What is a guy to do? - Really need some help......

Question

Things are bad between my wife and I. She tells me that she would rather be at work than home with me, and that it's much nicer here when I am not around. I told her if she is that unhappy there is only one thing to do. We have tried counseling and the counselor sided with me a bit too much for her, so we never went back. Now she is not paying attention to the kids. She doesn't even want to interact with our 1 yr old. She would rather go to the neighbors until the late hours of th night than spend time here. Her biggest gripe is that I don't do anything with our oldest son. I guess her not doing anything doesn't count. I have even went as far as to call her parents to see if they could help. No luck. I am fresh outta ideas. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

One person does not a relationship make.  Sounding like the Yoda.

You both need to have a counselor you can trust. It sounds as if she really needs that perhaps more than you do.

You need to do the things required of you as a father. Try not to be critical of your wife but focus on why you want her home. Find a connection with her that has been lost. Take dance lessons, get a hobby that you can do together. Go on a couples get away.

When people disconnect you have to find ways to reconnect. Get a female counselor. Try not to fix your wife or show that she is always wrong. Let the counselor do that. Talk about what you like about her in counseling. Talk about why you want her in the house. Stay positive so one day she can get there as well. Focus on her good so that it adds to it like fertilizer. Thats what you did when you first dated. You didn't focus on each others negatives. Try it and be persistent. It wont work for the first month or longer. But do your part.

If she never comes back and you tried and tried and tried you will find comfort in the fact that you did all you can.

Answer 2

well it seems like the relationship is pretty much over sad to say but you shouldnt have to settle shes obviously not interested the bad thing is that shes taking it out on ur baby at this point maybe you guys should seperate for a while to figure stuff out. as far as the kids well you should definitely hold on to them since shes not interested