What happens when someone calls the police that you hit your child in public?

Question

My 10 almost 11 year old daughter acted up the other day runing away from me and my quests while at the pool...She called her dad and was lying about something..when i confronted her she said.... i was bored... i took her phone and put in in the garbage ..then she ren out from the pool and started screaming and crying..called her dad from some peoples phone and ren out..i went to her told her to get in the car..she refused and i spenked her with a stick from a bush..and pulled her hair a little...the people whom phone she used called the police and they took statments from all of us...this happened 3 days ago..now what is the next step that will hapen..is it really ilegal to educate your child..and teach them some respect..with a spenk on the butt...i don't know what her statment was ..nor my ex husbands..her dad..anyone knows anything ....would apreciate any input

Answer 1

I have a daughter who will be 11 on July 25.  They can be sassy can't they?  This whole scene sounds like everyone got a bit out of control and everyone made some bad choices.  When the police are called to respond to a possible abuse situation then it is their legal responsibility to report their findings to the agency in your state that handles these matters.  It may be called Children's Protective Services or it may have another name in your area.  You will probably get a call from a representative from this agency or perhaps they will just show up at your door.  An investigation will have to happen.  If this is the type of thing that happens at your house frequently than there may be some ramifications, but if it was a one-time incident they will probably give you some recommendations such as taking some parenting classes or perhaps offer some problem-solving techniques and consider the case investigated and closed due to lack of evidence of abuse.  I have been a parent for 29 years to 4 kids who are now 29, 26, 23, and 10.  I am sure, in hindsight, you wish you had handled a few things differently.  Just in my own personal opinion, I think having a cell phone at this age is inappropriate.  My daughter has asked for one, but I can see no good reason for it.  Throwing the cell phone in the garbage was an act done in anger and really served no good purpose.  I am sure all the yelling, hitting, and hair pulling was alarming to witness and I am not surprised the police were called.  A swat on the bottom for an act of definace can serve as an attention getter, but whenever it is used in anger and in the heat of the moment, it can get out of hand.  I don't think much educating or teaching respect went on in this situation, only a lot of emotions flowing with no helpful outlet for them.  She should be held accountable for her actions, but punishment needs to be directly related to the "crime" and it has to be determined when you are not madder than heck at her.  I think it would have been best, again in hindsight, to take her phone and make her sit somewhere until she got herself under control.  If that didn't happen than leaving the pool would have been appropriate.  I don't think you will see any long term ramifications from this incident, but it will go on a report and I am sure you will receive a call and/or visit from a social worker.

Answer 2

I'm not exactly sure what will happen. The best thing to do now, though, is to talk to your daughter and try to sort things out a little. It's never a good idea for you to stay angry at each other.

Answer 3

Case will be turned over to children's services.  They will open a file on you.  They will investigate you & your daughter & then make a decision.  

It is not illegal to educate your child & teach them some respect.  It is also not illegal to spank your child.  The case will, most likely, revolve around the hair pulling, loud voices at the pool & other actions.  However, I would definitely question spanking your child in public with a stick.  I have, on occasion, spanked my child but I alway spank them it a place that is private.  

There are other ways, however, to teach your child respect (not that I think spanking is wrong - but I think you need to vary your discipline.)  Kevin Leman - How to make children mind without losing yours - is a Fantantic book!

Answer 4

u will be invesigated by cps most likely and if thats a regular occurance u will probably lose her but since u hit her with a stick she probably should be taken from u

Answer 5

I think things have changed dramatically in the past 10 years. When I was younger (I am 26 now) if I acted up my parents would smack the s**+* out of me. Now days you get in trouble for even threatening to spank or your child starts screaming in the store and everyone looks at you like you are beating your child or something. I don't usually spank my kids, they could care less if I did my daughter is 3 and laughs at me when I do. But I think the changes in society are not necessarily for the better. I always hated the fear of what would happen if I treated my parents the way your daughter did to you, but on the other hand I listened and didn't act up, I had respect for my parents.

I always tell my kids your lucky you didn't grow up with your grandparents! They think I am kidding.

I think things should be fine in your situation just explain what happened, and in the future don't pull her hair, or ever hit her with an object. In my opinion anything other than your hand should be child abuse.

I don't think that they would take her away or anything. Maybe some parenting classes or counseling for the both of you. Good luck!

Answer 6

that is child abuse even though it was on her butt u used a brach off a tree and u pulled her her hair u can go to jail 4 tht maybe and u can loose ur child they can take her to foster care and u might have to pay a fee

Answer 7

it stinks cause everyone is sooo not for childabuse but I know how it feels to want to beat your kid in public

Answer 8

They will more than likely remove the child from your custody and place her either in foster care or with her father...you stand to lose custody of her.  There is a major difference between using physical violence and a weapon against your child and educating them.  Education isn't hitting your child.  Obviously you need parenting classes as well as anger management classes which is probably what you will have to go through if you even want visitation with your child.  The courts could either keep you from visitations or force supervised visitations.

Answer 9

Your kid sounds like a brat. If you don't spank her often, then I don't think you'd really have a problem. If nothing goes wrong, then next time you want to spank her wait until you're both home.

Answer 10

If you are a mother and can not even spell RAN or SPANKED you have some issues.  I think this is ether a troll.  Or the child themselves pretending to be the mom.  If your really that bored go find something on tv to do...  Get a life!

Answer 11

tell the police the story then tell them i spanked her so she will never do it again cuzz if she did it then she would no that  "I" would spank her

Answer 12

They will let welfare know and someone from child protection will come out and speak with you and her.

Answer 13

you will be investigated by dcfs or cps whatever you call it by you...  if they find it true that you took a stick and did that they MIGHT take the child away from you and make you go to classes and counseling on parenting.  then you prove that youre a fit mother and get the child back.  This is a guess im not sure what happens...  but no one supports corporal punishment, it is referred to as child abuse.   I mean in the Bible it talks about sparing the rod spoil the child etc... I myself would have not taken a stick from the bush to hit the kid on the butt.  I would have not pulled her hair.  

I too also think that this is the 11 yr old on here not a parent... you mis spelled so many words i just dont believe it is a parent on here.  if this is the 11 yr old you should be ashamed of yourself!!!  acting like a brat in front of people, crying about your phone.  dont you have better things to do with yourself?

Answer 14

There are many factors that go into the police's decision.  If they have reason to believe your daughter is endangered by you, there may be a trial and custody might be given to your ex-husband (assuming he's her biological father).  You may also just get a stern lecture and have to go to a parenting class.  A parenting class might be a good idea, because it will teach you more constructive ways of reprimanding your daughter without resorting to violence.

If you do choose to spank, I suggest you do it with your hand, firmly but not hard.  More like a swat than a spank.  It's less violent than grabbing a stick, switch, or other object, but it's effective nevertheless.  However, I STRONGLY recommend communication above any kind of corporal punishment.  It sounds like your biggest problem here isn't your daughter acting up; it sounds like you two have communication issues.  It's really difficult when she's at that age, but it's going to take both of you to make it work (and it's best to do it now, because it will only get harder as she gets older).  Pulling her hair and spanking her with a stick won't facilitate good communication.

Nobody can tell you how to raise your child, and you do have the right to teach them respect.  However, the people that called the police were acting in your daughter's best interests, because they did not see you educating your daughter about respect; they saw you chasing her around, throwing out her phone, pulling her hair, and hitting her with a stick.  Your daughter probably sees it in even a worse light, which makes it pretty understandable why she was running from you.

As I said before, the key to making this kind of thing work out more smoothly is communication.  If she's misbehaving, take her aside and explain to her what she did wrong, why it is wrong, and how (if at all) you are going to punish her.  Punishments probably shouldn't take the form of spanking, but rather a time-out or revocation of priveleges.  I hope this works out for you.  It sounds like you're in a bit of a sticky wicket.  Good luck!

Answer 15

RUN FOREST, RUN!!

Answer 16

Pulled her hair a little? it sounds like your daughter is not the only one with a problem here. I know we all do the best that we can at the time, but it sounds like both of you need to learn a little impulse control.

It is never a wise idea to do something out of anger or frustration. Perhaps you could do a parenting course and learn a bit more about controlling your emotions. Now, I know this age child can have a knack of winding up a parent. I am a single mum with four children so I really feel for you.

You will have to sit this one out and see what the Police will do with the information given them. But definitely mend your relationship with your daughter in the mean time. Tell her that you don't always do things the right way and you are still learning.

Then you should set about learning to do things differently. We as parents must learn the art of being non-reactive and unemotional in our dealing with your children. Only then can we make the right choice all the time. I wish you luck. It is a learning curve for both of you.

The main thing for you is that you don't try to justify your actions of pulling her hair. That is never OK. Instead of justifying, find ways to change it. Then you will be a wise parent indeed and the world needs more wise parents who are willing to keep on learning.

Answer 17

i have a sneaking suspicion that this is the 11 year old posting this

anyway, it is perfectly legal to discipline or restrain your child  in any way you see fit as long as you dont leave bruises or other marks. so, that said, if the kid has no marks on her the police likely will not even contact the mom back.  ( i have a friend who is a state trooper and we have had this discussion)

Answer 18

I support spanking on the butt for discipline, but NEVER with an object. I think if you had just given her a few swats on the but with an open hand and DIDN"T pull her hair, i think you would have been fine.

I'm not sure what the next step will be, if the police pursue it, but i can assume that Child Services may get involved.