What is an appropriate punishment for a 6 year old that held her sister underwater?

Question

My 6 year old held her 4 year old sister underwater today. I was mortified, when asked why, she said it was because her sister was mean to her sometimes too. I don't know if it's a jealousy issue. I want a punishment to teach her empathy, right now she is just upset she is in trouble, not that she could have killed her sister.

Answer 1

is there something she really loves you could take away for a few days?

Answer 2

Wow, I would withhold a very important toy and have a very strong conversation with her about bathtub safety. Her sister should be with you when you`re talking to her so she can see how much distress she`s caused her. She could have died.I would tell the older child this..from now on supervise her, she`s got anger issues.

Answer 3

I'm assuming you meant she did this in a swimming pool? I'd let her know why it was so serious and wrong and not let her go swimming the rest of the summer.  I think making her look at her little sister, apologize and then come up with six things (for her age) that she likes about her sister to say to her sister may make her realize that her sister is special and can't be replaced like a broken toy.  A good talking to about water safety and what is acceptable or not is also in order.

I think the suggestion of removing her most prized possession and throwing it out may be drastic,but in this case drastic is what you need. She needs to understand her actions were serious and that if her sister had died she isn't ever coming back.

Answer 4

the Chenney method...

waterboard her!!!!

Answer 5

no tv no movies nothing that he likes ok no ice cream no toys nothing just doin homeworks at home

Answer 6

I think Dewey's suggestion is good, but I would call the pediatrician and see what they suggest. It could become serious and happen again when you don't see it. I threatened my brother(who I absolutely hated when we were younger, now we are very close) with death and told him I would kill him but never actually tried it.

Answer 7

She needs to understand death.

...and how "others" are merely other "selves."

Show her the movie, "My Girl" starring Macauley Culkin - where a little boy dies.

Maybe that will give her more compassion.

Answer 8

at 6 she has no real idea of what the consequences could have been. You need to educate her on what can happen. Don't sugar coat it. She is more upset about being in trouble because she has no real grasp on death and that it is permanant. She just wanted to annoy her sister. Educate her on what could have happened and make her apologise

Answer 9

My sister did this to me when I was younger, too. She was about 13 and I was 3. She was super jealous of me and things only got worse over the years. She is still in counseling and she is 37 years old now. I think your child needs someone to talk to. Take her to see a counselor. It will help to just get things off her chest.

Answer 10

Punishment isn't appropriate in this situation. Counseling is.

Punishment is for naughtiness, fibs, breaking say an expensive lamp etc...not for a serious psychological issue like this.

This needs  sensitive handling and punishment would just trivialize what she has done. She needs to act more responsibly as she is the older one. So when the younger one makes a mistake, she should correct her instead of trying to drown her. Doesn't matter if she is only 6, but she needs to act older than the little one  and being older doesn't mean that she has the right to do anything.

Also, supervise them while they are bathing/swimming.

So yeah, that seems like the right way to handle it.. its not jealousy, but more like a power play.

Punishment can't teach empathy, guidance by elders can.

Answer 11

She could of really harmed her little sister, I think I would spank her. I would also have a very long and serious conversation with her about what she did. Another thing you  may want to do is monitor her behaivor and make sure she does not make a habbit of behaving like this. If she does, then seek help

Answer 12

Spank her bottom until she cannot see straight then  ground her from swimming for the next month.Never allow them to be in the water without you there.I guarantee she will think twice next time.Then you find out what her sister does to her that she considers mean.You need to KNOW the reasons behind this hostility.

Gievn she could have killed her sister, but if she is beingbullied and you haven't a clue, then she may have seen it as self defense.I do not usually punish for self defense, but in this case if you don't her anger will run wild,but you need to find out the root of the problem and deal with it or else her anger will eventually come out and she will be too old for you to do anything about it.

Answer 13

This is a very serious problem.  You have to make her feel the serious gravity of the issue.  For instance you must take something away from her that she loves forever and never give it back to her.  Explain to her that if she had succeeded in harming her sister than she would never see her sister again just like the toy or doll.  She will understand the punishment through the loss and will understand the consequences of what she could have done through the loss of the thing that she loves.  What ever you take, it must be something thAt she loves and you can never give it back to her.  It will be painful but you have to do something that matches the seriousness of what she has done.

Answer 14

well i think you should get medical help not to say she is crazy but who would do such a thing

Answer 15

Hold a mock funeral. Tell her that her sister has developed a lung disease from being held under water and that she has passed on to the otherside. Have everyone  in the whole family but your 4 year old come into the livingroom with tears in there eyes saying how much they will miss her. Tell your six year old that you wish she hadn't have been responsible for her sister's demise.

Then when she starts to cry and get sad. Bring the 4 year old back out.

The six year old will be so HAPPY her little sister isn't actually dead and she will learn to appreciate her.

Answer 16

I think this kid needs a good spanking. First spank her, then send her to her room. After abut 10 minutes, explain to her why you did what you did, and what she did wrong. Tell her the harm she could have caused to her sister. She will be very sorry for what she did. Hope this helps!

Answer 17

sit her down and explain like you would to an adult the harm she could have caused to her sister - i think a little bit of a guilt trip in this case in not a bad thing.