What is a good quick response to this very annoying situation?

Question

We are all busy people, work full time, have family and different groups of friends and I find it hard to regularly keep in touch with everyone...ie. Phone calls, texts or emails every week. Sometimes it can get to 4-6 weeks without contact and I am like '...ooooh, I haven't spoken to 'Kate' in awhile....I'd better see how she is.' So I contact Kate and am met with 'I haven't heard from you in awhile' or 'Long time no speak' ...these expressions really annoy me because Kate (and others) have also made no attempt to get in touch with me. So why is always left up to me to make contact and why am I the bad guy? For the record, i am talking about people who have been friends for years...not just the ones that drop off after a awhile anyway.

Answer 1

You could just say, "Yeah, you haven't called (or emailed) me in quite a while.  You must be very busy."

Maybe people feel a bit guilty once you do contact them, so to make themselves feel better about it they try to blame you.

Answer 2

case in point; my best friend works 40-60 hours a week, goes to college full time and has 3 children at home (15,9,8) and a stepchild with a month old baby also at home.

I wait for my friend to call me because I know her time is at a premium. My schedule is not nearly as busy as hers.

When she calls, she will say

"I just have ten minutes, but I wanted to spend that time with you"

She then fills me in on obligations she has for the next several days and says

"Will you be around thursday? I would really love to spend time with you, will 1:00 pm be alright?

good, I will talk to you then, I won't be free again until saturday at noon"