What helped you remain positive when you lost your love?

Question

i was dumped soon after my marriage & courting for a long time citing i was not who she wanted (a rebound relation). I found myself turn cynical & loosing faith in life long love.

Now when i am ready for a new relationship & want a lady to love & cherish forever, i find myself again at cross roads of maintaining my peace of mind & sanity and wanting an emotional & physical intimacy.

How do i shed the emotional baggage of past failed marriage & meet the new person with optimism?

Many thanks in anticipation

Answer 1

- first cool down and chill out.

- Don't get attached to failed phenomenon.

- Always think that the best is yet to come. ( u should have heard this before )

- if failure is to be counted, no one in this world would be alive. I bet.

- so.. walk over the past.. take a good little break. freak a bit and carry on.. that's life.. man.  

Answer 2

Life is not all about winning. It takes few losses for you to appreciate victory to its fullest. You may have lost before and it's never an assurance you wont lose again. You'll just have to accept that everything happens for a reason and for good. Learn to accept your fate and learn from it because those are the things which make you strong in life to accept more defeats and embrace winning at the end.

Answer 3

Have a lot of casual s*x with strangers. It helps

Answer 4

alcohol helps :)

Answer 5

Keep your head up, be yourself, and let the right girl come to you. Think about what kind of girl you want and place yourself in situations that you may meet her.

Keep in the back of your head that the one who dumped you, was not the right one for you. And she was just a chapter in your life but certainly not the whole story.  

Answer 6

alcohal does not help random s*x does not help .

its very hard .

you have to wait as hard as that will be and learn who youa re you donot want to transferr emotions its the worse thign youc an do

be true to your self do what makes you happy hy not go to a club  it really makes you feel better when people check you out or hit on you and if they dont oh well

always remeber life is but a game of chance , youll get good chances and bad ones  nothing but lessons good luck and keep positive as hard as it is .

Answer 7

It is hard for sure. Take it one day at a time. Do something just for you. That will help boost your moral. Learn to like yourself. Try praying. Best of luck.

Answer 8

I gotta admit bro, I did not deal with the betrayal well and I became cynical too.  Because my break-up resulted from DV, I also have extensive health problems due to a major head trauma and the sheer awfulness of court proceedings.

I suggest not looking for anything too deep at first.  It may devellop that way, but start slow and do your homework to make sure the same issues you had in the past do not arise again.  Emotional baggage is a danger, but going slowly helps you to work through things.

It helped for me to blame my ex for pretty much everything.  h**l, even her own family did, so I decided to believe that the majority of the reasons my ex and I failed were because of her, and a small nuber were incompatibility issues that did not make me feel negative about myself.. Sounds selfish, I know, but my counsellor said it was a good idea.

bro, in your shoes, and trying to make the best of it too.

Answer 9

That's a good question. I tend to be cynical too. And I turn down a lot of offers because I tend to compare them to my ex.

I think the 'lesson learned' is best used to make you slow down a bit and take your time. When the right one comes along hopefully it will hit you in the face, but until then stick to your guns. Good luck.

Answer 10

I think traveling and reading books will help