What is a good joke??

Question

a VERY funny joke!!!

Answer 1

which can make me laugh like h**l like this one~~!!!

A father and son snake are out for a nice afternoon slither.

The son asks, "Dad is we poisonous snakes?"

The father replies proudly, "Yes son, we are rattler snakes! Why do you ask son?"

"Because DAD, I just bit my tongue!!"

joke2

The kids filed back into class Monday morning.

They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then share with the class how they were successful.

Little Mary led off, "I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30," she said proudly, "my sales approach was to appeal to the customer's civil spirit and I credit that approach for my success."

"Very good," said the teacher.

Little Sally was next, "I sold magazines," she said, "I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them abreast of current events."

"Very good, Sally," said the teacher.

Eventually, it was Little Johnny's turn. The teacher held her breath. Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher's desk. "$2,467" he said.

"$2,467!" cried the teacher, "What in the world were you selling?"

"Toothbrushes," said Little Johnny.

"Toothbrushes?" echoed the teacher, "How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?"

"I found the busiest corner in town," said Little Johnny, "I set up a chocolate chip cookie stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample.

They all said, “This tastes like p**p!" Then I replied, “It is. Wanna buy a toothbrush?!!"

joke3

A single guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet. So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet. After some discussion, he finally bought a centipede (a 100-legged bug) that came in a little white box which served as the bug's house.

He took his purchase home, found a good location for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to church with him. So he asked the centipede in the box, "Would you like to go to church with me today? We will have a good time." But there was no answer from his new pet.

This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked him again, "How about going to church with me and receive blessings?" But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.

So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation. He decided to ask him one more time; this time putting his face up against the centipede's house and shouting, "HEY IN THERE! WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO CHURCH WITH ME AND LEARN ABOUT THE LORD?"

(YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE THIS!)

And a little voice came out of the box.........

"I heard you the first time.......I'm putting on my shoes!"

Answer 2

Jeus gets this clothes from this tailor dude. And when he buys his stuff there everyone learns he does and buys stuff from that tailor too. One day Jeus says to the tailor:Everyone loves the clothes you made how about we work together. You make the clothes I model them for everyone. The Tailor agrees and they need to decide a name. The tailor comes with with The Tailor and Jeus. But Jeus says Lets call it LORD and TAILOR!

Answer 3

what did cinderella say when she got to the ball?

eckkkkkkk(gagging sound)

Answer 4

Q. How do you stop an Iraqi from drowning?....

A. Take you foot off his head lol..

Three men are in a bar an American, Frenchman, and Australian.

the american says when i have s*x with my wife and finish up my wife raises 2 inches off the bed,

The frenchman says ahh when i make love to my wife she raises 6 inches above the bed,

The Australian says thats nothin when i f**k MY wife i finish up then wipe my c**k on the curtains and she hits the bloody roof...

Answer 5

There was a Marine walking through the desert with a man from Iraq and a man from Iran.  They tripped on somthing and found out it was a lamp.  After rubbing it a Genie popped out and said I will grant each of you a wish.  The man from Iran requested that walls be built around the city 300 feet high where no one could get in or out.  The man from Iraq requested the same.   When the genie looked at the marine, the marine grinned and said I wish you'd fill em with water.  HOORAH!!!

Answer 6

there's a preist a minister and a rabbi, and they're golfing, they're trying to decide how much money to give to charity,

priest says, "draw a circle on the ground, throw money way into the air, and whatevver lands in the circle we give to charity"

minister says, "no, draw circle on the ground, throw money way into the air, whatever lands outside of the circel, we give to charity"

rabbi says, " no, we throw the money way into the air, whatever we want, we keep,"

Answer 7

A man was walking one day when he stumbled up on sh*t.. he then bent down & said:

"look like sh*t", he then proceeded to touch it to be sure..

"feel like sh*t"

"smell like sh*t"

"taste like sh*t"

he then exclaimed "lawd God a sh*t, thank God I didn't step into it!"  

Answer 8

Three students are taking a psychology class, one white, one black, the other Mexican. One day after class the professor calls them all up and says

"Guys listen, you're all failing this class, but I'll give you one more chance, if you can come to class tomorrow dressed as an emotion and I can't guess what it is then I'll give you an A."

So the next day comes, the white guy walks in naked, painted red head to toe, the professor looks at him and says

"Red, anger, too easy."

The white guy sits down. The black guy comes in naked, painted green head to toe, the professor looks at him and says

"Come on, green with envy, jealousy"

The black guy sits down. The Mexican comes in naked, with a pear on the end of his d**k. the professor looks at him, and thinks and thinks and thinks, then says

"Look man I've been teaching this class for 30 years, and I can't figure out what emotion you are."

The Mexican smiles and says

"****** dis pear"

Answer 9

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

The kid replies, "Yeah."

The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike."

The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.

The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?"

Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did."

The kid continued, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the d**k underneath the horse, instead of on top."

Answer 10

(might be offensive, but it's all in good fun, no harm meant!)

How do you drown a blonde?

Stick a mirror on the bottom of a pond.

Answer 11

Sign on wall of a clothing store in Japan pointing out where the fitting rooms were :

.................LADIES HAVE FITS UPSTAIRS..................

Answer 12

Q: A g*y couple and a straight couple are leaving for vacation in the morning...who gets there first?

A: The g*y couple, because they packed their sh*t the night before

Answer 13

what do u call a sheep without legs?

A CLOUD