What harm does it to do a child to call him/her mean names? ?

Question

My husband got mad at him and called him an idiot. When I confronted him, he just said that our son drives him crazy sometimes. I said well u don't call him names. He just said sorry, but didn't sound like he meant it. Then I said he's your son too. Earlier my son who btw is very very sensitive was crying so hard, b/c his papa called him an idiot! Any real advice on this would be great. I do know it is very damaging. Thanks so much.

Answer 1

A parents job is to build up their child. By demeaning them by calling them names such as idiot, stupid do nothing but tear them down. It destroys their self esteem thus setting them up for a future of failure and heartache. Because they will not have faith in themselves thus they will fail and then verify inside that Dad was right I am an idiot or stupid or no good. Your husband is on a dangerous path for your child right now. Children are going to push your buttons thats what they do- and how they learn about bonderies and right from wrong. By calling them names you install in them fear, loathing and self doubt plus it is a form of abuse(emotional) and they in turn may continue the cycle with their own children

Answer 2

It can definitely have long-term affects on the child's confidence/self-esteem.

Answer 3

it will make them feel lose confident or have low self esteem in a long run.

Answer 4

Your child gets his self-respect and self-esteem from the way that you treat and talk to him. If you are demeaning, I guarantee he will lose self-esteem because of it. You must sit down and talk about this with your husband and make very very sure it does not happen again. He should apologize immediately for calling him an idiot, and promise to never do it again. This will help tremendously!!! You should notice a huge difference in your son with a little time, and your husband's and son's relationship will improve as well. Good job Mom for noticing your son's hurt, and you can have a little talk with your son as well and explain that parents are not perfect and that we too make mistakes and sometimes need to be forgiven. He is lucky to have you in his little life!!!

Answer 5

It degrades their self-esteem and self-worth.

Answer 6

Um, it can do a lot. I hate my father to this day. He was so mean to me and i cant stand him. I dont even like to talk to him. We were so distant, and we still are because of the things he said to me and called me. He called me things like "stupid, dummy, idiot, brainless, dumba**' and more. I really cannot stand my father. And calling a child names is more painfull than most people think. It can make them want to die. And i remember crying myself to sleep because i thought my father hated me. And then he had another child which he treated like gold. And i was still crying myself to sleep every night because of his name calling. And he just did it because he was mad at something else and took it out on me. But not his other child. Just me. And guess what? He still does it. So tell your husband to just watch what he says no matter what his kid does. Because he doesnt want his child to hate him like i hate my father. I still want to cry thinking about my father being rude to me. It makes me feel empty and imcomplete. I feel like sh*t every time we see eachother. Because he just makes judgements on his little ruined child without saying anything. I know he doesnt like me, and i dont like him either. So just tell him not to do it because you really dont understand what goes on through a childs mind when they are being called mean names by the ones they look up to.

Answer 7

well that happenes sumtimes but he shouldnt of said that he should have gone outside or something he should vent his anger somewhere else so i hope i helped u

Answer 8

You know that it is wrong and that it is damaging..what more do you need to know?

Talk to your husband about not verbally insulting your son.

Answer 9

don't call him names. discourage the behavior not the child. it might seem stupid and silly right now, but 15 - 20 yrs down the road you will see the real effects of your actions. my dad called me names and yelled at me from a young age. and to this day, i have huge trouble socializing (have very few friends), and am depressed/suicidal. by calling names you're just destroying his self-esteem.  please please don't call him names and make your husband obey that rule to the letter.  

Answer 10

Who treated your husband this way? Did someone treat him or make him feel worthless as a child? Sometimes when we realize where the behavior is coming from and the effect it will help make him stop. He needs to talk to your son and say he is sorry unless he really doesn't mean it. The harm is that it makes the kid feel worthless and damages his self esteem. It makes people have mental problems later and problems dealing with other people. If your husband refuses to make up with your son then you need to talk to him and tell him that Daddy was very wrong and why, this may help.

Answer 11

I know how your son feels. My mother did the same thing to me and I never liked it. I did confront her on it at one point, but now she mocks me about it. It's not fun to be called names by someone you look up to or trust to be a father figure in your life. He should apologize and learn to watch his temper.  

Answer 12

as to your husband calling him names that is completly wrong, you know this, but maybe they havn't bonded enough because a real parent could never do anything so hurtful. home and parents are supposed to be the escape from the world, the one place you feel safe,i would address that soon. and for the effect if would have on your son, it might cause him to resent his father if he keeps it up, i know i do mine.