What is a better term for "Birth Mother" or "Birth Father" that would be less confusing to an adopted child?

Question

All I can think of is progenitors. So much for being less confusing.

Answer 1

Tummy Mommy

First mom and First dad

Honestly, I think birthmother and birthfather are fine.  The words aren't confusing, the concept can be.

Get some good kid's books if you don't have them, and go from there.  TONS of good adoption books are out there.

Good Luck!

Answer 2

I don't understand why people go through with an adoption, ( which makes a child have 2 sets of parents ) and then they don't want to TELL the child.

Awkward questions? Try being ADOPTED. Thats awkward in itself, but what makes it even MORE awkward is people trying to HIDE it from you.

My advice is to get comfortable with the idea that your adopted child will ALWAYS have 2 sets of parents. Every child in adoption DOES. Regardless of the impact of each parents life onto the adoptee, there are still 4, maybe even more.

If you're not comfortable with it, how do you ever expect your adopted child to be able to come to you to talk about it if YOU'RE not even ready too? You should have been ready to talk about it, before you even signed the papers to become her/his legal parent.

Its time to talk open and honestly about adoption and its impact in YOUR life and the reality of the situation for ALL of you. Your child will understand a lot better if you're comfortable and honest about it. There is ALWAYS enough room to love MORE people. Keeping things from adoptees isn't a way to spread the word.

Mother, fathers, mama (name here) and dada (name here) etc. etc.

ETA: no i don't think it "clouds" the issue, because shes already experienced it. She already knows on a level somewhere within her. Life is life. If it happened it happened. I believe in telling children about it from the moment they lose their family. Never stop talking about it from then on. So no, clouding the issue? or clouding the "image" you're trying to portray?

Answer 3

well I'm adopted and my mom told me when i was like 2 and she always told me that i had another mommy that had me in her tummy and loved me very much but wanted me to have a mommy and a daddy that would also love me very much .

i took it as the parents i had are my parents cause they raised me but i do have another mom so to say but she's not really my mom she just carried me in her tummy is how i used to look at now that I'm older i see it as that i do have 2 moms and i can love them both.  there's really no way you can call them any thing else besides birth parents and bio. mom or dad, birth mother father.  i think calling them birth mother or birth mom isn't really that confusing if you explain it in way that says that the other mom and dad are birth parents and you are their mom and dad

Answer 4

"But I don't want to refer to her as "Mother" just yet because that would most likely lead to very awkward questions."

Awkward questions for you or for her? You sound more concerned about your situation than hers. If you don't like "mother" try "mom", although either term would be appropriate.

Answer 5

I am Gershom's biggest fan today! Her answer was 100% accurate and perfect. I have nothing to add. She said it much better than I ever could.

Even though some of these answers aren't what you want to hear (I've been there myself), PLEASE read them carefully and consider them. Many of the people on here (Gershom included) were adopted as children and they KNOW. Read what they have to say and take it to heart.

Best wishes to you.

Answer 6

I would tell my child that someone else carried them, and I got to raise them...I think that birth mother and birth father is fine but you could also say first mom, first dad...but I think that progenitors will confuse a kid more...