What if we could give Adoptees a voice to be heard by many?

Question

Its just an idea i had. What if everyone here asks everyone they know to email Oprah asking to give adoptees a voice? This would happen on a certain day at a certain time that would get Oprah''s attention! Between all of us and our friends we could make a difference. Maybe if we all work together we can make more people aware. This is not the legacy of Adoption we want handed down to our children.

An Adoptee should take this over.

It was just an idea sorry if its lame.

Answer 1

The problem, if this site is any indication, is that there doesn't seem to be a unified voice coming from adoptees.  Just look at recent postings and recent views.

-pro-reform (though there are differences in what that means)

-anti-reform (focus on privacy)

-family preservation (encouraging bio moms to keep kids)

-foster homes-need for reform

-adoption is great

-adoption is horrible

-adoptees are wounded

-adoptees are no different than anyone else.

-aparents are selfish

-aparents are saints

-bio fathers not respected

-bio fathers need to take more responsibility.

I'm not saying that any of these views are more right than the others, just that we have such different views.  I am not sure as adoptees we have one predominate voice.

Other groups have mobilized around a single issue; like sexual abuse survivors who fought for longer prison terms.  In order for a voice to be heard it has to be strong and it has to be unified. Adoptees need to focus on what we have in common.

Maybe the dominant voice is open records, or foster care reform...I don't know but I'm not so sure it is being heard by those outside the community.

I love Oprah. Perhaps she could have a show reflecting the diversity of these views. Maybe it would help. I'm sure she would do  a great job.

If you are organizing mom5girlz, I'm in.

Answer 2

I don't want anyone speaking for me.  The last thing we need are more people out there claiming htat we're damaged as a result of our adoptions.

Answer 3

I am game for it as well.  Just come up with a date and a time and I will be there.

Answer 4

I'd love whatever exposure we could get in order to get our equal civil rights back.  

One poster asked, in regard to OBC's, :

"But why only adoptees? How about the perspective of bio parents and adoptive parents as well."

For a good reason.  Access to a person's birth record is between the state and the person, adopted or non-adopted.  The non-adopted don't need their parents coming in to give their perspectives on their now adult son's and daughter's access to their own factual records of birth.  It is between the state and the person accessing his or her record -- no one else.

***ETA:***

Camille,

So-called "birthparent privacy" is NOT the reason for sealed records, although those who want to keep those records sealed from us would LOVE for you to believe that.

The adoption law itself, as written, in all of the 44 states that have sealed records, is proof alone that birthparent anonymity does not and legally cannot exist under it's laws.

I'm posting my summation of the laws that prove that here:

Okay, for those who think there is a right to "birthparent privacy" under the law, here's the adoption law as written. Adoption law, by the way, is only under state jurisdiction.

This is an issue of an entire group of citizens, adopted adults, being barred from a right non-adopted citizens have. Unequal treatment under the law is discrimination by the state holding the records. This discrimination turns access to one's own birth record from a right to a privilege, based solely on the adoptive status of a person, a condition over which the adopted person had no say or control. No other citizens but adopted adults are expected to grovel before a judge or ask someone else’s permission in order to obtain access to their own birth records. This places adopted citizens in a position of being considered suspect and placed in a secondary class compared to non-adopted citizens.

At one point in history, no one was denied the right to his or her own birth record, adopted or not adopted. The sealing of these records began in the 1930's to hide the shame of out-of-wedlock pregnancy and infertility. Sealing records was also a means allowing adoptive parents privacy from birth parents. Some states did not seal records until much later, while some states, Alaska and Kansas, never sealed records.

For anyone who believes records are sealed in order to protect the anonymity of the natural parents, consider the actual law.

1. It is highly notable that records only seal upon the finalization of an adoption. They only stay sealed if an adoption remains intact. They do not seal upon relinquishment, are not sealed while the child is in foster care and are not sealed while the child is in an adoptive placement that is not yet finalized by the court. How does this protect a natural parent's anonymity?

2. If an adoption fails, i.e. the adoptive parents "return" the child, the original birth record with the natural parents' names on it, is unsealed and re-established as the child's only legal birth certificate. How does this protect the natural parents' anonymity? Incidentally, I'm sad to say that there have been stories in the papers lately about failed adoptions occurring.

3. Adult adopted citizens in states with sealed records can gain access to their birth records as long as they petition the court and get a court order. How does this protect a natural parent's anonymity?

4. No one has ever been able to bring forth a relinquishment document that promises anonymity. Even the greatest opponents of open records, such as the National Council For Adoption, has ever been unable to produce such a document.

5. In some states with sealed records, it is the prerogative of the adoptive parents or the adoptee (if old enough to state a desire) as to whether or not the original birth certificate is sealed. The natural parents have no say. How does this protect a natural parent's anonymity?

Hence, there is no guarantee of anonymity or confidentiality, nor can such be promised under the law as written. Oddly enough, however, I have met natural parents who asked if and when they could contact their relinquished children. They were told that upon reaching 18 years of age, the adopted person could retrieve his or her original birth certificate containing the natural parents' names. Upon reuniting many years later, these natural parents were surprised to find that what they were told didn't pan out because no one had told them that the records were retroactively sealed, despite the information they were given.

Although this is not truly an issue about reunion, the topic always brings with it discussion of reunion. Therefore, I shall briefly cover this issue. Reunions happen all the time under sealed records laws. Several states that allow all adopted adults to obtain their original birth records also have contact preference forms. This is a form that natural parents can fill out stating whether or not they wish to be contacted. The preference can be changed at any time. It is filed with the original birth certificate. A copy of it is given to the adopted person if and when s/he obtains the original birth certificate. Because the adopted person knows right away that the natural parent does not want to be contacted, this greatly, greatly decreases the risk of unwanted contact. In states that do not grant access, natural parents and adopted people will continue to find one another, but there will be no information available as to the preference for contact.

Like other citizens, adopted persons and natural parents are capable of handling their own relationships, without state interference. They do not need others speaking for them or deciding what is best for them as though they were children incapable of doing so themselves. This is an infringement of the free association enjoyed by other citizens in our society.

Sealed records are also an infringement of an adopted citizens' right to privacy under the Constitution. The right to privacy in the Constitution refers to privacy from government intrusion, not from other citizens making contact. There is no Constitutional right to anonymity.

Just as adopted citizens are asking only to have the same rights, no more and no less, as other citizens, birthparents should have the very same rights, no more and no less, than other citizens. This means no special anonymity provision.

Although I compiled this from studying adoption code, you may learn more at http://www.b******s.org.  b*****d Nation is the largest adoptee rights organization in the country, and was influential in the passage of bills that have reinstated our equal access rights in Alabama, Oregon, New Hampshire and Maine

Answer 5

???????????????????Sure

Answer 6

I think that it's a great idea.  If Oprah is not receptive is there anyone else that people can think of?  Maybe Ann Curry or someone in the news media?

Answer 7

Good Luck I have wrote about everyone I could think of to tell them my son's story and to help inform fathers of what to do and no luck. It's on u tube that's all.

Answer 8

Hi Mom5grlz,

Thank you for bringing this idea up, it's not a lame idea at all!  You're right, this is not the legacy of adoption that should be handed down to our children.  I agree with you that the majority of people do not understand what rights American adoptees are denied.  Contacting Oprah actually has been discussed on the adoptee forum before, has not been followed through with yet.  

There is no doubt that Oprah is powerful in the media, and has a large, caring audience.  She was even a teen mother herself (the baby died)

I'm in favor of giving your idea a try.  All efforts help get the message out there.  Whoever wants to organize it, please post the date & time we should all contact her.  Thanks again for suggesting it.

julie j

reunited adoptee

Answer 9

I have always thought John Stossel from 20/20 would be our best bet.

Answer 10

Oprah has been consistently uncaring when it comes to adoptees and natural parents. I think an email campaign was tried before, however I can't remember exactly when.  

That being said - why not? If at first you don't succeed and all that, right?

Especially with enough notice. It shouldn't be so far in the future that people lose interest, but it should be far enough in advance so that anyone who was interested could get the word out via blogs, forums, mailing lists, etc. Then, all emails could be sent after normal business hours so they would be received all at once the next day. They even have the show idea form on the website

http://www.oprah.com/email/reach/email_s...

I'd do it, and I'd get announcements out as well on my blog and the lists I belong to.

Answer 11

I don't think it's lame at all. It's a great idea. I think adoptees deserve a chance to have Oprah discuss the issue of OBC's on national T.V.

But why only adoptees? How about the perspective of bio parents and adoptive parents as well.

ETA: Point taken LaurieDB-I was thinking of the privacy of bio parents who wish to remain anonymous (which is initially the reason, I think, for closed records). But you're right, I understand and agree that adoptees need/want the information and not necessarily contact. Go for it!