What if my husband talk to his exgirlfiend?

Question

I had already told my husband i didnt like him talking to his exgirlfriends even if it was a very old time one. and i found out he did find her on a network site and reach out to her. i told him didnt want him to contact her and next day she replied. nothing crazy just asking about family etc. but i found out as i asked and he had deleted the messages. i was able to retrieve them and was very very upset as i felt he was doing things behind my back.What should i do? am i being crazy about it? or is it normal for me to have this rule as i dont want this.

Answer 1

same with me that my wife cheating me with her ex boyfriend after i married her for 23 yrs and has 4 kids.. what i did ?  I SWALLOW MY PRIDE  because of my everlasting love to her and my children and depend all the rest to our almighty God the outcome of our life.forget it and focus all your effort the remaining space of your life to the kids and urself too.

Answer 2

my dad ones told my husband why get married if your not going to listen. marriage is about respect and doing what each other wants to make it work. i am sure if he made rules for you on x's you would follow them and x is a x. if he cant listen and make it work , tell him there is the door and go to your x. this is a marriage make it work or go.  

Answer 3

If there is nothing going on, then why is he deleting the messages? He should not, in my opinion have contact with her unless they have a child together or something. You shouldn't feel bad about snooping either, the only reason you are snooping is that there is something you feel is wrong or there have been other signs lately that have caused you to feel insecure or up tight in your marriage. He should respect you enough not to talk to her, even know, they might be nothing more then just friends. Confront him again about it, if he doesn't want to stop talking to her and the other x's then you need to find a neutral 3rd party or counselor and sit down and talk about it because I feel that these are signs of problems ahead. You have to communicate, both parties do.  

Answer 4

You probably feel worried. You know, good old fashioned worried. You are married, so that's pretty threatening for you to hear he is looking up old girlfriends. He's more curious than anything, he's probably just wondering about them. He's feeling nostalgic. I would let him but if it got more intense, i'd ask if he would want to be lookin me up in about 10 years to see how i've been!

Answer 5

pose as one of his exs online and gather evidence for a juicy divorce settlement

Answer 6

no i don't think your wrong, i would feel the same way if i were in that situation, thats why i do not talk to old guy friends expecialy if they have a wife because i know how i would feel if my hubby started talking to an old girl friend. any way what im saying is your "rule" is in reason, and why is he deleating her messages?  

Answer 7

I think your request is reasonable given the number of people that have affairs. Although its not that uncommon to be curious about where your exes ended up and it may be innocent to start, its playing with fire. Rekindling old flames if very easy to do. As long as he has no secrets, isn't hiding anything and you have full access to all correspondence i wouldn't over react. But i would keep an eye on it and make sure that the conversation keeps you and his family in the topic and there are no secrets.  

Answer 8

You are overreacting and it looks like jealousy is kicking in. Pretend it isn't his ex girlfriend. Just be happy that he's not sleeping with her.

Answer 9

I agree that he shouldn't be doing those sort of things behind your back. And it maybe completely innocent, but still...he is with you and there really shouldn't be any need for him to do what he did. It is different than if they ran into each other on the street and struck up a conversation with her because it would be a little rude not to, but he intentionally sought her out and knew you didn't want him to and that is the difference.

Sometimes the only way for them to "get it" is to have them see it from your point of view. For instance, say something like " I guess since you think it is okay to chat online with your exes, maybe I can look up "Mike" and see how he is doing?" I don't normally believe in that, but he needs to be put in your shoes for a few minutes.

He is disrespecting your feelings by doing this. You have every right to be angry and I am sorry for your hurt. Good luck and hope this helps.

Answer 10

That is a sign of cheating, tell him that.  

Answer 11

Well, I wouldn't go so far, as to it being a rule.  But, Ask him, why he would want to talk to them, in the first place, since they are x's.  Don't ask him in an angry way.  Ask him in a loving way, without getting into an argument about it.