What have your relationships so far taught you?

Question

About yourself, relationships, the world in general, etc :-)

Answer 1

that you need someone whos close to you not far away... you need to talk more with the person... never pick someone who keeps many secrets

Answer 2

Where to start?

That it's hard to trust people and that doesn't always turn out well but it's really good when it does work out.

It's worth loving someone even if they don't love you too, or as much.

Passive aggression helps no one in the end.

Don't burn too many bridges, when you're done and look back you'll realize there are some people on the other side that you really miss.

Putting yourself out there and being rejected isn't as bad as never saying what you want and regretting what could have been. The regrets last a lot longer than mild embarrasment.

Pretty much everyone is insecure about something.

Don't always put your boyfriend before your friends, when you have a problem with him it's those friends that you'll need.

and the list could go on...

Answer 3

I have learned that you should always view a relationship as a game.  There are right moves and wrong moves in every different situation with every different woman.  Figure out the right actions and you will both be happy as long as the relationship lasts.  When you lose though, take it with a grain.  There is so much more to life than relationships.  Besides, when one game ends a new game begins.

Answer 4

great question!

**i learned patience, confidence, and determination.

**i learned to think for myself, and that it's okay to say "no". not everyone needs to marry, have kids, or go to church. having s*x before marriage is not the worst thing that can happen to you, and your virginity is not the most important thing you own.

**even if you don't see marriage potential in your bf/gf, you can still learn from them and be a better person because you met them.

**no matter how embarassing it is, you're neither the first nor the only one to do it, nor are you the last.

**deep inside, everybody wants everbody to be happy (with a few crazy exceptions, of course, but for your sake, don't mind them). and if you aren't happy, you aren't helping anyone.

**i learned to stand up for myself. there are men who--no, there are people who just totally get off on controlling everyone else around them, and it doesn't make sense but it's a sad fact. your life belongs to you, it's up to you to live it, not someone else.

**i learned to be more assertive and that rules don't need to be followed at all costs. hey, life happens, you kno. when somebody you like likes you back, get in there and hold onto them! love is an action sport: be either in or out, otherwise you'll both end up hurt.

**be clear about your intentions. it'll save frustration down the road.

Answer 5

I'm just out a relationship with someone 9 years older. I've learned that age doesn't matter- the likes and dislikes you share can been the same anyway. And you may even want the same things however the age gap might make it impossible to go through with them as the timing will be different for both of you. I love her but know we cant be together.

Answer 6

taught me ? when they had bad days i was always there for them and when i needed someone... i found no one to listen to me..... my problems became a c**p for them......

Answer 7

That I am always right.  Even when I'm wrong, I am right....  that and the fact that I am just too d**n s**y....

Hey Capone - you doing anything tonight?  ;-)

Answer 8

That real relationships are difficult; that living alone is worse than living with someone; that life isn't lways about getting what you want and self-satisfaction and that sometimes, you can be led up the garden path and be damaged.

Answer 9

They have taught me that they are just a waste of time, and also, that s*x is not free, even if you don't have to pay cash money for it.

Answer 10

Lots of things... but #1, is patience and compromise.

Answer 11

Oh geez where do I start with this?

My relationships have taught me an inordinate amount of patience. I've learned that not everyone deals with situations in the same way and some take slower to respond to things.

Communication is absolutely key to a relationship. You can't go off of "what ifs" or what you "think" they said.

Common interests but enough differences to keep things interesting.

For example, my husband is a very spur of the moment, fly by the seat of his pants kind of guy. At times it makes him seem irresponsible. I however prefer to have things planned out before hand so I know what I'm getting myself into. This makes me seem controling. These two completely opposite aspects of our personality have merged together and balance each other out. I'm willing to relinquish my control and just "go fot it" whether it's parasailing, sky diving or going backpacking through a foreign country. He will reign in some of his free-spirited nature and actually plan romantic evenings or trips to the beach.

Passion is the oil that keeps the flame of marriage burning strong.

The best s*x occurs when you are in a committed, loving and truly intimate relationship.

I've learned that even if we are unwilling to admit it, we don't get married just for love. We get married because we need a witness to our lives. We need someone there to say "Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it."

Life happens when you least expect it.

If you can't respect yourself then you shouldn't expect anyone else to respect you either.

You aren't always right and when pride says you should keep going and keep fighting that's when you should realize it's time to apologize and make amends.

I've learned that no matter who you are dating or married to, at least one person will ALWAYS have a problem with your relationship.

Trivial things like age and race are pointless to fret about. True love knows no boundaries.

I've learned to never go to bed angry at each other. In the morning you just feel worse than the night before.

I've learned that make up s*x really is worth fighting for.

Comfortable silences should be cherished.

I've learned that falling in love is only the first step to a happy relationship.

A million words are said in a simple smile or embrace.

I've learned that even the seemingly most unromantic men are romantic in their own special way but you sometimes have to look for it.

I've learned that even though being single is a blast, there is nothing like coming home to a set of strong arms and a reassuring voice.

Answer 12

have more self respect, don't try to please people, don't trust too easily, if you respect yourself you will not care so much about the opinions of others.

Answer 13

That men are all individuals and have widely varied character traits and approaches to relatoinships, therefore it's useless to start statements with "men are like this" or "men are like that," since it's meaningless. Same goes for women.

Also, to avoid men like James A by a 100-mile radius.

Answer 14

I just came out of a relationship a week or so ago. 2 years and 8 months. I learned that a person needs to find his/her own happiness, harmony and identity before he/she can share them with another.

Answer 15

I've learned never to allow a man to mold me into what he THINKS he wants. Once the changes take place they miss what you were when they met you.   I've learned not to allow labels in my relationships because they cause too many expectations and stress.  I've also learned not to allow a relationship to be my whole world, it shouldn't define who or what I am but rather be a part of me and my world.

Answer 16

i was in a long relationship and all i wanted to do was be with my boyfriend all day everyday eventually i realized i was making a mistake by hanging with him everyday and never my friends. ive learned its veryyy important to balance the people in your life.. because if you dont they may not always be there

Answer 17

That there's no use blaming others for my own mistakes. In hindsight I recognize that at times I've been my own biggest fan and everyone else's critic.  You can't have success in friendships trying to go through life like that.

Answer 18

mm. nothing much really.  Never had one :D

Answer 19

A Lot of things.. Patience and Communication tops though

Answer 20

I have learned that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  Don't automatically look for the beauty queens or studs when choosing a mate.  Instead, find someone who has a kind personality but has a few nice physical features.  Over time, that person will begin to look beautiful in your eyes.  DON'T jump into s*x so fast; take time to know the other person first so that you have things in common other than s*x and so that you don't risk getting dumped for being too easy, or insulting your partner into thinking that s*x is all you are interested in.  Also, be kind to yourself; never sacrifice your own needs for your partner, although you DO have to compromise sometimes.  In addition, no matter how close the two of you are, do a few things independent of each other so that you do not get into a rut, and you will have interesting things to talk about.  Also, never assume that you know what the other person is thinking.  When a dispute arises, try to consider the other person's point of view as well as your own.  When angry, count to ten and think about what you want to say instead of just blurting out the first thing that comes to your mind; you may regret it later.  If you have a stable relationship, don't try to TRADE UP to someone younger, cuter, richer, etc.  The excitement and newness in any relationship eventually settles down, and then real secure love develops.  Unfortunately, some people take this as a sign that the spark has died, and they go out looking for someone else for excitement.  This may be one of the reasons why many people fall for gorgeous b*tches or handsome badboys; the unpredictability keeps the excitement going.  This is definitely not healthy nor realistic love.  Some people grow out of it, or wisen up after being burned too many times, but some people repeat this pattern over and over.  Be thankful for what you have, and give as well as take in order to help keep a harmonious relationship going!

Answer 21

In a serious relationship, women want your attention.  If they feel taken for granted it's not pretty.

Answer 22

Do not argue with women. Just say yes and walk away.

Edit: See, two thumbs down for telling the truth. Now I will just walk away.

Answer 23

My social relationships have taught me that my reclusiveness is justified not as a response of "revulsion" but as a response of disappointment and wise wariness for the lack of Will to rise in honor and awareness that hobbles so many people.  I am overwhelmed by how many people choose to wallow in such early stages of consciousness and actively nurture and sustain and hunker down around protectively around their weaknesses, by their lack of inquiry and curiosity, by their lack of a positive sense of adventure, the lack of respect for existence and Life.  At my stage of life, people have to face despair.  But, this is not despair.  This is empirical observation about the choosen path of adrift Will-less-ness, weakness, fear and irrationality so many humans take and THEIR terrible despair for the doing so.  I've become like how Wonder Woman could run between the raindrops.

Answer 24

they taut me that guys r jus there to use women an take from us an expect us to always be ready for them...  but most they taut me i realy dont need a man in my life an can be better off without them...

Answer 25

That you/I have to Cherish who we are; we don't neither will they. To take a firm stand in who we are; in other words to remain true to ourselves; meaning don't become something to please and appease others; in the end we're the ones who are going to get burnt.  This is just life in general. Above all never give a d**n what others think; a person has to do their own thing; for them; some people are greedy; you know want it all for themselves; when they get it they aren't satisfied; it's far wiser to satisfy ourselves first and foremost; yeah be a little greedy; greed used in the right context goes along way.

Answer 26

I learn from others mistakes along with my own. What I've learned is to not get into one. Most people only care about themselves. Few are faithful. It appears from the marriage stats, that a majority feel the same way. (Most of this was learned from seeing others relationships, although a few of mine have contributed)

Answer 27

Everything in life has a price, it just depends on if you are willing to pay it.

Answer 28

If you cry more than you laugh or more than a few weeks then it´s not just a rough patch and you should reconsider the relationship

Answer 29

I'm learned that maturity is the most valuable and important thing to look for when picking friends and lovers.

Answer 30

When the grass is cutt snakes will show. If a person can do you wrong, they will do you wrong just because. Love has consequences that are just about as serious the joy or whatever.

Answer 31

I've learned too much to put here, I can say that much.  But the most important lessons I've learned are:

Communication and Compromise are key

Everything in life is a risk; you gotta take the gamble

Love changes, grows, and even rebirths itself over yrs.

How to accept without exception, and give without expectation

There are still good men out here