What is a stag and doe, and what is your opinion of it?

Question

From what I understand, its a wedding fundraiser. Correct me if Im wrong. It just seems to be in poor taste.

So, what are these stag and doe parties? Where did they start, and what is the purpose?

Answer 1

They're because the community is no longer has an opportunity to pitch in and do something for the bride and groom - it is now friends from all over, and family. This way everyone gets to be involved and help the couple get a good start. The only poor taste thing is that the couple has to go and hang out essentially at a bar.

Answer 2

they are a fundraiser for a wedding and they are popular in one city around where i live. it's kind of weird that it's only one city but anyway. i don't really care for them and never go to them when i'm invited, because i feel like i'm only invited so they can get money out of me (it's usually people that i know through someone else and i'm not invited to the wedding, shower or anything else, just the fundraiser) so i do feel they are in poor taste. i kind of feel that people just need to have the wedding they can afford and not expect everyone else to pay for it. i think it is totally different then a bridal shower or a dollar dance (although many people believe a dollar dance is in bad taste, but it's on a much smaller scale).

Answer 3

They are the Worldwide equivalent of the Bridal Shower and the 'Bachelor party?' but they are quite different in that no gifts are exchanged and they are extremely informal. They are just an excuse for one to get together with one's friends and have some fun before the big day. I have no idea where you get the idea that they are 'fundraisers!'

Answer 4

Hi.  I never heard of them until I started on this forum.

Truthfully, I thought they were a co-ed shower, until I read a post just recently regarding exactly what it is.

So, Muffin has told all of us exactly what they are.  I guess just like the the dollar dance and the cash bar, this could be debated until doomsday.  It appears that no one is right and no one is wrong.  Similar to the dollar dance and the cash bar, I guess if guests/friends do not want to participate, they don't have to.

I live in Michigan and have been to many showers and weddings all throughout the midwest including small towns and big cities.  I have never heard of a stag and doe party, so I think it is more of a "UK and Canada thing."  Truthfully, it does sound fun.  And, like Muffin said....it's a fun party with the proceeds going to the couple instead of a club.  I guess I don't see the harm in it.

I would much rather participate in a fun evening with drinks, dancing and prizes than to get a wedding invitation with a cute little poem saying that the couple is requesting money, which, unfortunately, seems to be the trend in the U.S.

Answer 5

It is like a wedding fundraiser, but you are wrong, it is not in poor taste.  In southern Ontario nearly EVERY couple has one thrown for them, especially younger (20 something) couples.

Insulting them and calling them tacky is like calling a bridal shower tacky.  Correct me if I'm wrong, is that not asking to be showered in gifts just because you are getting married?  Please don't insult this tradition, it's somewhat cultural (they have them in England too, it's kind of a British thing I think).

Stag and Does are big parties thrown for the couple by their wedding party (the couple doesn't plan it, it's the bridal parties choice to have one or not).  And people pay like $8 to $10 to attend.  They usually have a hired band or DJ and there are door prizes and raffles for the guests.  Guests pay for their own alcohol.  It's kind of like going to a concert or club for a night, but the wedding couple gets the profit instead of a club promoter/owner.

They are REALLY popular around here, I usually get invited to about 5-6  every summer.  They help the couple pay for their wedding and are just a great time to have fun and let loose and celebrate.  It's also nice because not every friend of the couple can get invited to their wedding, so it's a chance for all the younger friends to party and celebrate without having to worry about offending Grandma Patty (if you get my drift).

And people will of course comment that "people just shouldn't throw weddings they can't afford" but that's a moot point, because a stag and doe helps them afford it, and everyone always riles on how poor taste it is to have a cash or limited bar at a wedding too, or they complain about not having the best food or DJ etc, so it's really hard when you have a big family to have a nice wedding that you can afford without people complaining the whole time that you didn't do SOMETHING perfect, even if it's just one aspect you cut to save money.

Anyway, this topic will probably turn into a huge argument about how tacky the whole tradition is, but it is a TRADITION in some places.  So if you don't like the idea, don't have one.  But don't knock it until you try it!

Answer 6

Stag and Doe.... Buck and Hen

Same parties, different party animals ha ha!

Some can be in poor taste but it depends on the people.

Stag/Bucks nights have turned into a boys night that is revered as the last big night as an unmarried man.  Sometimes they have presents, sometimes they just drink beer.

Doe/Hens nights are similarly for the last party as an unmarried woman.

It's when people have wedding/bridal showers requesting for gifts/money that it turns into an excuse for the couple to accumulate more stuff and raise funds.

Answer 7

a stag and doe is a big party that is thrown before the wedding... some couples use it to make money to pay for some of the wedding or there honeymoon. Its not in poor taste if you are in it for the right reasons... we planned one with our wedding party that was full of exciting things to do and with a great dj for dancing. there are games and music and food that is provided for a small fee at the door. they arnt as popular in the States i don't think as they are in Canada.. which is where I am from

Answer 8

I think they are equivalent to Jack and Jill parties in the US, but I could be wrong.