What if Manitoba and Quebec formed an alliance to invade parts of Ontario?

Question

They'd call it "The French and Indian War" of the 21st century. French Quebec and the Native Cree of Manitoba would argue that it's unfair Ontario goes out too far west. So they declare war on Thunderbay, shores of Lake Superior, take back Ottawa, war on 2 fronts to crush English Canada.

And there will be one special rule for the Canadian war.

"This war will not be fought using solid objects, including no fists, no guns, no swords, no bombs, no sharp objects, no flammable liquids, nothing colder than 0 celsius or warmer than 37 celsius, no toxic gasses, no biological weaponry, no harmful chemicals."

That leaves us with paint, water, maple syrup, verbal scares, "playing really crappy Brittney Spears" music to drive others out of town, eye-staring contests, hockey challenges, curling, and last but not least, using ipod videos to scare people away because they're being taped.

Who would win this war? Ontario or French/NAtive Canada?

Answer 1

Fricken Quebec should be invaded.  Jerks stole my truck when I was in Montreal a few years ago!!

Answer 2

I guess you do not know a lot about Canada...............

If this is an online game plan, I'd think twice if I were you.

Answer 3

According to your Rules of Conduct for this war, hockey would not be allowed, unless you remove all physical contact from the sport for purposes of the war...

You should probably use Foosball tables instead.

As for the winners? Depends. Is Ontario allowed to ally with other provinces?

Will Newfoundland declare itself neutral like Switzerland, or be forced to chose sides with Quebec or Ontario? (In my experience, they are not happy with either governments)

Will my home province, New Brunswick, be divided because of our bilingualism and cause a civil war of its own? Will the anglophones forming the majority decide to start deporting us Acadians again?

If I am forced to fight, I guess I will have to learn how to play the fiddle and drive my enemies away with fancy Acadian jigs.

Answer 4

That'd be cool.  Ontario wouldn't stand a chance.  Manitoba and Quebec will have already taken over control of the country while Ontario continues to discuss and vote on their options in a committee!

Answer 5

the entire universe would implode into it self and britney spears would be the ruler and our new currency would be cocaine!

Answer 6

well, you certainly have a very big imagination.

but that would not happen because people have better things to do, like drink and what not in peace and unity.

Answer 7

Ya they will come into Ontario and i`d crack open a bottle of Crown Royal and start pouring the shots by the end of the night they will have forgoten why they were there.