What have you seen that didn't quite work out?

Question

What are some things you have seen at weddings that the bride & groom or wedding planner thought would be a good idea or would work and didn't quite workout the way they were intended? Or caused unforeseen problems?

For example: We went to a wedding on Friday night and two things stuck out at me. 1) They didn't have any ushers so finding a seat for the ceremony was rough. By the time the venue was filling up couples and families were having to split up to sit down. Probably seemed like there was not a point in having ushers or they got overlooked but it did cause a bit of chaos. 2) The bride and gorom or coordinator choose to have tall pedestals with large flower arrangements on them lining the aisle. However, due to the pedestals, the large flower arrangements and the fact that the bride and groom were on the same floor level as the guests hardly anyone could see them. I was sitting on the aisle end of a row and saw nothing but a flower arrangement and the back of the guy's head in front of me. The flowers were pretty but really took away from the view of the bride and groom.

The rest of the evening was nice.

Anyone else? I can always use a heads-up as I am planning my own wedding for 8/1/09 and sometimes we overlook things!!! ( =

Thanks!

Answer 1

1. Having a reception 30 minutes from the wedding site and then having road construction cause massive detours and delays.

2. Having so many bridesmaids that no one could actually watch the ceremony. Instead, everyone got views of the backs of bridesmaids.

3. Having the wedding on 4th of July weekend in a downtown location. Downtown was cordoned off for the weekend for parades and other city functions. Everyone had to walk 12 blocks from the church site to the reception site.

4. Having the bridesmaids dresses in navy blue velvet. They photographed black.

5. Having a wedding in the morning (10AM); the reception in the evening (5PM); photographs from noon-2PM; and no food available until the reception dinner at 7PM for any of the bridal party (including 3 flowergirls under the age of 6). In addition to this, serving only alcohol from 5PM-7PM.

6. Having a wedding on a holiday weekend which coincidentally was also the weekend that Mary Kay was having their national convention. Hotel rooms were unavailable for out-of-town guests  Even 20 miles away, LaQuinta rooms were renting for $180 a night.

7. Having a reception last for 8 hours and only serve food once. In addition, the food was all single-serving (no seconds on anything). We left the reception at 10PM to go to Dennys for something to eat; we ran into 16 other guests from the wedding there, including three of the bridal party. None of us returned to the reception.

I have lots more stories. It seems that the more extravagant and creative the wedding was, the more likely we'd have a good story to talk about later. The simplest weddings were the best managed ones.

Answer 2

I went to a gorgeous (expensive) wedding, and there was only one thing there that didn't work out too well.  There were around 100 guests and they got around 50 huge sparklers (probably 2-3 feet long) and handed them all out to guests.  We all lit them for the awesome photo op.  However, we were all out on a balcony (it was the only way to get outiside of the hotel) and I got burned from nearby falling sparks several times.  No one wanted to move because we were all so close to each other holding flammable objects. :)   Quite scary!!

I know they hadn't thought about it beforehand, but it's a good example of making sure that if you have something "unique", picture what it'll be like during the actual activity.

Also, I personally am not a huge fan of dancing at weddings.  This'll probably get me some thumbs down, but hear me out.  I've been to a lot of weddings, and when there's dancing, very few guests actually get out there and dance it up for the reception.  Many people are too shy, too sober, or, like me, just don't like dancing.  That's unfortunately almost always the only main activity besides eating, so it makes the wedding pretty boring after dinner.  I've had tons of fun playing live wedding trivia or things like that.

Oh, and I second the live animal centerpieces!  I went to one where there were betta fish, and we played a game to auction them off to guests.  What a horrific idea!  I'm sure most of them didn't survive very long.

Answer 3

I went to a wedding where the bride and groom had a laptop computer set up with iTunes connected to a stereo for dancing.  Unfortunately they hadn't actually set it up beforehand to make sure it worked right, so every time someone touched one of the speaker wires, the speaker would make a loud, ear-splitting pop.  It was horrid - we finally had to set chairs over the speaker wire so it wouldn't be kicked around.  In addition, they had made playlists of their favorite songs, but they hadn't stopped to consider that they were hard songs to dance to.  Lots of alternative, lots of obscure stuff, too much without a distinctive beat.  Even the first dances with the bride and groom and then the parents' dances were full of awkward shuffling as they all tried to "make do".  Finally they allowed us guests to get behind the laptop and choose songs ourselves that we knew were danceable.

Answer 4

Honey, where do I start?  Here are just a few:

1.  Making your guests wait to eat until after you arrive at the reception, after having taken 30-45 min. of pictures, then introductions, then first dance, then family dance, then cake cutting.  Let them eat!

2.  Waiting to do the cake cutting pictures and actually serve the cake too late into the evening.  Guests get very tired of waiting on the cake; some will actually leave before you cut it if you wait too long.  Then you wind up with a half-eaten cake you are out big money for!

3.  Having an outdoor wedding in a hot month with no shade, no fans, no water, no consideration for guests!  Also, tell the preacher to keep it short!

4.  Having a cash only bar(including having to pay for water, tea, soft drinks) for the cocktail hour & not telling anyone in advance!  The cocktail hour was outside on a terrace, on May 26, in the sun, and no one came prepared with money cause they didn't tell them on the invite!

Answer 5

Hi.  

~ With regard to your #2 item (the large floral arrangements).  Remember this also for the reception centerpieces.  So many times I see brides posting pictures of these big elaborate centerpieces.  That may look good in an empty room, but remember that your guests want to visit and chat (hopefully!) with those across the table.  There is nothing worse than a big floral arrangement in your way all night.  I was at one reception where there were balloons.  We all kept moving them around all night in order to talk.  Finally, someone just put them on the floor!  Kind of a waste of an arrangement.

~ Endless speeches from everyone and their brother!!  Boring.  I don't really know when the "speeches" started.  When I was married it was a simple toast...."here's to x*x and x*x...may they have a long and happy marriage!"  That's enough.

Answer 6

I was at a wedding last month and I thought that it was incredibly rude when the bride and groom provided champagne for only their wedding table and had a toast. If you don't want to provide champagne (or any other beverage but water) for your guests, that's fine but then don't have a toast. So many people looked really awkward holding up their water glass.

EDIT:

It might have been a little different if there were servers on hand to bring (paid for) drinks/champagne, but since it was a buffet set-up and there wasn't a nearby bar no one was even able to get a glass before the toast.

Answer 7

One thing I've seen is when the bride and groom try to micromanage everything.  Like what song will played at what time.  Leave that stuff to the professional (the DJ), it flows so much better to read the crowd rather than trying to lead the group.

Answer 8

Ushers actually wouldn't have solved the problem of finding a seat. I was somewhere with ushers and we had to split up to sit. Just as a warning...

Vet the photographer carefully. Some of them don't know how to behave at weddings - they'll show up dressed in black, as if they're trying to be nice and inconspicuous, but then they stand in the front and walk around while taking pictures.

Make sure you have orders of service. I was at a wedding this summer where they didn't have orders of service, and most of the people there didn't know what to do. And in the order of service remind people that photography is inappropriate, or else you'll get guests taking pictures all during the wedding.  

Answer 9

-Gold fish centerpieces... no need to explain

-Outdoor ceremony on 110 degree temperature

-Cake displayed outdoors during the summer...frosting melted

-Speeches being made by the 16 members of the wedding party.... endless, unnecesary and boring!

-Outdoor flowers during the summer time... all of them dead on the summer heat

I think for the most part, everything worked out on the weddings that I've attended and if they didn't, I really didn't  noticed.