couple months of pregnancy but then what happens if you need bed rest or even minor things like you crave pickles at 3 am and he's supposed to go get them or when your up at 4 am with morning sickness and he's up by your side.  it sounds pretty selfish to want to do this without even considering the difficulties your husband may have with it.