What is a good age to start the puberty talk with my daughter?

Question

She is 7. Doctor says puberty could start at 8 and she should know everything by then. I was 13 not 8. Please help!

Answer 1

I found most things out between the ages of 6 and 11. Your daughter should know almost everything already so just go over everyhitng with her to make sure she knows. My mom talked to me about it when I was 9 or 10...I cant really remember. I hope this helped.

-Tara

Answer 2

It shouldn't be a 1 time big talk - just take any opportunity to teach her these things at an age appropriate level throughout her life. Make sure she knows that you will answer all her questions and just be open and honest with her about everything.

Answer 3

I got the talk at 8. I didnt start puberty till 11. A really good thing to get her is the American Girl Caring and Keeping of you book. Its totally age appropriate but explains everything.

Answer 4

The answer is NOW. talk to her about getting older and lead into the puberty thing. This helps her understand what the other kids are talking about that are older and it isn't a surprise or frightening to her when it happens. If you don't think this does happen check out Yahoo questions and the young teens asking their peers questions regarding tampons cramps, do they bleed while they are swimming etc. It is

quite sad that the parents have not prepared them for all this.

They wouldn't be half as frightened or embarrassed.  It will also give you an idea of what you should be telling her. If you are embarrassed do it anyway and tell your daughter that you are a embarrassed because YOUR mother never told you what you need to know. Don't make her feel ashamed of it.

Good luck!

Answer 5

It's *so* much easier to talk about that stuff before they're older and all embarrassed.  When they're 7-9 they're interested but it's remote enough that it doesn't seem terribly personal and embarrassing.  (And though she likely won't start puberty till later, how horrible it would be to be behind the curve with the conversation!)  Definitely talk to her now.  If you start a pattern of discussing things like that in a low-key way (it doesn't all have to be part of one huge "talk") you'll be in a much better position to have her come to you with questions when she's older.

Answer 6

it cant hurt to h**l her now.  Just be sure to tell her it may or may not happen for a yar or much more.  Be careful, I had a friend scare her daughter into wearing panty liners for a year and a half.

She should know what may happen and a bit on why but you can get into everything once it does.

Answer 7

It isn't unlikely that she'd start young. My daughter is 8 and changes are happening. I did a series of talks about it, usually when I knew she'd be the most comfortable, while we were driving alone, while I am in the bath because no one bothers us in the bathroom when we're talking. She knows about the period, the b***s, she's already getting hair, we talked about it in discussion type situations now we just have an open dialogue about it. If the has questions i answer them in private and I tell her things that she might need to know, I watch her progress and inform of what the changes mean along the way. It's not a major thing we just talk about it like hey it's gonna happen, so what!? It's a lot easier than it seems, the period thing freaked her out but we just kept the dialogue open and honest and it's fine with her now. Good luck!

Answer 8

Sooner the better. It's never too soon. Tell her now- and you can always 'review' when she actually starts.

Answer 9

like 11 or 12

Answer 10

Definitely 8. My mother didn't start till she was 15, but I started shortly after my 9th birthday. It's much better to tell her now before she start than to try to calm her down when she starts in the next couple of years and has no clue whats going on.

Answer 11

umm ages 7-13

Answer 12

I respectfully disagree with the idea that it is never too soon.  What ever happened to the innocence of childhood?  

But, there is also learning by observation.  My kids seem to be aware of my period, just because I can never go to the bathroom undistrubed.  My daughter will also go fetch me "one of those pink wrapped things under my sink" from time to time.  She is 6 and has told me when kids turn into grown ups they get hair on their privates and get big boobies.  We don't run around naked, but I often shower while my kids are in the tub.  

To answer your question, if you had a later onset of puberty, your daughter will too.  Most girls have a MAJOR (several inches) growth spurt before the period starts.  There are surely signs that things are starting.  So, I would maybe just make your daughter aware, in a natural way -- like letting her know that you have a period (Mommy can't go in the pool she has her period this week, or whatever  Let her see your products.  But I don't think I would get into the ovary, egg, pregnancy, uterine lining thing just yet.  I guess I think childhood is just so short as it is, and to me all this information, while helpful, useful, and certainly important, it is also a little bit of a loss to their innocence.  

You can also talk to her about that when ladies grow from girls to ladies their b*****s grow, same for the hair.  Just as simple as -- did you know mommy shaves her underarms and legs.  This will lead to questions, and for her the knowledge that someday the hair will be there on her too.

Good luck.

Answer 13

Shouldn't she already know that? That's one thing about parents who don't let there kids watch shows like south park they will have to explain everything to them.

Answer 14

Probably soon, when she's about 8. Because then if she blooms early she won't be shocked lol. That's when my mom talked to me, and I'm 14 now and I was a late bloomer but it was nice to know because you hear kids at school talk and don't want to feel clueless.

Love Haleigh<3

Answer 15

tell her soon

Answer 16

Wow, everyone has some great answers. I'd just like to add that it's better she finds out from you then from her friends or TV. Don't make it awkward, and don't go into " we need to have a little talk." Start off simple, because 7 is still quite young. But much better that she knows now than gets caught off guard. My mom took it seriously when I like 11-ish and I was always worrying that I'd get my period somewhere in public. Don't make it sound scary! However, I know ppl whose Mom's don't even know they are menstrating and this is highschool! Don;t be cut outta the loop!

Answer 17

There really is no magical age...the public school system seems to think so but I do not. If she is going to start changing soon she needs to know. If she does not know why her body is changing when it does she will be very confused and upset. If she is changing so soon chances are on your husband's side of the family girls mature earlier.

Answer 18

I started puberty when I was 9. It would be a good idea to give her the puberty talk when she is 8/9. it sounds like a young age, but these days more and more kids are starting puberty earlier and earlier ( im sure in 10 years the average age to start menstruating will be 9 or 10 ).

Tell her about basic puberty, growth, etc. I wouldn't give her the period talk yet though, because then she may become curious and look through/try menstrual products ( for ex. if you have any in the house ). I started doing that, i was extremely curious when my mom told me about periods when i was 9, so i would look through her pads and tampons lol.

In 5th grade most elementary schools show them the period movie and all that. I would let her see the movie then give her the talk about that afterward and teach her basic period things. 10 is a good age.

I learned about puberty and periods when I was 9... i knew about s*x when I was 9! ( Im serious! ) my mom made me buy a bra, then i started having a bunch of questions, so she just told me everything. Like EVERYTHING! But i really didn't start to actually understand what she meant until I was about 11.

It may seem like this is too early to tell this information, but she could wake up one morning when she is 9 and ask why she had red stains on her sheets. You never know, good luck:)

Answer 19

my daughter came to me about her puberty problems she just said that she was bleeding in somewhere she was not supose to be bleeding and I asked where she pointed then we had the talk we went to wal*mart and I showed her the kinds of pads and tampons and all that we brought both home pads and tampons and I told her where to put them and we found out which one she liked the best. But you can let her come to you or her underwear should get bloody during puberty you could ask her about it then start in on how it is normal but she doesn't have to just bleed it out in her underwear she can us tampones or pads to keep her panties clean.

Answer 20

It's unlikely that she would start at 8, but it does happen. My elementary school started going over the basics in 4th grade...just about periods and stuff like that. And they spilt the girls and boys up. So after we had that in school, my mother asked if i had any more questions about it. I would say maybe in the next year or two, you should just explain to her what a period is, and what will happen, and how she should take care of it. I also didn't get my period til I was 13, but my friend got hers when she was 10.

Answer 21

get her a book that talks about puberty that is what my mom did with me.

Answer 22

Now, keep putting it off and you can have a grandbaby coming along in a couple of years. Ignorance is what fuels teen pregnancies so let her learn now what she should expect and gradually increase the level of the talk every year. Tell her that if she has any questions, any at all, that she should come to you. "It starts with a little child knowing the difference between a boy and a girl. Then as they grow older, girls and boys change physically and emotionally, this is called puberty. You will get a period and you will start to develop into a young woman. These things are your s*x organs developing. s*x is something for people who want to have babies." That's all she really needs to know now. But if she has any questions, any at all, answer them honestly and openly with her, even if she doesn't seem old enough. Then as the years go by, she will come to you when she needs you for things like this.

Answer 23

The puberty age changes from person to person, but the cats' mother is right, start now. It is better to have this talk early and have her prepared then wait and have a hard time explaining it later. Besides my mom told me years before I started and it helps to already know everything. If you know the facts you won't listen to the dumb old rumors about puberty. Seriously, you would not believe the wise tails. Ex: When your on your period don't go to the beach : )

Answer 24

I was very uncomfortable talking about this with my mother, even though we were very close, it was just too awkward to talk about it. the first time we did talk about it was when I was 11 and it was the day I got it. it made it worse because I was older and it made it almost embarrassing to tell her. tell your daughter now, while she's young.  that way she won't be so shy about asking important questions.

Answer 25

i would start dicussing this type of stuff with her around the ages of 8-10. if shes mature, and you think she can handle it, then i would say go ahead and discuss it at an earlier age, like 8 years old.

but if she asks questions, i would answer them. and then, along with all of these questions, i would share with her all of the things about puberty.

good luck to you :)

Answer 26

i hit puberty at 12, my daughter at 10. she knew what was up at age 9.

Answer 27

Oh, let me tell you a story.  My sister started her period at 8 years old.  She went into the bathroom one morning and came back in our room CRYING, SOBBING AND SCARED TO DEATH because her underpants were full of blood.  She thought she was dying.  She REALLY though she was DYING.  I had just learned about the birds and the bees from my mom (I was 13 and hadn't started menstruating yet).  So I calmed sis, told her it was normal, I was so proud of her becoming a woman, told her what VERY LITTLE I knew, and sent her to mom.  Unbeknownst to mom, I had been abused by my father since the age of around 4 years old.  So even when my mom gave me the the very sketchy infomation she did, I still didn't understand.  I only knew that if I didn't have a period, I might be pregnant (mom had left dad about a year before).  I started menstruating about a month and a half later.  So for about 6 weeks, at 13 years old, I thought I was pregnant. I didn't know how long it took for a baby to be conceived (heck - I didn't even know the word), or how long after that a baby was born.  I had seen the films in school, but HAD NO COMPLETE INFORMATION.  

Please, TELL HER NOW.  Start with no one is ever allowed to touch your special place until you are grown up more.  (like 30, lol...)  Then, the basics (babies are born out of a physical connection between a woman and a man who want to stay together forever and ever and ever and ever). Answer any and all questions honestly (no cabbage patch or stork stuff, please).  My daughter and son asked me at about 7 years old, and I told them about the physical connection.  They said the boy's pee-pee goes in the girl?  Where?  In the girl's pee-pee?  I said no, there is another special spot.  They asked "In the butt?  (while I was trying to think of how to tell them without freaking them out or scaring them), I finally said no, there is another special place in between those places on a girl.  They needed time to absorb this information (and explore, I'm sure - oh not with each other!), and I made sure they knew that if they had more questions they could ask me anytime.  Which they did over the course of the next month.  You could enlist the assistance of a doctor if you need to.  My daughters and son started talking about this with their kids when they were about 4.  It's not an easy thing to do, but an ABSOLUTE MUST.  In this day and age, it is never too early.  It WILL NOT make them promiscuous.  I promise.  It WILL give them knowledge, which is the power to say no.  Godspeed.

My mother asked me once why I never told her about my dad.  I told her I didn't know what he was doing to me was wrong.  I just was trying to be a good girl and do what I was told.

Answer 28

I think a good age would be when you see she is starting to grow up.