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What grade would you give this english paper A,B,C,D, or F Be Honest. FYI I am a ninth grader?

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I still recall my first staccato performance at age six, as my diminutive fingers transversed a sea of ebony and ivory keys. My audience consisted of a motley group of three canines who loved to howl to the chorus of my songs, and occasionally bark until I stopped playing. Luckily for both my dogs and my entire family my piano playing is no longer so unpleasant and the dogs no longer desperately try to escape from the torture chamber my room once was, but instead perk their ears and listen to the now melodious chords rising from the piano.

For the first time at age eleven I was ready to perform in front of my first non-canine audience. I had practiced for this moment since I was six years old and finally I found myself setting on a hard wooden piano bench on an enormous stage behind a viel of luxurious red curtains.

I sat pondering my performance and a sudden wave of self doubt began to cast its shadow on me. I thought to myself, “what if I can’t remember a solitary note? Were all those years of practice just a waste of time and effort?” In the background I heard a voice vaguely say, “one minute.” Time crawled by second by second turning that single minute into an everlasting eternity. Finally I heard the same voice as before command that the curtains be opened. The curtains that had seemed inseparable slowly parted revealing a solitary figure on the stage. My fear soon subsided as the hundreds of faces in the audience morphed into just three familiar ones. I played passionately hitting chord after chord without hesitation. I hit the last chord of the piece I was playing and a thunderous round of applause arose from the audience. The three faces that had been there since the very beginning were no longer visible, but replacing them I saw hundreds and I knew that I would never again doubt my abilities.

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  1. I also have to give it a solid B, but with some minor revising, easily an A

    just a couple of run on sentences and grammatical errors


  2. I wish the paper I got from my grad students last week was as well-written!  Yes, there are a few small errors which should be corrected, as others have said, but unless you are at a very competitive school, I would say it would be an A-.

  3. I would give it a high B, low A; if you correct the couple of grammar and spelling issues (run on sentences, comma usage) I would give it an A.

    I honestly don't think that it's verbose; I like that you're not afraid to show a vocabulary and play with words.  Your sentence structure, for the most part, shows a strong understanding of grammar and usage, and your story flows.  I like the imagery that you use, as well.  Great job!

  4. I'd have to give it a B.  Its well thought out, but, well, its a bit verbose.  It seems like you're trying too hard to use big words and to make the paper sound too big.

    Also a few grammatical and style errors within the paper.

    Viel should be veil

    Simplify your writing style just a tad.  I'm not telling you to "dumb it down", just make it a bit more "everybody" accessible.

  5. I can't believe I'm grading on the last week of my summer vacation...LOL!

    I'd say an A-, but with some minor revisions for punctuation, etc.. an A.  It does sound like you are trying hard to use some good words and you know, you used them well :o)  I should have you come teach my writing classes!

  6. Seems to me this is a personal narrative.  Check out the first link for some tips.

    Now for the grade.  Honestly, I'll give you a C.  This is because I am reading your essay not knowing the requirements of your teacher.  If your teacher gave you a grading rubrics, or grading scale, follow that.

    Here are the general rules of writing: the Six Traits - Ideas, Organization, Voice, Sentence Fluency, Word Choice, and Conventions.  Refer to the second link below.

    You can easily change this paper to a B+ or higher by polishing it up some.  You're on a roll, most writers don't get it right the first time so give it more effort.  Great draft!

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