What is a good routine for kids when their parents are separated?

Question

My husband and I separated a month ago. Up until now we have been having the kids with us on multiple and different days. Now that school is about to start I was wondering if anyone knows of a good routine for the kids to have. I want to make a schedule so that we know who has the kids on what days. I don't really want to split them up either. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

Good Luck...If someone can give you the "BEST" answer to this one I sure would love to hear it!

Answer 2

It's not so much "what routine" as much as consistent routine that's important. I believe the kids need to be able to feel the stability and that they belong. It's hard on them when they are going back and forth all of the time. different home, different bed, different rules, different lives. the school week with one parent seems to work best. The courts have made a pretty standard schedule based on lots of experience and I have seen it work. Dad picks up kids sunday night and mom picks up kids friday after school.... for example. or even every other week, the parents can switch.

What ever you do be consistent

Answer 3

It would probably be more 'manageable' if you did two days on and two days off and every other weekend.  In other words, you have them Monday and Tuesday, he has them Wednesday and Thursday and Friday - Sunday every other weekend for you both...unless the idea of NOT seeing them for 4 days freaks you out (as it does me, I admit) so then y'all could do Mon - Thurs as I said and then on 'his' weekend he'd have them Fri - Sat and you'd get them back on Sun and on your weekend you'd have them Fri - Sat and he'd get them on Sun.

My ex and I do this:

Every week:

Mon and Tues - ME

Wed and Thurs - Him

1st and 3rd weekend:

Fri - Sat - Him

Sun - Me

2nd and 4th weekend:

Fri - Sat - Me

Sun - Him

That way we both get a full day on each weekend where we get to spend a full day with them and also get a full day to ourselves to get things done, read, spend time with friends, etc.

Hope this helps you...good luck with it.  And good luck on the next chapter of your life!! :)

Answer 4

4 on 4 or switching off weeks seems to be a common routine. Just make sure they are organized especially for school and don't forget things at the other parents house.

Answer 5

How about the 2 of you say to one another"this is really hard on the kids, let's go to counseling and both of us be honest with ourselves and each other and  both of us change in order to make a decent home for them instead of this chaos?"