What if somebody you loved and trusted lied to you on separate occasions?

Question

I've always been fond of my Uncle, and looked up to him as my fatherly figure (My real father really wasn't a "hands on" father, my Uncle is). Now, I just moved in with him and his family about a week ago, and today alone I've found out about him either "sweeping something under the rug", or straight out lying to me, and many of his other family members as well.

I can see his reasons for lying, or not letting others in on what this is all about, but he and I usually talk about everything, and he usually trusts me with this type of thing. Now don't get me wrong, he's not a bad guy at all, that's why its extremely out of character for him.

Aside from that, he even told me that I would be just like his children, and that he would treat me no differently than them, but his children (My cousins) knew about this, and yet I lacked knowledge until one of my cousins has notified me about this early this afternoon..

What should I think? Its some what of a major thing he didn't let me know about, and I personally heard him tell his daughter not to mention it to me. (She was on the phone next to me, and I could hear what he was telling her) It hurts to know that he doesn't want me to know this, you know?

It's almost as if he can't trust me with something, and I feel somewhat betrayed by him for lying to me a few times in the past 2 days, according to what my cousin said. (And I can actually trust this cousin). Should my relationship with him change?

Your thoughts/input/ideas?

Please/Thank You.

Answer 1

I am afraid my answer has to be short but sweet - if anyone lied to me & I found out then what love or trust I had for them would immediately die.

I would soon turn around & walk away.

Sorry, but there it is. Best wishes. UK

Answer 2

everyone lies. maybe you lied on good reason? give him the benefit of the doubt. and talk to him like you have said here.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?...

please answer mine? i'd really appreciate it.

Answer 3

A lot depends on how old you are.

Some depends on what kinds of lies he is telling... is he trying to spare you some anguish or insecurity? Is another family member creating static?

OR...

Is he hiding a bad habit of some sort... drugs, alchohol, gambling...?

You may just have to "grin and bear it" until you can get to where you are self-supporting and launch out of there at 18.

In other words, you can learn to take what your uncle says with a grain of salt, and get clarification (inside information) from the cousin.

Start making some real plans for yourself... investigate vocational training at your schools, consider an after-school job and saving your money (so you can launch), and do your best to be a "good kid"... clean up after yourself, do whatever chores without being asked, and stay out of trouble.