What is adoption like?

Question

fftlandmcrfan and LC

ime not sure why he dont want to have a proper child thats what i want but he wants to adopt ... and ime the one who follows the crowd .. but still adopting is okay, right? but i preffer own child

Answer 1

I'd like to say two things the first is that you may be thinking a bit too ahead into the future

The 2nd that female hormones are very powerful and alot of couples end up falling apart beacuse they can't have their own child i don't understand why can't you adopt one and have one of  your own? a relationship is about what you both want not just what he wants i don't want you two to break up though! Don't just ditch having your own child yet...

Answer 2

adopting a child is one of the most amazing decisions in the world also deciding to put a child up for adoption is one of the most hardest and bravest decisions but adopting a child means you are doing a wonderful selfless thing in giving a child in need a permanent loving home when whatever reason their natural parents cannot most people put their kids up for adoption not because they do not want the child cause they genuinely do want the child but they know they cannot give a child everything the child needs and they make the heartrending decision to give that child to an amazing and wonderfull and selfless couple to bring up right and one day they know that child will track them down and they will always hope to hear that the child was happy and had a good life

so talk to your boyfriend and find out his reasons for this he mayby cannot have kids or was mayby adopted himself and if you talk and you love him as much as you say you can both work this out and come to a happy medium

Answer 3

It is a wonderful experience.  Why would he just want to adopt rather than have a biological child with you?  Is there a reason that he feels you may not be able to have a biological child together?

Answer 4

No,don't be upset,he's just curious about the future and having ideas about things,which is perfectly normal! He diddn't mean actually OURIGHT "well,that's it all sorted,we're having an adopted child and that's it!" did he?!

Amy,do not worry,everything's going to be fine! You wil grow into a wonderful family with this boyfriend,adopted child or not!

good luck,and just talk to your bf about how you're feeling! xxxx

Answer 5

I was adopted when I was 6 months old in 1960 and the family I live are the best I am now 47 I originaly came from York and now live in Haworth you would be best talking to adoption agencies they are in a better position to give you the facts

Answer 6

Adoption can be very painful for the adoptee and the adoptive parents.  Why does your boyfriend want to adopt?  Is it because he doesn't want you to lose your figure with a pregnancy?  You two need to discuss serious things like this.  How old are you?  You don't have to accept that he wants to adopt if you don't want to.  You won't be doing the child any service at taking it in when you won't love it propertly.  

When a child is adopted they first have to be relinquished from the parent who gave birth to them and there is pain involved.  It's not all rosey & beautiful like a lifetime movie.

Answer 7

You might ask your boyfriend why he wants to adopt.  There could be a lot of reason if he is adopted or has adopted family members. Maybe he has some sort of genetic issues that could be passed on. Maybe he just really wants to give a home to a child that needs it. I myself am adopted which is why I plan to one day adopt, but i'd like to have a bio child too.

True fully no one should adopt a child if they don’t truly want too. Could you love an adopted baby as much as a biological one? Sadly some people just can’t do that, these are people who have no business adopting. No one should just adopt to please their partner you have to truly want it too, otherwise it’s unfair to the child/baby who deserves parents that are going to love him or her with their entire hearts no different then if he or she had been born to them.

Again just because you adopt does not mean that you cant also have a biolgoical child too, and vice versa

Answer 8

Sounds like you have to sit down and communicate with your boyfriend, you don't do anything just because that is what he wants. You sound young you will change your views at least a hundred times

Answer 9

Adoption is a very lovely thing to do it helps you build a family and help a child.  I can't really explain it other then to say it is the best feeling in the entire world!!  I love my son more than words can say and he is my world.  I knew that he belonged with me the moment we saw each other.  I picked my son up when he was just a few days old.  I also have a biological daughter who is younger and can honestly tell you that you treat them both the same and love them both the same.  Both my kids are the light of my lives and so for me adoption is a wonderful feeling.  I don't think of my son as being adoptied anymore just mine!  Hope this helps

Answer 10

i was given away at the age of three, sure I had a better life, but it was lonley on my own, the people I was given to were older so died when I was 18 lost mam, and 21lost dad,

so a orphan at 21, no siblings no close family, no medical records, nothing, I never let it get me down and married had kids, years later divorced, and again on my own kids married grandchildren, and i have lots of friends, but I envy people when they say they have a aunt, mam, uncle, brother, my family circle is very small and thats sad, for me and my son and grandson,

Answer 11

i was adopted at 2 months because my birthpearents died

i wonder about them nowadays but it is very good to adopt

Answer 12

adoption is a wonderful thing i have adopted a little boy (and in the process of try for another,) giving a child a home  that has been deprieved of the necessary basic care from birth familys.  i had problems getting pregnant but what i think is the main concern is the child and whether you feel you can give someone else child love and support.   there is nothing stopping you having your own and then adopting at a later date,  this would seem to be an solution for you both.  you need to talk long and hard with your partner whether it really right for you both.  the trouble is it seems to becoming  the designer package that everyone want because of stars like madonna.   it is a huge commitment with many problems but in the end its worth every  minute of the bad times these kids come with issues.

Answer 13

alot of red tape, a lot of money, a lot of stress a lot of time,,, major major MAJOR rewards in the end.

Answer 14

Closed adoptions can be difficult for all concerned as the adoptee who answered you mentioned. Having said that, if the birthmother has no alternatives to relinquishment, adoptive home of parents who really want to parent is a great alternative. I would definitely consider some form of open adoption as there are too many questions on all sides if no info is available. Closed adoptions aren't the choice of the majority of birthmothers, contrary to what is said by many lawmakers.

There are also many children who have been placed in custody of states who need "forever" parents.

Answer 15

heyya hunni

well there could be a good reason like he cant have kids or something talk it throu with him but not til your older as it might not work out hope it does thou

Answer 16

Hm.

Well, I am glad that you are considering it, honey, because there aren't enough adoptive families out there.

I was adopted at three days old. I wonder every day about my biological parents and why they gave me up, but that's because my adoption was a closed one and still remains a closed one. (I am 20 years old) ... I would suggest keeping the adoption open.

in my experiance, Adoption is just like having a baby yourself, but skipping the nine months of stomah pains, three months of morning sickness, and swelling ankles.

Answer 17

Adopting is wonderful is both parents want it.

We had two biological children (sons) and about 2 1/2 years ago we adopted two girls (who were biological sisters).  We also have a foster daughter for probably the next 8 or 9 months.

I can tell you that my feelings for all of my kids (the ones I carried and gave birth to, the ones I adopted and the one I foster) are the same.  I love them all, I'd lay down my life for them all, I provide the same care for them all.  I discipline them all and help to guide and advise them all when they need it.

Why not look at having a biological child or more than one...and then adopting after that (or before that)?