What is a proper punishment for a 6 year old who stole something from a family members house and then lied?

Question

My 6 year old daughter stole something from my sister-in-laws jewelry box. I found the item 3 weeks later and confronted her. She attempted to lie but eventually admitted. I made her call my sister-in-law and apologize. This is not the first time she has taken something from someone's house. I don't know what to do to make her understand the severity of her actions and to impress upon her how lying will only make it worse. Please help.

Answer 1

You can always ask a police officer if they will talk to her about the consequences of stealing.  It might help.

Or make sure she wears clothes with no pockets when you take her visiting. She needs to be taught now. You should be glad she hasn't taken anything from a store, because you could end up prosecuted for her actions.

Good Luck.

Answer 2

There's only one thing to do when a child steals and lies.

You put the child over your knee for a spanking.

This has to be stopped now.. or she'll end up in juvie..

Heck with the time outs..  SPANK!

Answer 3

Of course you would need to take her to the person w/the article & have her apologize for taking it.  She's a little young to have something taken away that she really likes for any length of time, but I definately would restrict her from doing something she really likes to do for a week.  And mark it on the calendar.  Yes, I KNOW we parents also suffer too, but she has to learn the consequences of doing wrong.  You also stated she's done this before, so this has to be worked on for sure.  I don't know your religious beliefs, but if she goes to Sunday School or church, she knows about God.  You could tell her that just because she's doing these things & no one is there to see her at the time, there IS one person who sees EVERYTHING she does, & that's God.  (which of course IS the truth)  You could just tell her that God DOES see her when she takes these things, & it makes Him sad to see one of His children who He loves do things that are not rite.  So when she does these things, there is ONE person who sees her at all times & knows she is doing wrong.  Maybe the next time she's tempted to take something, she'll remember there IS someone who is watching her & knows what she's doing might help.  Also let her know that regardless if she doesn't get caught at that moment, the truth ALWAYS comes out & she'll be punished everytime she does it.  So in the long run, it's always going to be found out anyway.  I do wish you the best...:)

Answer 4

Gather up your family and your sister in law's family, then have your daughter admit to it in front of everyone then apologize and return it. The embarrassment will prevent her from doing it again.

Answer 5

Take something she LOVES vvithout her seeing, then vvhen she cant find it and is upset and tells you she cant find it then tell her you took it. If she experiences hovv bad it is to lose something you love then she'll realize hovv others feel if you take something that belongs to them. Just tell her you knovv hovv sad you felt vvhen I took that from you, vvell thats hovv people feel vvhen you take something that belongs to them.

Answer 6

It is good you made her call and admit what she had done and apologize.  You should ground her for stealing and for lying and let her know the next time her punishment will be more severe.  You should make her go over and return the item and apologize again in person.  Doesn't really matter how you punish her for this, the important thing is that you do punish her.  This time, and every time.  She needs to know that she will get caught and there will be punishment.  That is about all you can do.

Answer 7

w/my kids, handling the situation immediately is essential to them retaining the cause & effect of their actions.  

the minute you're aware of the theft, address her eye to eye. (absolutely no lecturing yet);  have her right her wrong immediately, as an adult would.

tell her exactly what she did wrong & instruct her what she is going to do to put it right... & follow through.

after the item is returned & the apology is made it is appropriate to lecture in private.  the best way to get a 6yr old's respect is to demonstrate it.  siblings do not need to know about the punishment. embarrassing a child by correcting them in front of others only makes them feel shame.  they lose the lesson taught and tend to act out as a means of saving face.  share w/her a time you got caught doing something horrid. and what you had to do to fix it.  when the punishment is given, she'll may still not like it but she will know you are holding the same standard for yourself.

as for lying, of course she lied! she's a kid, got caught & used the only defense in her arsenal.  as she is shown how to correct her mistakes, she will have more than lies in her arsenal to choose from.  unfortunately, she has to make that choice.  the punishment you set might help but, if she is stealing for deeper reasons than wanting a pretty ring( ie: attention, new sibling, school, parents...), it will not help.

Answer 8

All treats..tv/computers/sweets/favourite toys confiscated.

Also ask her to explain why she took it...i mean she is only six why is she stealing ...problems at home/school or just a rude little beep.

Answer 9

I would definitely make her go and apologize in person. Sometimes that is so embarrassing that they will not do it again. It worked for me as a kid. Also, I would give her a consequence. (No favorite toy for a week or 2). If she is going to take something that belongs to someone else, she should also have something of hers taken away.

Answer 10

Tell her that until she can learn not to take other people's things she won't be going on outings where you are going to someone else's house, tell her you will get a babysitter if you want to go visit your sister in law's home, unless absolutely necessary and if you do take her she has to for example stay on the couch the entire time because when she wanders off she takes things.

Answer 11

take away something she loves and next time she will think 2 befor she steals something

Answer 12

Two weeks of restriction no TV no friends no phone on out side no goodies what so ever.

Answer 13

The worst thing my daugter ever took was a bible from church, and then lied to us she was 5. We had to start checking her before we left, and we did not try and hide it. then a few times I would take my boys to my brothers house and make her stay home with here dad, I would tell her that her uncle didn't want her there if she was going to take things and if he couldn't trust her. It finnaly stopped, she is now 10 and a great kid. I also took a few things from her room and made sure she found out about it, but lied to her the way she was lying to me. she didn't like that at all and I told her that is how she made everyone eles feel.

Answer 14

she gets lots of attention for doing this, doesn't she.

Does she get lots of attention for doing good things, or only when she does bad things?

Kids like attention. They NEED attention, love, hugs, the whole works.

Maybe try catching her doing something good. THen make a huge fuss of her. Tell her how much you love it when she does good things. It's a good habit to start.

After you've rewarded her 5 or 6 times over a couple of weeks for doing good things, you might try saying something small and gentle that shows how much MORE you value her being good.

But if she's feeling unloved and unwanted, the behaviour might start again or get worse. If this happens you may need to dig deeper - is there something that she's trying to tell you in addition to the fact that she wants more of your time and attention?

Good luck

Answer 15

I would take away one of her most prized possessions, at least for a week.  Tell her that what she is feeling is just a little bit of what others feel when their items are gone, because she knows where her things are at and why they are missing, but others have no idea where their things are or why they are gone.

I think she needs to be grounded.  Maybe sent to bed early for a week, with no television or games.  Dinner, homework and bed.

Answer 16

well forcing her to return it and apologize are good first steps, you may also decide to take one of her things from her for a week to try to get her to make the connection that losing something is bad... i don't know that it will work but it can't hurt

Answer 17

In my opinion, next time this happens (hopefully it won't!) as soon as you find the item, immediately snatch your daughter up and take her IN PERSON to give the stolen item back HERSELF, along with an admittance and apology, face-to-face with who she stole from.

It seems to me that calling over the phone was too impersonal and just a grab-the-phone-for-2-seconds-say-sorry-t... (if you get what I mean :))

Having to face the person should make her ashamed and perhaps she will stop stealing in order as not to have to feel embarrassed and ashamed again.

Hope I've helped!

Answer 18

have her go say she is sorry to the person she stole from.  Face to face, not on the phone.  its hard but she has to do it.  She has to actually give the item back.  She cannot keep it.  Its not hers to keep

i feel she must have wanted that item, so just like adults have to do, make her do the same.  Work it off.

I know she is only 6 but she can clean things around the house to pay for that item.  it always has to be something she doesnt like doing.  

trust me, this will work.  

cp

Answer 19

Well, you want her to understand WHY it's wrong to steal, she isn't too young to have that explained to her. I would suggest taking something of hers, but I know when my daughter was 6 she didn't care if I took things away from her, she would just find something else to play with. BUT, one thing that always got to my daughter, was taking away an EVENT, like going on a field trip. I think you should tell her your sister-in-law was going to chuck e cheese and the zoo and WOULD HAVE invited you guys, but now she is worried about being robbed, and so since she can't trust your daughter, she'd rather you guys didn't come. I think she'll get the message about why stealing from people is wrong. If she is anything like my daughter, she will make a card saying how sorry she is. But don't ask her to do it, it has to be from her heart, not just doing what you tell her to. That's how you know she learned something.

Answer 20

Since it is a six -year old the proper punishment is time out and maybe a toy token away for a couple days then let him apologize to the people that he stoled from and then let him get his toy back and out of time out

Answer 21

You need to sit her down and explain to her that stealing is wrong and try to put in perspective for her as to how she would like it if someone else stole her things.  Since, as you say, this has happened more than once (and I am assuming that you have confronted her in the past) you shoud try spanking since clearly words alone are not working with her.  You should explain to her that you don't want to spank her but that she didn't listen to you before when you told her not to steal and that this is the only option that she has given you since she really does need to learn not to steal.  

Before you spank her make sure that she understands why she is going to be spanked.  You should make her repeat back after you the reason to be sure she knows it.  When I say spanking I mean 4-7 hard swats with your hand on her butt.  When you finish spanking her you should once again make sure that she understands why she got spanked.  Then tell her that she will get another spanking each and every time she steals in the future.  Once she understands that it is highly unlikely that she will ever do it again.

You should do the same thing whenever she lies and maybe this time split the punishment up and tell her that 3 swats are for lying and the other 3 are for the actual stealing or something to that effect.