What is a really good joke you know of?

Question

What is a really good joke or riddle that will set all your friends laughing?

Please share with me!

The funniest joke gets full marks.

Answer 1

A skeleton walks into a bar he asks for a bear and a mop.

hmmm what else.

Have you ever seen an elephant hide in a tree?

No! Thats why he is Hiding!

3 elephants jump out of an airplane.

2 land on land 1 lands in water

Buh Dump sphhhh

  

Answer 2

A woman woke her husband in the middle of the night

'There's a burglar in the kitchen eating the cake I made this morning!' she said.

'Who should I call?' asked her husband. 'The police or an ambulance?'

Answer 3

I woke up this morning to a tap on my door.

Funny sense of humor my plumber has.

I went into the petrol station the other day and said, "I'll have a Kitkat chunky." She brought me a Kitkat Chunky, and I said, "I wanted a normal Kitkat you fat cow!"

Answer 4

i think this is the best prank to pull...  and it's simple.  just by getting someone to go to http://stuffididlastnight.com    FTW!!!

Answer 5

A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck, and everyone inside dies.

They then get to meet their maker and because of the grief they have experienced; he decides to grant them one wish each, before they enter Paradise.

They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.

The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.

This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous but when God is halfway down the line the last guy in the line starts laughing.

When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor, laughing his head off.

Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be. The guy eventually calms down and says:

"Make 'em all ugly again".

Answer 6

If at first you don't succeed, than sky diving is not for you.

Answer 7

A dog walks into a telegraph office.  He takes a piece of paper and writes "woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof, woof' and hands it to the clerk.  She says.' you know, for the same amount of money you can add another woof to this."  The dog says, "But that would make no sense!"

Answer 8

George bush, a priest, and a little boy are on an exploding plane.

there are only two parachutes so george bush jumps off with 1. the priest being holy, he let the boy have the last parachute. the boy says "no we can both glide to safety because george bush took my school bag"

lol!

Yo mamma's so fat, when she went to the beach, the whales sang "We are family!"

lol! still love this one though!!

Answer 9

A Little kids asks his mom "Is God a girl or a boy?" His mom says "He is half boy and half girl." "Is God black or white." His mom says "He is half black and half white." "Is he straight or g*y." His mom says "He is half straight and have g*y."

The little boy looks up at his mom and says "Mom, Is God Micheal Jackson."

LOL