What is acceptable or desirable small talk in Germany?

Question

I am not an extravert, but I usually do okay in casual social situations. How do you break the ice with regular middle class German folks? I keep getting blank stares. And these are with people who speak fluent English. The region is Bavaria if that makes a difference. What is common chit-chat at German cocktail parties?

Answer 1

The germans LOVE to talk about the weather. Anything, its too hot.. too cold for this year.. too much, not enough snow.. blah blah blah.. they can go on for hours.

Answer 2

This is not true of all Germans, but generally Germans are a bit more reserved until they get to know you better. The blank stares are probably due to a combination of reluctance to speak English - not because they are snobs, but because they don't want to sound stupid and the fact that they don't know you very well and are trying to figure out what to make of your friendliness. Keep the topics light at first...the weather, the holidays etc. and give them time to warm up to you.

Answer 3

Break the ice with a German in Bavaria? Do you have an ice pick in your purse dear? *smile* OK, after 19 years in Germany here is my answer; Try talking about;  hobbies, collecting(antiques for example), traveling, Star Trek(I always meet at least one 'Trekkie' in my business and private parties), films(the quirks of translation is always fun), and meanings of words in both German and English, how they would be translated is always an interesting topic.

2 of my personal favorites are; 'The Sound Of  Music' - try explaining that one to a Bavarian, and the end of the movie was filmed in Bavaria! My second one is the Cemetary(Friedhof) Culture in Germany, no, not like the movie 'Harold&Maude', I mean how the graves are taken care by the families. Being a hobby gardner I am always amazed by the flowers and plants at some of the graves. Strange topic? Yes, but it will give you an opening for discussion, be it gardnering, family history, or culture.

From my personal experience and 18 years of visiting the Oktober Fest in Munich I would not bring that up as an 'Ice Breaker'. While the Oktober Fest is very well known world wide, many Bavarians consider it a touristy thing.

Good Luck with your small talk!

P.S. If all topics fail, do what I do; Smile and drink a beer.

Answer 4

Talk about movies, music or things you´ve seen on your trip or ask for tips, where to go to for sightseeing. Ask the others how they will spend the holidays, whether they enjoyed the WM this year and so on. I don´t think, that german chit-chat is different than canadian :-)

And just like the first person said: Don´t ask for Hitler - even Germans are more than the past of their country and it´s not nice just to be fixed on this.

Answer 5

Yeah, I agree with several posters in that Germans can be more reserved than you might expect coming from America.  I think weather is a typical, cliched icebreaker.  

I taught English at a German university and asked my students this very question.  I found that many Germans enjoy talking about their families and are interested to hear about others (as long as the questions are not too personal).  They like to talk about their hometowns or where they are from.  They like to talk about travel and vacations.

Often it pays to be inquisitive.  Ask questions about their family life, culture, traditions, travel plans, and vacations.  Invite questions from them.  I would always make small self deprecating comments about public transportation in America or the weather where I am from in order to inspire further inquiry.  They may be slightly shy with you and expect you to make the first move.  It may sound backwards, but in Germany it seems that more pressure is put on the guest/visitor to insert themselves into the conversation than in America, where we get used to sitting back and getting 20 questions if we are a guest...

Most of all, keep in mind that in Germany it is acceptable to sit in silence for a few moments and not say anything, if nothing comes to mind.  In America we often feel like we must fill the air with conversation and laughter.  Germans are more comfortable sipping their beer and looking around before considering what to say next.

Answer 6

I know aufwiedersein means see you later.

Answer 7

Run some Ice water through your veins and be stoic and subdued on every subject except for s*x, beer and brats and you'll do fine...

Oh... and don't mention Hitler...  They don't like that much!

Answer 8

Bavaria, hmm. Oktoberfest is a good one. Compare it to the Carnivals or State Fairs in the States. Ask if they've ever been to the States, talk about your city or State in comparison to the place you're at in Bavaria.

Food is another one, who doesn't like to eat? Tell them what your mom always cooked that you loved and ask for their favorite food.

If you're around an Army post (like I am in Bavaria), ask if they see a change in business whenever new soldiers arrive.

Ask for good places to shop (always something I can talk about forever ^^), bargains to buy in the area, or something really nice they recommend to buy to send to the States for your folks at home.

And of course the weather. How hot it was a few years ago and what they predict for the coming summer.

Stuff like that...I could go on forever...and PLEASE don't even think of Hitler. I don't understand why Hitler equals Germany in so many minds. But that's a different story.

Have fun small talking^^

Answer 9

hey!

I don´t know if you are over there and if why you are there, but if you are there at the moment try to get to a christmas markt in german ( weihnachtsmarkt) i´m an exchange student from germany and at the moment in the us so if you have question contact me please