What happens when the elderly die through neglect?

Question

My nan lived with her son,his wife and their two children for thirty years. I always thought she was little more than an unpaid skivvy but she seemed happy enough with her life so we left it. She has 7 grandchildren and 11 great grandchildren . The other 5 grandchildren of which i am one always felt a little pushed out compared to the two she lived with but that was life. Any way in March her sons wife left taking one of the sons with her. He went even more mad than he already was and has been threatening alsorts since. He and the son that is left in the house are two freaks. They made it clear we were not welcome in their house so we have had to ring my nan when they were out and she has been ringing us when they were out. She has been given 4 mobile phones in total by us but they have taken them from her. About a month ago they phoned my mum to say nanny was sick mum and dad went down their and called an ambulance she was in hospital for nearly two weeks and said she was not going back their. We tried to liase with social services to get them to step in but after what was obvious coersion from her son and grandson she checked out of the hospital and went back their. The first we knew was when my mum phoned the hospital to check on her and was told she was gone.Seriously concerned for her we all phoned social services but were told nan was 83 and could choose for herself as an adult what she wanted to do.We tried to call her and go and see her but were always blocked by the son and grandson. We continued to try social services to no avail. 3 weeks ago my dad managed to get in and bring her to their house for an hour l saw her and she looked terrible if she weighed 4 stone it was a miracle my first thought was that she wouldn't live till christmas.My mum managed to get her to eat a ham sandwich that took her an hour to it. She couldn't wear her teeth because her mouth had shrunk so much. On monday just gone my mum got a phone call from a friend of my uncles in liverpool to tell her my nan was dead. My uncle couldn't tell us that she was rushed to hospital on the friday night where she lay alone and dying until the sunday morning when she died alone. We are devastated full of guilt and what if's. My question is what happens when someone has died through obvious neglect we all know what happens when a child dies through neglect but what about the elderly

Answer 1

its the same for the elderly. except in this case, your nan chose to be in this circumstance, therefore there's no real case. its really really sad. im so sorry. but its not a case of neglect. :(

Answer 2

I am so sorry.. neglect of the elderly is rampant in this country..even men in our state health department in the state i live were arrested for misusing state funds to house these little people..it is a slap in their face to be treated this way.. these who were once contributing to our lives and the workforce.  We sort of operate on a what have you done for me lately attitude.. it is very sad especially when it reaches government level it's times like this i give it to God to seek justice for the elderly and he will.

Answer 3

So sorry to hear about your nan, your story is so sad.

Answer 4

I'm so sad to hear what happened to your Nan..

A person quite often gets very, very thin and ill looking towards the very end of their life. As you described, their mouth shrinks and they can't eat. It's really quite sudden and a fairly normal part of life and death.

Whether she was neglected would be hard to prove especially as she chose to go back to the home she'd known for so many years. Sometimes people get so that they cannot tolerate any kind of change, and just want to be in their own place. Sounds like that is what your Nan wanted, even if maybe it wasn't good for her, I don't know what alternatives were being looked at, but maybe she really couldn't bear the idea of a major change at her time of life.

If you could prove neglect then those responsible could be prosecuted, but it really doesn't sound as though the proof is there.Maybe it would be better for you to let your Nan rest in peace, and remember the good times instead.

Answer 5

I don't know what you can do legally, but I am so sorry to hear about what happened to your Nan.  

Answer 6

As you know we lose a lot of kids to neglect and i for one will never understand this.It is sad be we also loose the elderly to this also.There is so called laws in place to keep this from happening.But you as well as i know that these laws or not worth a d**.Even when you call and try to get help for these people the first thing thay say is do you have proof !! Yes i have seen the kids with no food with bruises all over there body or the elderly in the same shape.Well 5 days later the kids are checked on but it's to late there gone! There father as beaten them so bad that they did not make it this time.So don't blame your self you know you tryed to get her help.And believe me God will see that the ones that hurt his children on this earth will pay and pay dearly!! And am sorry for what happen to your Nan.