What happened to my friend?

Question

I went through some extreme depression recently and I told her I was suicidal via email but had gotten much better with meds and therapy. Since then I haven't heard a peep from her. I don't know if my admission scared her or if maybe she's just busy. But you'd think a major revelation like that would get *some* response.

She's told me major things about herself and her family but I never judged her. I sent another email asking if she was still there. But... nothing.

Should I just let her go now or what? We've know each other for about 11 years...

Answer 1

Yeah, let her go, it will take some time but she will get back in touch with you and apologize, then you'll have the option of hearing her explanation and deciding whether you want to continue a friendship...and if she doesn't she's not much of a friend anyway.  I know from experience...I was the "friend" In my situation though It was my best friend from high school and I was only enabling her by letting her dump her c**p on me, she was abusing drugs and alcohol, got pregnant by a loser, etc.  This went on for 4-5 years.  A year after I stopped having anything to do with her we got back in contact, and now she's been sober almost a year and has her daughter back.  I knew by letting her cry on my shoulder and comforting her it wasn't helping her...maybe your friend has something like that going on in her head.  But if you confided that you were suicidal at the time she really really should have been in contact with some of your family about it.

Answer 2

Sometimes friends have a shelf life possibly your friend was overwhelmed by your revelation, or thought you were trying for attention. If they were a true friend you would have heard something. Just move on, a friend is a friend through good and bad times, someone you can call at 3 in the morning, someone you can tell your deepest feelings too and they will listen, and even if they don't have advice or an opinion they will understand.

This was clearly not a friend, they were an acquaintance at best.  

Answer 3

well,..... don't listen to other people go with your conscience.

Answer 4

sounds to me like she is scared,for you and what you could be capable of doing.try to keep the lines of communication open.call,if to no avail,write....and explain that you mean no harm to anyone most of all yourself and you truly do enjoy her company and confidence as your friend.there should be no reason for her to turn her back on you,

Answer 5

Shes shocked she won`t answer if she was confused,angry and upset i suggest you go round her house and explain things more clearly try to get her to forgive you or you could ring her-email isn`t the best thing-she must oviously like you, if shes upset she oviously has a great relationship with you  

Answer 6

I think you probably scared her with your suicidal talk.  Even though you are on meds & going through therapy, it could be that your email was enough to scare her out of the friendship with you.  People are funny like that.  Doesn't matter how long you have been friends, because a true friend would have stuck by you and encouraged you to get help.  I'd let  her go.  There is more to life than 1 friend....a lot more.

Answer 7

Maybe you should just wait and see what happens or keep emailing her shell eventually reply

Answer 8

i can definitely relate to that.....

and if your friend was a "true" friend of yours she would have had something to say. she would have tried to be there for you in some way. when someone tells you something like that, being they're depressed or whatnot, it's scary but if you love them you try to be there for them the best that you can.

if its been a while and you still got no response, try texting her. maybe her email doesnt work anymore and she never got your emails or something. but that does sound really crappy so i would pretty much write her off, as bad as that sounds.

Answer 9

Keep trying to contact her.

She might be scared that if shes really close to you you'll kill yourself and she'll have to sufer from loosing you.

Answer 10

Maybe you should call her or sit down with her in person, people don't always check their E-mail.

Answer 11

She's probably just scared and doesnt know how to handle that type of situation...Some people handle things differentl but if she is your friend she should have said something....Just give her some time to understand then in a few days or weeks if she doesnt respond to you its time to find a new friend...A friend that will be there for you in the good and bad times.

Answer 12

that's how some friends are they will leave you when you down i'm sorry but that isn't really your 'friend'. sorry good to know you are better. plus you would get better friends more worth your while, sorry that's the sad truth if she has managed to call you after something so major.

Answer 13

First of all you have to put yourself in her shoes. Don't email her, go over there. She may have to see you to understand. If you were joking on the suicidal thing then you should let her know that too. But if you are serious then offer or ask  her to come along with you to a counseling session. But if she declines then yeah she may not have been your real friend or she just now be scared to lose you and can't imagine you gone. Make the visit.

Answer 14

Some people just dont know how to handle the situation.

maybe she was scared that she might say the wrong thing. to be honest if my friend told me that i really wouldnt know what to say except for that i would support her whatever way she needed it.

maybe confront her with saying i just need some support right now and i need someone to listen to me. maybe give her some ideas on how to handle the situation.

Hope i helped! :D

Answer 15

never asume things -maybe she doesn't use that email anymore, surely if you have known for 11 years you'll @ least have her phone number and address! -try contcting her that way.

Answer 16

It is possible your friend was scared by your email and didn't know how to respond, but it was wrong of her not to find out how you were dealing with your depression.

I think you should just ask her why she backed off, tell her you were disappointed in her lack of concern during a difficult time in your life, and leave it at that. You will probably feel better telling her and letting off steam.

Since I got divorced a few years ago, I've been surprised by the reactions I've seen in people that I've told about my situation. Some are just horrified but don't want to know. Others are sympathetic and care about how my kids and I are doing. I've come to realise that it is not personal thing or a failing on my part. It is just how some people are made - they're too weak to deal with other people's problems - it's their failing, not yours. Don't take it personally.

It's good to hear that you've overcome your darkest day. It's important to see this fairweathered 'friend' as nothing more than an acquaintance. A true friend cares about how you are and wants to help you.

Answer 17

Probably her parents must have told her to stop talking to you because of your problems. Shes just surprised that you told her now and not a couple of years before! Just give her a couple of weeks, if she still doesn't reply, go round her house, if no one replys, i think she must have gone on holliday? But if she removes you from her hotmail or msn, it meens shes really scared. Just e-mail her and tell her 'Im really soz i aint told you before, but thats sorted now because ive got some help and im better now, plz reply to me, ive known you for years, dont let are friendship end!'   Something like that lol xx Hope it helps