What happens if my husband doesn't want anymore kids and I do?

Question

We have 2 kids... a 2 1/2 year old and a 5 week old. I don't want another child just yet maybe in a few years, but my husband says he is def done and doesn't want anymore children. When we first were married I said I wanted 3 or 4 and he said he wanted 2. So this isn't a surprise to me. But what do I do if the feeling for wanting more children doesn't go away? And divorce is def out of the question.

Answer 1

Wait and see what the future holds for you, dont stress about it yet.

Answer 2

When a man says something, I think it's always best to believe him.  If a man says, "I want two kids," then I think it's fair to expect that after you have two kids, he'll be done.

Be happy that you have your two children and honor your husband's wishes.

Answer 3

If you are a Christian, you pray like crazy.  When baby is older and no longer nursing, you can fast and pray.  As a couple, hang around people who believe God should decide how many children you should have, especially husbands who believe it.

Just as it isn't a surprise to you that he wanted two, it shouldn't be a surprise to him that you wanted more.  

If he is firm in his decision, he needs to be the one to get sterilized, not you.  There is no reason that you should go through surgery for his decision.  I knew a woman who went into surgery, having her tubes tied, crying the whole time, because her husband decided no more kids.

Your husband may change his mind.  It is overwhelming sometimes, to have a new baby.  Given time and no pressure, maybe he won't think about it.  If he doesn't think about it, he won't prevent it.  

And, if he is slow in getting a vasectomy and you end up pregnant, don't abort your baby.  Every baby is a gift.

Answer 4

Just take it one day at a time.  Don't do anything permanent yet and see what happens in a few years and see how he feels then.  If he still feels 2 is enough then you will need to accept that if you want to be together.  I know my mom always wanted only 1 child and she stuck to that.  Sometimes people just know what they can handle.

Answer 5

Well, as adults you have to both come to a agreement. And honestly I would say the agreement should be, that you both wait till the future gets here and then decide. Becuz in all honesty he might think he dont want more right now, but then later decided differently. And visa versa....

Answer 6

i would give him some time i mean you just welcomed a new baby and you have  a toddler so he might be overwhelmed give him a little while and talk it over and then maybe his mind will change

Answer 7

Well I think the only thing you can do is hope he changes his mind. Unless you want to get a divorce which you already said is not an option, or secretly get yourself pregnant which is likely to lead to a bad marriage, I think you will just have to accept it. If you find that you are really at turmoil and feel you need more then tell your hubby this. The turmoil you feel may end up trumping the no divorce policy. But I think once you have had time to think about it, you will find that if he doesnt come around to your side, you will come around to his.

Answer 8

Well I am a tall good looking well hung guy so here's the deal. You buy my plane tickets and give me 10 grand in cash and I will come over and get you pregnant ok?

Answer 9

You respect his wishes.  If you go ahead and surprise him with another, you will probably end up getting divorced.  Give him time . . . you've got two babies in the house.  Maybe when they're a little bigger, he'll miss having babies, too and you can revisit this conversation.

Best of luck to your family!

Answer 10

You married him knowing that.